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Should My Mother Contact Boys Mother?

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by nolife, Feb 14, 2019.

  1. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    This is about a guy who rejected me (details mentioned in old thread). Somehow after the meeting , i liked him a lot and unable to get ovver him. After thinking about the whole conversation I genuinely feel there were somuch communication issues from my end too and his questions were new to me. I genuinely feel i would have spoken more cleverly , politely and better.
    My mother understood that I liked him as i kept remembering him now and them, she called his mother and told that I am a nice women and it would be good if her son sees me again and then decide. His mom replied that her son has spoken to me and she would ask her son about this matter and see if he is willing to meet another time. It looked toe that his son did not tell his mother that he rejected me. After he rejected me i was angry and deleted his contact and he deleted y contact too after i deleted his(whats app) but did not block each other so photo updates and all are not. visible. I feel I should not have done this. After my mom called his mother, they never called back.. after one week my mom called them again and is mom did not pick the call.. later realised they might hav gone out of station as they are not online in bharat matrimony. should my mother call them again or leave this as such as guy said no?? can a man give second chance after saying no??
     
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  2. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Platinum IL'ite

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    short answer and long answer , NO. trying to break it to you gently , but both boy and his mom aren't interested. dont find fault with what you said or did, if he couldn't handle that there was no point. he is not the last man in this world and god knows what flaws he has , so move on dear , .. you are worth it, so dont bend over backwards trying to please anyone. and stop being anxious of any kind of a. invisible ticking clock. take ur time to find the right person.
     
    Neelaa, lazy, nolife and 4 others like this.
  3. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    It clearly looks that they are not interested. If at all they were interested they would have contacted atleast in a day
     
    nolife, Anusha2917, BhumiBabe and 2 others like this.
  4. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    See when a man is very interested and want to pursue, nothing will stop him. He is probably thinking this is too much drama and want to move on. Pls save your dignity and move on. this is not meant to be.
     
    nolife, anika987 and shravs3 like this.
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Let it go.

    It is painful but do not degrade yourself.

    Don’t beat yourself that you did this and that.You spoke your mind and he spoke his and he did not respond.It just happened naturally.


    If he is as interested as you,he will approach.Men usually (their genes are like that) make the move first.Let him go.

    Even if he comes back,most probably to check if you are still all Gaga about him.

    Nothing is
    More important that your self respect.


    Please do not make your mother to go behind them.They are not worth it.

    It will ache for sometime but you will be fine.God bless
     
    nolife, shravs3 and senorita2019 like this.
  6. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    This part shows that they may not be interested, because if they were they would have called back n not avoid the calls.

    A man / woman can give second or even more chances but in this case, I am not sure if hes still interested or are they just enjoying the attention.

    Your mom has definitely tried, it would save your family’s respect to not call them again. It looks bad to make your mom go behind them like this. Because they can turn around n say ‘you people were coming behind us’. N most importantly, Interest should be mutual.
     
    nolife and anika987 like this.
  7. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Why marry someone that did not think you were good enough the first time? You will forever be a compromise in his life. You deserve better , don’t you think ?
     
    anika987 and Lalithambigai like this.
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    I have experienced this @nolife when my parents were looking for alliance for me. From my experience no don't contact them again . A couple of times where I was genuinely interested and waiting for them to get back they never got back. When my dad tried contacting them they ignored in a similar way u have mentioned. After 2 incidents I stopped thinking much or feeling bad. It's sensible to move on.
     
  9. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    So true. This arrange marriage setup sometimes it is too annoying :smirk:
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
  10. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    yes totally agree. It's like job interview . When we don't get through we should move on to try elsewhere rather than thinking what the hell went wrong. Off course little introspection is required but one advice @nolife is don't take things personally to your heart. Unless it is all fixed and you have decided to proceed there is no need to think much about the few whom we just meet once. This is how it is in arranged marriages.
     
    shravs3, anika987 and Lalithambigai like this.

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