Should i stop my SIL- brother's wife.....

manisha036 · Nov 6, 2014

Hi ladies
I dont know where to put this post, admins if you found it placed wrongly, please put it in right section. My apologies for putting it in this section.
My brother got married 9 years back.After wedding my so called sil started parting from my family except my brother. My mom is an emotional lady. she respected her more than me. But instead of paying back respect my sil started saying that her family is only with her husband, she is only married to her husband not to the whole family and she is not bound to talk with any of her inlaws. We tried a lot but she was quite rigid.Once she said that the day when when shell talk to the family would be her last day. That was the point when we all stopped making any efforts to involve her in family.
Now its been 9 years and she has not talked with any of us. But recently she has started chatting with my dh, my bil and sil. all of a sudden what made her talk with my ils(between she never talks with me, my brother tried on my bday and she threw the phone, next day was my dhs bday and she grabbed the phone forcefully from my bro and wished my dh). Now she specially wakes up till 12 and wishes my bil and sil bdays,festivals etc. This thing is hurting me, if she talks with me regularly then its ok. but if she is bypassing me and talks with my family, should this be fine? Similarly she talks with my moms family and disrespects her in front of her family. My brother interferes everytime but almost everytime it creates a huge fight between them so my mom has now somewhere accepted her abusive words.
I am very confused how to handle this situation.
please help me

indubalram · Nov 6, 2014

Is your SIL mentally stable. Has anybody caste spell on her. Why is she being so weird. I think you need to take her to a doctor or pandit.

Anamika99 · Nov 6, 2014

I think she is planning something, you need to think through what is...you can only tell knowign all dynamics...

She is stable....just very cunning it seems

manisha036 · Nov 6, 2014

I believe she wants to belittle me in front of my ils by not talking with me and becoming extra cordial with them.how can I stop this. Till now I hvnt opened anything about my family in my ils house. She became overly sweet while she talked my Dh. Help me ladies

indubalram · Nov 6, 2014

You tell your husband not to talk to her

blessbabydust · Nov 6, 2014

please chant calmly for 20 mins i love you i am sorry thank you everyday things will get in place

nb25 · Nov 6, 2014

You can't stop her from talking to your relatives. You are the one who will end up looking bad in front of ILs. She will win, without doing any thing.

At most, you can ask your DH not to talk to her. Just tell ILs that she is a weird lady, who has the most outrageous ideas, of not respecting MIL, SIL, DH, or any other relations from DH's family. That is why DH and you avoid her, as you think it is not right to disrespect ILs. Let her bad behavior towards your mother be known. If they continue to associate with her, let them. There is not much you can do.

Also, confront SIL, and ask her not to contact your ILs. Say that if she is looking for closeness, she can start with her ILs, and leave alone their relatives. Say it in front of your brother. But don't involve him, as it can strain his relationship further.

If she does not stop, then get to know her relatives well, and tell them how badly she is behaving.

DKI · Nov 6, 2014

The first place to start would be getting the support of your DH. He would obviously know how she treats you. Next time she tries to talk to him, he needs to support you and tell her straight up that since she has never spoken to you, she cannot speak to him either.

But on top of all this, your SIL sounds a little psychotic. She needs help.

memeera1234 · Nov 6, 2014

No offence...But I feel your SIL is the attention-craver types..she wants to hog the limelight always..like other IL's said, take your DH into confidence and ask him to make it clear that he is interested in interaction only if she is cordial to you too..

manisha036 · Nov 7, 2014

Hi frens
It would be difficult for me to take my dh in confidence. My ils are quite intelligent and cunning in handling the relations. Dh is a typical mommas boy. The first thing he ll do is to tell his mom about what all is going in my house. What do you all think.
Whats the bets way to converse with dh regarding this.