Should you stay with your in-laws if they are very good ?

I understand your point dear friend. You say you have a good relationship. No matter if you are good or not, or your inlaws are good or not, there would be a difference in opinion if you stay together. It would be inevitable. Does not mean that you are bad or they are bad. Just that you are different entities. A MIL cannot be a mother. A DIL cannot be a daughter. So never take risk. It is better to stay away from them.

Adv of staying away:

1. Good relationship, I bet.
2. Privacy
3. No supervision, your life remains the same as now. Period.
4. no interventions

Disadv:

1. Ofcourse less guidance
2. If your DH is the only son, there can be chances of inlaws getting offended

Reasons you can quote to stay away:

1. Work reasons, find a place nearer to your workplace
2. if you people work late, then let them not be disturbed
3. And you can quote your lifestyle as the reason

Just remember, inlaws have every right on your DH too. However, two women in a house is always dangerous

 

It is definitely going to create friction..Now that you have got used to a nuclear family and managing the household it may becomes difficult to give over the freedom and control to some one else..it might have been different if you had stayed with them from the beginning


but i think you can only decide after evaluating on things like how well you get along with them on living habits, eating habits, influence of in-laws in daily life etc. ..If they are aged and cannot take care of themselves/ill then the move right now makes sense else i would suggest moving to a different house a couple of streets over and stay over @in-laws during alternate weekends and see how things work out...

pros are that if you have kids they can grow up in a bigger family, your burden of household work could be shared if they are able to, expenses would come down, if they are the supportive kind then get good advice from time to time etc

But never promise them to move into their home and then go back on it...good relationship with in-laws comes hard and should be maintained as much as possible not only for you but for the kids you have

 

I do not think it is the case with just in-laws...my mom used to drive me crazy with her method of cooking and would not give up control whenever i wanted to help in high school..she will go into supervise mode and make sure that everything is cooked the right way..it is just the way with two adult females in one house, too much work, less co-ordination, control issues etc

 

Has your dh stated any reason for why you would live with his parents? What is their opinion? I would go nuts if my adult children with their spouses would move to my home . They are more than welcome for dinners and such but my home is my castle.

 

My mom was with me in US for 6 months and she drove me crazy. I was upset she was upset..

For this, she loves me more than anyone in this world and i do the same... but god, it was soo soo difficult !

 

You should atleast give it a chance once......

 

I disagree... its better to stay away and be best friends than fight and move out!..It will hurt everyone.

 

My in-laws are very good too, and we stay together and it works for us because:

1. We stay upstairs, and we have separate setup including my own kitchen
2. My in-laws are non interfering types

So only you can decide based on what you know about your in-laws character and what kind of a setup you will be living in!