Sil Didn't Tell Me She Delivered 2nd Baby..despite Good Relationship

Don't hate me for saying this, you are a nice and generous person and go out of your way to do things for others . But in the end when your generosity and kindness is not reciprocated you get really hurt. In short , you really need to be less sensitive for your own peace of mind. You are expecting too much love from the IL's side. Doesn't happen all the time. Its also possible that the SIL is busy with a new baby and hence the easiest thing to do was to text your husband . Don't let your happiness depend on others .

 

You need to ask her why was it kept a secret despite having good relationship with you. Was she afraid of some complications.

Had faced a similar situation. When I confronted her,she advised that most of the relatives knew about the pregnancy and she expected me to have known from them and i should have enquired about it.

 

This is another favor your are doing to them. They don't deserve it at all.
The best way to get back at them is to get pregnant right away, and don't tell anyone about it till the child goes to college.

 

@Vedhavalli yes it hurts when someone who moves very close to you have not disclosed important information. But wait, you need not say that u r done. Before that when she calls you, you express this to her directly in a polite manner. U make her understand that you felt sad because of this. Since u say that she moves closer there is nothing wrong in telling this.

 

It's quite obvious that she didn't want to tell you about her pregnancy . She hid it intentionally from you for reasons best known to her .
Just move on and show no resentment or reaction to her . Some people enjoy it when we feel hurt with their actions and to show the that you are hurt means giving her pleasure . Act indifferent about her behaviour and just stick to congrats , how's the baby doing and so forth kind of talks . Even if you confront her , what's going to change now? She did what she had to do . It's not like she will repent or get pregnant again and declare it to you next time to make it all right . Why bother and give her the pleasure of knowing that her actions have affected you ?

 

Dear OP,

Definitely it hurts you.

You have two options -

1. Either ignore and draw the boundaries with her with a limited communication OR ignore and be normal with her as if nothing happened and you didn't even observed that she hid something from you. It will be a surprise for her if she purposefully hid that fact from you.

2. Confront - Ask her calmly in a casual way why she didn't let you know about her pregnancy. You can continue with her as usual, If you feel she had a good justification for that.

Think which option gives you more peace of mind. If cutting off the communication with her gives you more peace, then you can opt that one also.

 

Two pregnrncies with in short period somebody don't feel comfortable to share

 

I absolutely love this advice!!