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Should I stop giving financial support?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by pinktulip2k, Dec 27, 2015.

  1. pinktulip2k

    pinktulip2k Junior IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,

    My dad has retired. However he is working in cousins business and gets some lumpsum amount every few months. I have been giving them monthly 30,000 Rs because my parents don't have enough savings nor their own house. Recently I notice change in their behaviour. Feels like they don't understand the reality and are showering my brother with expensive things like iPhone which I think is a luxury for him at this age when he still in college. My mom seems to be supporting him too much. I feel like am being emotionally bullied :(
     
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  2. aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    It depends:

    1) Do your parents really need the Rs. 30,000 for their day-to-day and monthly expenses? What impact, if any, will it have if you withdraw this financial support either partly or entirely.

    2) Did they ask you to support them financially?

    3) Your current status - studied, working, independent, married, children, etc. Your current financial needs.

    Unless someone has asked you to help them financially temporarily or permanently and unless you have a lot of money to donate, better to be careful when mixing financial transactions with close family members and relatives. Can lead to lots of misunderstandings and problems down the line. Also, better to save your money for some really important financial needs in the future such as exorbitant medical expenses. It encourages everyone to live frugally and wisely on a month-to-month basis and not indulge or splurge beyond their budget.
     
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  3. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    When you give something to someone, you must forget about it at the moment you hand over it to them. You should not expect anything from them.

    Yes. They are old and have no income. But they may not want their son to be feel inferior compare to others. As I see he is still in college and parents are old. So they may pamper him more. However, you should not comment on such matters. If you wish/concern your parents happiness, please remain quiet.

    But being a elder sister, you can warn your parents ''not to spoil'' your brother by giving expensive gadgets etc. So you raise your concern and share it along with your parents. That could be justified. Too much pampering may spoil your brother's character and his career, especially if he is not feeling responsible at his age.
     
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  4. pinktulip2k

    pinktulip2k Junior IL'ite

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    Thanks! Actually what you guys say is correct. In the beginning I started giving money without them asking n now that they spend lavishly, my eyes are itching. It's my ego that's making me loose my mind. I am going to stay away from their finance. In future give money only when asked for otherwise I will only give what I have been already. Without being able to decide for myself, I keep on talking to my hubby and make him also loose his patience. I guess I will learn to handle diplomatically by myself. Thanks ladies..
     
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  5. pinktulip2k

    pinktulip2k Junior IL'ite

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    I must not expect anything in return
     

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