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Sis In Law Issue

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Giri12, Sep 24, 2020.

  1. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    Younger Sister in law has a 2 yr old boy while i m still struggling with infertility. She has a IT job currently work from home. I have a grand mother in law, mother in law father in law and hubby. She has just mother in law at home who has age related problem her father in law stays in nearby city doing farming. I do have ok relationship will all. Recently sis in law is staying atour home fro morning 10 to evening 7 as her mother in law is ill. Its happening more frequently now. As we r many people here we all babysit her baby and herself too. My inlaws are very happy with this arrangement as they get to meet them everyday. I end up doing all the chores all by myself n feeling this burdernsome emotionally n physically. How to deal this if it happens for rest of my life.
     
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  2. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    When i was a kid my mother kept us in daycare. I know that nowadays day care are not good but is there any other solution. I cant tolerate the drama everyday. Also i feel very left out when they r all in one room having discussion. Me being nice doesnt mean i am ready for this.
     
  3. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    I often wonder how people can be this selfish, and their family also either dont notice or just support them. Her MIL is having age related problems and alone, and she is left to managing things by herself because, your sister in law has a family to care for her and her child. I feel it would be more appropriate for your mother in law to go over to her daughter's place to care for the child and her MIL too. You can then continue to hold fort here at your place as usual. Your suggestions of daycare etc will surely not be taken in the right spirit. You can ask your husband to speak to his mother saying its not easy to have a permanent arrangement as at present. Best wishes.
     
    Giri12, shravs3, MalStrom and 2 others like this.
  4. Sreevidyaa

    Sreevidyaa Bronze IL'ite

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    Ask your husband to talk with his sister and the need for your rest. Your sister in law is selfish and just using your hospitality. She will not change unless there is intervention from your side. Your in laws are not going to talk with their daughter. So ask your husband to talk.
     
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  5. Patientone

    Patientone Bronze IL'ite

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    Why don’t you fall ‘ill’ from all the work for a couple of days. They’ll start having to pull their weight and help.
     
    shravs3 and Sweety82 like this.
  6. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Finest Post Winner

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    Pls do not say anything about day care.
    You do minimal work at home. Ask others to pitch in for small works like making roti, dosa, chop veggies, fold or dry clothes.
    Ask SIL to bring breakfast one day or ask her to make dinner now & then, without being obvious.
    (I know some can do some of us can't play smart) try
    If you say to your in-laws they will blame you first foremost saying she is coming to her home.
    make your husband understand how much work you putting up for 3 old people is equivalent for 3 toddlers.
    You have to be strong & stress free.
    Don't interact much & when they ask you to baby sit say it's like another toddler at home.

    Whatever you do how much ever you do it's not enough. So put minimum efforts.
     
    Giri12 likes this.
  7. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    Thanku so much everyone to give suggestions on my issue.
    My father in law did point out that my mother in law should go to their house at take care of her mother in law and baby but my mother in law didnt like the idea as here we all help whereas in this option she will have to do more at her place. But i will surely use this strategy for upcoming week or so.
    I really have never cheated in my whole life by faking health issues to reduce workload but as i m also work from home not very busy though still has a small teaching part time job. So i do get sick sometimes due to this extra workload. Now i will be more vocal in front of them about my health issues.
     
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  8. AppuMom

    AppuMom Silver IL'ite

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    Join some online courses and make yourself super busy.When you have free time for yourself people may want to grab it from you for their selfish reasons.
     
    Giri12 likes this.
  9. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    Talking about this issue with hubby is bit tricky as he is very fond of baby and sister in law and doesnt notice this increased workload. Instead i will take father in law by my side and convince mother in law and hubby for the option to go to sister in law house.
     
  10. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    Very true. I have even started online share market class but my mother in law calls me whenever she needs help or insists that i should manage this any how. So scenario is sometimes my sister in law gets a good afternoon nap while due to overwork i hardly get time to reach bed.
     

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