Should we always try to give both children the same opportunities ?

2bkind,

I believe, if the basic foundation is strong, a child can manage in any kind of school or environment. Fees increasing by 100% and 200% in a ongoing process and you need to take into figure the escalation. I have paid upto 30k per term/4 terms for both my children together when both were in school, plus the umpteen sundries that crop up. i remember a year when it escalated to more than 1.75lacs/year for both together. that said now one of them is in college while the other is in a higher senior secondary, and the fees that i pay will be shocking for the course that my college goer goes..

coming to your situation, i would prefer the second to get that initial edge that has been so amazing for your first. if you can manage for a couple of years fine. or you could wean off the elder to a reasonbly good school if possible.

The reason, the initial foundation gives them the advantage of being more ahead, more independent that the later years you don't need to sit with them for everything be it regular homework (atleast in many cases)

maybe you need to work out everything and see if it can be smooth sail..

we are always going to be in a confusion, just think of all the pros and cons and take a decision.

 

OP, you are right in considering the future costs. If you do not want to put pressure on your husband, you can start the career process slowly. For example, you can check around, discuss with some experts/friends and zero in on a particular area/field that you want to start off with. You can prepare yourself with some courses or groundwork, and target to start work say perhaps in a year or so.

Else you can consider starting your own venture, take tuition at home or start teaching at a nearby preschool or something that will not affect your daily schedule too much, thereby allowing you to focus on kids.

Launching a career or getting back to work after kids is a big challenge. But believe me, once you start it, things will fall in place gradually and you will be able to handle it well, as you must already be good at multitasking with 2 kids.

I agree with Shanvy about giving your second a good foundation in the initial stages. Education costs are undoubtedly skyrocketing, but at the end of the day the best thing parents can give their kids is good education. You seem to be doing that with your elder one, so this school is tried and tested in that aspect.

 

Since you ask me, mine is a single income family and we have had loads of those unexpected bombs. the only thing that makes sense was to be very clear about the budget. some expenses like medical insurance, kids education are no compromise zones, and we work hard to keep them that way. I was in it, some 22 years back, took the choice of not working then (even when the financial pinch was high) and i have no regret. i believe in my case it was trying to work with what was available and i still do the same. my children needed me so i settled to being a sahm.

I have a daughter and son, and both get the same education, said what my son would want to do is more costlier than what my daughter will do again, the choice of those careers are theirs. their intial pushing on to the university education ladder, from where they can pick up themselves.

I do not want my children to feel that one of them did not get the opportunities that the other got.as a parent i want to be fair and my kids know that.

P.S. people will have different ideas. advices of putting your 2nd one in the elder's school and try to go for a job. this could work or not work for you, but only you can know what will really work for you as a family.

if you find it too hard and pinching you can chose a different good school and put both of them in the same. having both in the same school helps in many ways, if you are going to start working. same timing and more.

all the best.

 

@2bkind i can understand. and i have been in those no back up for many years now, as i have been the back up for all.

and nobody can have a clear vision of the future, love. you never know what is in store. you can plan and execute as much as possible, taking into account the permutations and combinations. that you are thinking of your college fund means you are in the right direction. so plan and work it out. and your children may be one of those matured ones who will not expect you to fund their college.

sleepless nights and stress affects the whole family. a heart to heart discussion with your husband, and working out where you need to crop and not cut, where you can improvise without spending loads and things. and if things have been working great for you, do not rock the boat, look for things that can work without the going to extremities.

 

We are two siblings and we both studied in the same school.I don't know how i would feel if my sibling was not in the same school. I won't like and neither would he. Your kids are probably too young to get that. If you can get your younger one in same school later or pay more and send her to same school. You are planning on working anyways. I won't put price on education. If you think the school is good, go for it.

 

Yes , you should give same opportunities to both kids . Now may be the good time to check your first child's future educational expenditure too and decide if you will be able to continue in the same school till end.

kg classes are only two years , what about the cost of later classes for your second child , will you be able to afford it . If it is just a matter of increased expense for two years , I would shell out more . But if you don't know how the costs are going to be in future , you have to look realistically at your income and decide if it is really worth for putting all your savings for this school .