should newborn sleep alone?

It is a beautiful feeling to hold the little one next to you, I personally recommend it. :thumbsup

I think kids want to be cuddled and need the physical touch. JMO

It does reduce the privacy between the couple though.

 

Newlife

It is wonderful that so many people in your life are weighing in with their opinions, but you have to look at each view critically. For example, if you are given advice like the quote above, you should be able to see that it isn't very sound. You want to carefully and intelligently consider everything you hear.

I think different things work for different families, and this holds true for all aspects of child-rearing. I'm reluctant to advocate one or the other thing to other mothers based on my own experience. What works for someone else may not work for you. Each person, whether a published expert or your neighbour/relative, often has vastly different things to say on a topic. Even all doctors don't always agree on what is right.

In fact, different children in the same family may have different needs. So, educate yourself about all your options, and then see what works for you, your baby, and your husband. Relax, and trust your instincts. Guard against allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by the many strong opinions that have been thrust upon you. Your confusion is going to make it more difficult for you to make the right decisions - and you're going to have to make lots and lots of decisions, so it's important that you can keep a clear head and think independently while considering what everyone has to say.

Babies' needs change over time, so you may end up trying all the options you mention. Your baby may start out sleeping in your bed, move to a crib in your room, and eventually move to a crib in another room. I know babies who have slept in their parents' bed until they were toddlers, and babies who have slept in a separate room since birth. I'm not sure anyone can conclusively say that either option has harmed the babies in question. They all seem very well-adjusted to me.

I recently had my first child, and at a certain point, I realised all the well-meaning advice I was getting was causing more harm to my peace of mind than good. When I finally started trusting myself and doing what was comfortable and worked for me, my husband, and my baby, everything fell quite neatly into place. I found a book I really liked

Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice For Your Baby's First Year

and turned to that whenever I had a concern or query. You may find a book you like, or a relative or friend, or maybe a paediatrician, you feel you can trust, and turn to that source whenever you are confused about something. But I cannot stress strongly enough how important it is for you not to lose your own voice in the deluge of advice that you are being bombarded with.

People tend to advise based on what worked for them, and so justify the choices they made for themselves. I have that urge sometimes too, to foist my opinions on others as a way of validating what I have done. But I have to remind myself that I can't possibly know what the best option for another family is, because I am not them. I have also had to stop myself from judging or criticizing the choices other mothers have made, simply because those choices are different from mine. So, be aware that all these processes are at play when someone offers you advice. Be strong, and be confident - your baby needs his or her mother and father. All the rest of it is secondary.

Best of luck

 

You have some wonderful answers here and some interesting thoughts here.
Let me answer you from the perspective of being a new mom in the first few intense weeks. Most newborns feed every couple of hours through the night. A mom may then have to wake up every couple of hours, walk into the next room or if you have the baby in a crib in your room then to the crib to feed the child. That does impact the quality of your sleep in the initial days. As the child becomes older the feeds tend to become more spaced out and some children even go 5 to 6 hours between feed.
Those were the only considerations for us on how we chose to arrange our sleeping.
Knowing I had a preemie who has to be nursed/fed every 2 hours round the clock, I did co-sleep the first three months. Of course, following the safety measures Gauri here suggests. After a while, it felt the most natural thing for me to do.
I did start out with a crib next to my bed. That did not work well for me, given that my child had reflux. So many a nights were spent with DS kept propped up either on my shoulders or on my belly. I slept many a nights on the glider, forget the bed. And I had to trash all the plans I started with.
IMO, start with a moses basket on your bed and see how it feels for you and your family. If that works well for all concerned look at co-sleeping, side-carring a crib or the baby sleeping in a crib all by himself.
As for children growing up to be anxiety prone because they are sleeping on their own from the beginning, that is mostly anecdotal. I dont think there has been a study that has linked sleeping alone with anxiety - in the research that I did.
I agree with Ansuya that a lot of times people try to help, but end up giving advice that is terrible. What helped me is to nod when I am being advised, do my own reading up, and follow what comes natural to me. HTH

 

Don't worry too much about what others say. Do what is comfortable for you. There is no one way that works for all. For many people, having a baby next to them is comfortable as they can easily feed the baby and go back to sleep, instead of getting the baby from teh crib and feeding it and putting it back. However, if you tend to roll a lot in the sleep or if your husband who shares your bed rolls a lot, you need to take precautions.

What I have experienced personally is to listen/read up on others experiences, and do what is best/comfortable for our scenario. Worrying too much is neither good for you or your baby :bonk