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Should I feel guilty for the rest of my life if we decide to have only one kid !!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by anutt, May 31, 2015.

  1. anutt

    anutt Bronze IL'ite

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    hello ladies,

    There was a time when i thought we cod have a second kid. But offlate i am just not able to manage my only child... No maid as i am a homemaker and we r trying to keep expenses at bay. Meanwhile can not depend that parents n inlaws wil come n help as they r not in grt health. can a single person (that is the mother) alone raise both the children by herself without depending on anyone (husband mostly on travel)... If yes please tell me how do to .. i am just so exhauseted... am kind of ok with one kid..husband is not very particular abt anything..choice is mine... but i feel guilty when i see other families with two kids. i am not a lazy person, i cook 3 home made meals everyday, spend time with dd, read stories etc house work etc..hardly watch tv ... can i do this for another kid without depending on husband,parents,inlaws, maid, nanny etc?

    i dont know.. i am sometimes depressed thinking that after twenty years, i wil realise that i have been selfish n deined my dd her joy of bro/sis...

    please tell me your experiences...
     
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  2. azalea

    azalea Silver IL'ite

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    anutt,

    If you ask people what they regret most, they will mostly tell you that they regret "not doing" things. Nobody has regretted having "done" things. I do not know you and even if I had, it is hard to say what you will regret after twenty years. This is a call for you to make. But I will say one thing. Every thing seems hard when you think about it. But once you are into the problem, you will come up with solutions that work for you. As an example, think of when you first learnt to ride a bicycle. I am sure it must have been hard - to balance and pedal at once. But you managed to find a way to do it, right? it holds true for most of our lives.

    Hope this helps.
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....how old is your DD? If she is very young...then give yourself time .Just enjoy her childhood for now and don't stress. Once you have your life under control and don't feel so overwhelmed by the daily struggles of life,you can think about it.

    Either way...no need to feel guilty.There are enough people who have a happy single child.Besides there are no guarantees in life.There are enough siblings who do not even talk to each other over issues later on in life.

    The other side of the coin is that...having a sibling does mean your child has company at home both physically and emotionally.

    Does your DD have cousins ?
     
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  4. anutt

    anutt Bronze IL'ite

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    thanks for your replies dear friends..my dd is 4.5 yrs ..yes she has cousins ... i honestly try to take her to nearby park everyday so tat she gets to interact with other kids and when we come back ...she is tired so dinner n then sleep ..the point i am trying to make, i make sure she has activities n does not get bored....
     
  5. anutt

    anutt Bronze IL'ite

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    do u need a husbands help when u raise two children... i am managing my dd on my own as in what i mean is husband always on travel...so i have gotten used to do doing things all by myself..but my worry is with the second one...no question of husband pitching in and all...its the same job profile so on travel...
     
  6. malinisarovar

    malinisarovar Silver IL'ite

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    It is your choice. There is nothing great about the number or gender of the kids you have. What matters is the kind of individual they grow up as. Lot of thoughts are burdened into people's mind by the people around them or the society. If there is a family with two kids, if one is a boy and the other one is a girl then the entire world thinks that their life is fulfilled. I just hate such preconceived notions. So, it just comes down to your preference. I have seen kids without a sibling being so happy about it. I have seen kids with siblings so notorious without any human concerns or emotions for the rest of the world. There is noting like one fits all.
     
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