Should I confront now??

My one line answer is : YES you got to confront BUT BUT not in front of your SIL. Shout out your anger , cry out your pain/ feelings and all to your dear brother alone in privacy. This will lighten your stress.
IF your brother is keen in maintaining the relationship with you , he should understand your feelings and henceforth behave accordingly.

If SIL can disturb your life so much then she has finally succeeded in what she wanted.

TO IGNORE IS THE BEST PUNISHMENT if at all he is not understanding your feelings even after your talk with him.

Cool down and Cheer up

 

Yes rihana is right! My MIL two years back fought terribly with my hubby and called me baddest names, when all the time I was in the next room. She fought and said the meanest words and expressed how much she hates me! But after one year of silence and avoiding her, she and my FIL still continue to come to our house. And though my blood boiled at that time, i have found that trying to seek justice at past follies is not possible. rather I maintain a distance and am just civil, mind my buisness! But I also assert whenever I feel that she is walking all over me. But I try to keep my voice calm! I sought Indus ladies' advise on how to tackle the problem and am really happy with the wonderful advises they gave me.

Avoid confronting them and all that! Treat them as if you are handling a bunch of KG children! You will find the situation funny and easy to manage! Stop thinking on this petty matter and have fun with your life! Good luck! :thumbsup

 

I am sure you had sweet relations with your brother before his marriage. And also that he must know what you are , more than what your SIL knows you. No doubt he knows your SIL too. But when such topics come, instead of thinking wisely and trying to trace facts, he blindly believes what your SIL says,and also shouts and misbehaves with you, which is so ridiculous though normal in most cases.

It is quite normal to say a sorry without even being at fault for the sake of the brother or may be to keep a peaceful atmosphere. But when do you have to say sorry- only when you are either misunderstood and not allowed to speak or, when you try to explain, the other person does not want to understand. So it is Ok if you say sorry once or may be twice. If the other person is wise, he/ or she will understand what went wrong and would regret for a wrong reaction of theirs. But if that does not happen, then you must understand that you need to draw a line to limit your closeness. If you keep telling sorry again and again , you will be taken for granted, and that is probably one of the things happened in your case. Your Brother and SIL are so confident of your good behaviour towards them that they made a self invitation to your home and expect the same behaviour from you as though nothing happened before.

If at all they had shown signs of regretting for what they had done earlier, things could have slowly become normal. But you say no such signs, so you need to think of how much you wish to maintain with them. This again depends on how much one can tolerate- differs from person to person.

In any case, always remember that whether the relations are back to normal or not, stand by them whenever they really need you.

I do not see any reason for confronting because, you will get all the tensions and spoil your own mood. I think the people of your SIL's kind would hardly understand what others tell. They can only understand what they think would do good for them or what serves their purpose. Why spoil your peace? Try to maintain a distance.

 

If you think that you cannot handle your problem of getting panic:shaking:, its better NOT to confront them (in the way they did to you) but make sure to lessen contact with them and from time to time whenever you get oppurtunity, give your brother (dont address your SIL directly... she knows how to handle you and ur brother :rant) pieces of what you wanted to say...that will atleast leave you in peace and makes ur brother accept the reality.
It clearly shows that ur SIL nags alot to ur brother and he also gets panic like u... thats why, to avoid her further nagging, hez confronting u! And if they again complain about something, just say that that is the way you speak or do, if they like it then fine; if not then they dont need to spoil their holidays spending with u!
And you know what, take my word... learn breathing exercises... it wont hurt you and will help you in any small or big panic/tense situation by relaxing you mind.Chillout!