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Should I Entertain?

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by paru123, Jun 2, 2022.

  1. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    A cousin of mine recently lost his job. He lives abroad and I and my parents get to meet him very less, whenever we visit our native place and if he is also on vacation at that time. This guy is unmarried and drinks a lot. Though he drinks a lot , he is a favourite for all in native place and he has the whole of the village as his friends all the time. Now this fellow I have observed a pattern in his behavior, whenever he is in trouble or he is upset about any other cousins behaviour he would call me and my parents and speak for hours. If he is having a good time, no calls. He loses his job many a times because of his drinking. And through his friends and well wishers manages to get a job very quickly.
    Last time he got a good job with benefits n all. There was no calls from him after that. In fact even when he came to India on vacation, he called us once. Since I was busy I called him later. But then he didnt take the call as he was obviously busy with his friends. Again before he was leaving India, we called him but he didnt care to talk much and we just talked with his parents n stopped the call.
    Now that he has lost his job, he keeps on calling us. I didnt take his call once but then he left a message and then I called and he spoke for hours saying that he lost his job and going back to old things, etc. I told him it's ok, dont despair and keep hunting for new job. He was drunk as usual.
    Now after that day, again he keeps calling. I didn't take the call.
    I really dont feel like talking to him as he didnt care to make a phone call to us. His friends were important to him. Now that he is having a bad time why he has to call and speak to us and spoil our mood.
    Would you entertain such calls?
     
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  2. maalti

    maalti Gold IL'ite

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    You can tell him openly that he wants to share only his grievances but not his happiness and also make it clear to him that grievances reduce to half if shared and happiness doubles if shared. Since he is not prepared to share his happiness, you can very well tell him that you are not prepared to listen to him if he wants to share his difficulty alone.
     
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  3. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Finest Post Winner

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    Dont entertain. That's all. Let the phone ring. After few days, he will understand and reduce it himself. Wean him off from calling you during his bad days. On good days anyways he has weaned you off!
     

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