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Siblings Rivalry

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by avantikaarora, Oct 24, 2021.

  1. avantikaarora

    avantikaarora New IL'ite

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    First of all, sorry for a long post but I need to vent out somewhere. Due to some reason, my parents have come to stay with me. Due to my husband’s angry nature, they don’t like to stay with us, which I understand and I am forcing my husband to change. He is trying to be calm and patient with that. My mom loves my younger sister and continuously praises her, her husband and her kids. She just came from their house and wants to go back to them. Like the minute she landed in my house, she started complaining about everything and is not even looking at my son , who is always trying to keep them happy. We are Vegeterian family and my parents are not. I am getting loads of pressure from my sisters to let my mom cook non-veg at home. This doesn’t sit well with me and my hubby, adding to the stress in the house. I feel anything we do is not enough for my family as they never acknowledge that but they will continuously bring up anything that we might have missed doing fir them due to any reason. My sisters called me so many names as I refused to get non veg in home. My question/confusion is inspite of my husband, kid and I doing so much for our family, my family is not happy with us. Nobody will say anything to both my bro in laws if they don’t speak or take my parents, however, the minute I or my hubby say no, all of my family will start name calling us. My parents might have to stay with me for as long as they live as none of my sisters can take them due to visa restrictions but I feel my mom is not happy here and constantly being judged and shouted at by my family will definitely either kill me or destroy my married life, how should I handle this situation
     
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  2. radv

    radv Gold IL'ite

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    If possible rent a furnished place for your parents. Let your mother cook food of her liking.
     
  3. avantikaarora

    avantikaarora New IL'ite

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    But she can’t see much and not able to walk so staying alone is not possible
     
  4. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    In such cases, for the peace and sanity of yourself and others, the best is to rent a duplex house with 2 separate kitchen so that you all are still living together in same house but have freedom to do what you want and let her cook nonveg in sep kitchen as she wants to or if she cant, hire a cook to cook as per your parents wishes.

    You sister or brothers cant argue if they arent willing to keep your parents with them for whatever reasons it is.

    You make your parents sit and talk calmly about what all you can offer for them till they are with you and where you can't compromise and where you are willing to change/accomodate their wishes. Then leave it to them to accept or not. You do what you told them you could do. They will either understand with time or else they will find an alternative themselves.
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Your parents should rent a ground floor flat and live separately close to your home. While staying with you they should not endlessly complain about you and your family. If your sister insults you then tell her that you will need to stop contact until they can be civil to you. You can engage a cook for your parents so they can have the food of their choice in their own home. If their finances are limited then all of you should share in their expenses.
     

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