SIL's hurtful words.

ASG,

Sorry to hear about your issues with SIL.

One of my mom's sister is not too friendly with her because she is older(around 10 years) than my mom so feels she is always right since she is older.

I did not read the whole thread but if u are 23 now and got married 4-5 years back when u were around 19, that is really young(as most women in India don't get married at that age) and so your SIL might feel you are a young woman whom she can dominate. I gather you were raised in US and marriage at that age is more common than India, but your SIL might not realize that.

As others have mentioned, ignore her since your DH supports you which is what matters, focus on your health and job searching/study. Lot of folks(workplace and sometimes at home too) will try to pull us down in life. If we feel bad, think about it we have let them succeed. Don't spend more time thinking about this.

For your job search part, i recall you were looking for positions in the HR area, I looked at the HR Management book which was sent to me which looks like a good tome of HR. I am not in HR, but estimate that might be a good place to start.

HTH

 

Sweep this incident under the carpet. You are lucky that your H is supporting you.
Dont ever let relatives mess up your marital life.
At the end of the day in laws are inlaws ,never take them to be anything else.
You can off load your woes to your friends , your own family but not SIL who has proved to be such a double crosser.Be cold to her , keep a distance.
Now you know who was instrumental in breaking up your Hs 1st marriage !!!!!!

Your H may be having his own job issues , in a marriage there are plenty of such phases which both spouses go through.
Go for your treatment and dont let SIL upset you, she was just being nasty.
All marriages have ups and downs though others see them as perfect.

 

Quit trying to mold so that you can be a part of their group. Clearly, she(your SIL) is a problematic personality.

Unpaid ones typically don't carry as much weight as paid ones not to mention as you don't get compensated for it, financially it does not help. Lot of companies won't treat that as experience, IMO. They feel if you did not get compensated for it, perhaps you were not not skilled enough. Now, I know high school graduates need to do community service to get into college, get scholarships, but from a job search perspective unpaid internships(in most of the cases) do not help a lot.

HR is not rocket science and with a MBA you are not exactly a rookie. I glanced at the book briefly and found things most people can grasp. In another thread http://www.indusladies.com/forums/working-women/136854-hr-interview-questions.html#post1823446
a poster without HR background is trying to get a H-1 visa in that position. So, why should you work without pay? Pick a book on HR, Google what HR mainly does and you should know enough to get a paid position in a week or so.

There are books on Emotional intelligence. Try reading them as they can help you in HR job search and dealing with your current situation. At work place, there can be lot of folks like your SIL

Don't underestimate or shortsell yourself. To the working world or to your relatives like SIL. Both should consider you a formidable figure.

HTH

 

Asg, u mentioned that they accepted Yo ur dh's ex. In my opinion his ex would have got a similar treatment. They just keep singing songs about her to hurt you. For eg my mil nd sil praise all the other dil's of the family in front of me. But in reality they don't care for them any more than they care for me. They just say those things to hurt me nd then I go nd fight with my husband.

As far as acceptance by the family goes - mils nd sils can never accept dil as part of the family. You will always be hated for becoming such an integral part of their sons/bros life.

Take this incident as a lesson nd never discuss any personal issue with mil or with sil even if they make you feel loved and wanted by the family. Do not fall for it in future.

 

ASG, You are a very smart girl thru and thru . Why do you care what your SIL thinks or tells you.You have a permanent place in your hubby;s life. You are his wife.Period. Whatever SIL says doesnt change.

When to get married is your joint decision i.e you and your hubby;s. Not your SIL not her husband and definitely not IL's. All of them are not in the picture here. So what does it matter what she thinks or says.Tell her point blank its not her business.

She maybe feeling she had no say in your marriage and feeling a little lost. Talk about 30 + woman loosing her yo yo.Becoz thats what SIL;s think of their bros. Their Yo yo;s. Atleast mine does.

Here's the thing, whatever she says about your hubby's ex, one thing is understood. She is your hubby;s ex as in she has already finished her part in his life.Tell her take a hint woman ,we are married for close to 6 yrs .

I never tell intimate details to my IL's .It always comes back to bite you. Its free for all info to men /women in IL's and sometimes even close friends.Jisne poocha use bol diya.
Dont stress yourself. Every talk we have with IL's is lesson learned. We can never stop learning nor drop our guard. When she visits you be careful as to what info you share and how she comes to conclusion. They watch us like hawks. Its always my poor bro got himself entangled with a awful SIL to them.
Good Luck for your new job and take care.

 

God ASG, SIL problems are the last thing you need if you're suffering from VP! Well, I've been there; had it; and i can sympathize with you totally. Are you still under treatment....if so, do shove all thoughts of nosey in-laws away, and get on with fixing yr health...ATB

Just a thought - you did mention your in-laws being friendly with you of late - perhaps that's what's bugging your SIL right now. I know my SIL is paranoid abt my relationship with her mother - it's much more pleasanter for her to play the "ministering angel to the misunderstood MIL", than to hear her mother talk positively about me!