Sick Parents Thrown Out

I am reminded of a story recently read.We have often read about the grandson telling his father to take care of the mud plate in which the grandfather is fed, so that in future he can also feed his father in the same mud plate.
Here the story is about the aged mother of a rich son ,left in a home. In her last days, the home authorities send for the son. The old lady is gasping for breath. She requests her son to provide a table fan to her. The son is surprised. She a few more hrs to live. Why does she need a fan.
The mother slowly but clearly tells her son that recently her grandson had come to the home to collect details so that he could leave his father there.
The mother feels that her son accustomed to A/ C style of living may suffer much for want of a simple fan. She desires that her son, in his old age should not suffer from stuffiness.
The fan arrives and she leaves the world.
As long as such parents are there Kamalji's plans may not work out.
Reg Viswa's suggestion in the last para of his mail, many youngsters may come forward to take care of elders if the scheme fructifies. But parents, out of ego or fear, may not like live with others. When their own children have desrted them, how can they believe others?What is the guarantee that they may not be insulted by the adopter's parents?
People with pensionable service need not fear that much.For others who have necessarily to financially depend on their sons/daughters,the future seems gloomy.
We cannot blame the parents too. However frugal they might have been, in the absence of Family Planning devices,with more number of children, aged parents with costly dangerous ailments how could they think of saving for themselves. Their fond hope rests only with children whom they have brought up with utmost care, educated them well?
There are cases where parents also are at fault.
Unconditional love, affection etc have lost their meaning.
For people with limited children, high income and a moderate love for parents, this may not be an issue at all.
For majority of all others, with more siblings with different economical status, more and more biological disorders, taking care of aged parents is definitely a problem, however much affectionate they are.
Jayasala 42

 

Dear Kamalji,
A good write up…. I think this time u did not come across excellent jokes… to make us forget the write up and laugh on the jokes.
My father will retire in another two or three years and after working in a Gulf country for several years and fulfilling many expectations of the family he does not have a very good bank balance to employ so many servants and drivers.
But one thing he keeps saying is “It is always advisable to keep the cash required for post death rituals under your pillow”. In our tradition there are a lot of rituals to be conducted and being the father of two daughters, he says this money should be stored when you are in your senses itself.
Later children need not enter into any arguments and can happily conduct all 13 day rituals (even better than their 60th marriage function) heheeeeeeeehe

 

kamalji, thanks for your feedback. My husband and myself are also staying alone (myself 60 and husband 64) although we have 2 sons - one staying with wife and child a short distance away from our house and another son abroad. And, we do manage by ourselves happily and enjoy our freedom and time with grandchild and household work now. Nowhere have i advocated helpless elders committing suicide. It is when we are physically not able to manage a separate living, we either have to resort to living with children if it is convenient - with full self respect - otherwise, there is always the option of living a secure life in a proper old age home/ retirement community. This is my opinion.

 

Dear Kamalji!
What a coincidence .i was discussing retirement home with my hubby& we dont have kids as yet.Things like these are already increasing alarmingly.Better for today's youngsters to invest in good quality retirement homes than buy super luxury apartments.Atleast you dont have to depend on anyone for anything in retirement.Have already seen worst things happenning in my family-parents raising kids completely devoting their maoney,time & in their retirement-children simply shove them off to retirement/old age homes-why daughter in law cannot cook 2-4 chapatis extra,cant talk some soothing words to elderly people(but will more than happily chat useless things online with unknown/vitual friends).& so on!!!1

 

It is my personal belief that in old age, people who do not have sons but have only daughters, live a relatively peaceful life.

No son-----> No possessiveness------->No conflicts with DIL-------->No conflicts means peace of mind.

I feel pity on young couple who yearn for a baby boy , while in pregnancy.