silly question about socializing

Dear Deepa,

I do not have any suggestions for you as I am facing somewhat similar issue. I think one has make a conscious effort to overcome this problem. Sometimes I do it while most of the time I go back to the loop again

 

I can say this..

you may choose to say hi or ignore.. but be very clear what you choose...

if you choose to say Hi .. just go ahead.. they may not be looking at you.. if you just wave your hand from a distance without ensuring they saw you could back fire.. they would not have noticed and it would be embarassing for you... ensure you catch their eye or you may even pat on the back (if they are friendly type) and say hi... if it is a library or something you may just say a silent hi and move on..

if you choose not to say hi.. just stick to that... don't look at them, kill your curiosity to know what they are into... just move on as if you have not seen... if they happen to say hi to you (they would do it the way i mentioned above) then respond..

but the key here is to be clear on what you want to do..

 

I am normally a very friendly person. Basically, I use this pleasant smile in my face whenever I see a person (be it a known one, friend, acquaintance or a stranger) directly on face to face. I just do not look down, or turn down my face if the other person is not so known to me. This particularly makes the other person comfortable if he/she needs to talk to me (for whatever the reason.. ranging from saying a hi or inquiring address on the streets etc...).

If necessary I greet them like Good morning.

I just do not over do this by waving my hands to an acquaintance or a stranger, those at distance. There are chances that they might not notice you or even mistake you.

Even if that is a group or in single, I just normally start the conversation as to how are you, why are you here etc..etc...

 

If you are shy to say Hi just give a smile first if they smile back it means they have noticed you, now you can say hi with confidence.

 

Being a shy person myself, I can tell you from my experience as to what I do.
I can say I have improved a lot over the last few years

No matter what.. the key is to never feel embarrassed. You haven't done a great blunder here.
If the person sees you from a distance, you can smile and say hi. If you walk past the person or a group and s/he/they do not notice you, you can still say a quick hi and a sweet smile and walk ahead or if you know the person better, you can even stop. Sometimes when there is a group and lets say you go the "1) hi 2) smile and 3) stop" way, you need not force yourself to talk first. For a few seconds just stand with a warm smile.. Some sensible person from the group will definitely say a few words. If no one opens up, then you can just look at the most comfortable person (for you) in the group and say a few words, just as you would if you saw her one on one. Depending on the situation you can then leave the group. This way, you wont come across as being haughty and at the same time you can evaluate the people if they are worth a "hi and smile" the next time you see them. If you feel they cold-shoulder you or are not worthy of it, then you do not need to feel guilty the next time......and just say hi or simply walk past whatever.