Shocked!!!

Hi memyself,
The incident was telecasted for two days on SUN TV News as well as published in daily Newspaper.Actually before getting married to a person outside or seeking an alliance who is working abroad,one must gather information and make sure that the person is the right one to get married which many people fail to do so.Yesterday the recorded statement of the girl was telecasted.She is not even able to speak and she spoke in a broken voice.She said that her husband and In laws tortured horribly to the core.I wonder that how come in United states where there are strict rules and regulations even for rash driving,public nuisance ,hitting the callinh bell etc could such a horrible incdent take place?Whether rules and regulations will work out only for small things?(sorry for asking such a direct question).we cannot blame any one .Only the concerned person must be safe and cautious.She should atleast woke up after discovering her husband's horrible nature.All those are signals of alarm.The saying that "Charity begins at home" is true for all cases.Unless every individual is brought up with good discipline and culture,the situation continues.

 

In the US, people live isolated lives. We do not know who is living in the apartment next door nor what is happening inside. If we get to meet someone on our way a "hi" or "hello" is exchanged. Some Indians do not even exchange a greeting. They turn their faces away when they see a fellow Indian. Residential areas are pretty much quiet and rarely does one see a soul. An ocassional car may zoom in or out. Unlike India where in majority of the cases, we do know our neighbours and have opportunities to mingle with them.

Married women who live in an abusive environment live in fear. There is the fear that they will become a burden to their parents. Guilt that their parents money spent on the wedding will go waste. Fear that people back home in India will look down on them and their family. And some even begin to think that it is okay to be abused. Because the abusive envirnment leaves them with zero or no self-esteem and confidence.

Law enforcement is strict here, but our girls fear to approach them. We had a lady in our community whose husband refused to get her Visa renewed. He refused to get her an air-ticket too. She holds a degree in engineering, but she needed a translator to communicate to the South Asian women's help group. There are umpteen number of women who are BE's and MBA's, but fear chokes them to the point that they cannot even speak. As neighbours all we could do was let her use our telephones and internet. Her father arranged an air-ticket for her through his neighbour's son living in the US.

Also most of these abusive men appear to be very impeccable in their behaviour in public. One can never guess - is this the man who abused his wife?

Girls leaving India after marriage should make it a point to leave a copy of their passports with their parents. Visa and Passport expiry dates should be kept in mind.

 

Dear Friends,
I found this link online of DNA newspaper, who are now alleging that the reason they pushed her out of the car was because she had discovered an incestuous relationship between her husband and his mother. Man this stuff gets more and more pathetic and disgusting.
DNA - India - Husband pushes pregnant wife out of moving car - Daily News & Analysis
I really hope to god this family(boys) is socially outcasted and he suffers some very horrible consequences both jobwise and in personal life. There should be like a blacklist of such Indian families put up online for all parents to go through before they marry off there daughters. Anyways totally true Varloo,why do people marry off there children when already there are warning signs I don't know-really people need to have some self respect.
~ Naazneen

 

Hi,
Went through the above link and mg: wonder what else is going to unfold!
I don't understand...when laws are strict in U.S how cld the guy have escaped!? Cld be cause the lady was in coma they cldnt have got a statement! But her dad cld have filed a case??
He shld be thrown of out of job and his passport seized and straight from his mouth they shld get the statement!!!

We are so emotional and hurt by what has happened and ofcourse many other non-IL also wld have felt the same!
But how do we make them hear us!!??
We can see in many other cases....ppl's reaction was seen via the public forum like Orkut.Here...I wish someone hears us!!!! Don't they have any human activist group in U.S to help the Indians out there??
The Indian police has already said that they can't do anything without getting that guy here in India!!
Hope someone takes him to task at U.S!!

 

Dear Friends, I too was very shocked when i saw the news in Sun TV day before yesterday morning. The news said 52 bones in her body were fractured. How cruel of them to hit a girl who was pregnant. These inhuman beings should be put behind the bars. I hope God gives strength to this girl to come out of the nightmare and teach those idiots a lesson. Parents take some much care of the girl child and bring her up carefully. How they miss out the most important thing. How they get their daughters married to such cruel people without knowing their true colours. Its all fate. Lets all pray for the early recovery of the poor girl.

 

Whether in India or abroad, parents should make detailed enquiries about the boy and his family.If necessary, they should appraoch a secret agent's services for doing this.
Do not believe in what the matrimonial ads and websites say.
Even after doing all this, there is a 10% chance that the boy's behavioural problems, if any, cannot be assessed as they behave normal in the general public!
I came across two such cases recently, one in India and one abroad. In both the cases the girls were brave enough to disclose thier findings to their parents and their parents were also supportive in rescuing their daughters from the hell!
I'm posting this so that parents should realise that their duty does not just end with marrying of their children. They should keep communicating with them on vital issues and t the same time stay away on small & silly issues between the couples.

 

hei al!
ere is some information -
for al those ill treated brides abused and ve come bak after a failed marriage - who r in u.s and who wanna escape out can get in touch wid PCVC.
http://www.pcvconline.org/new_life.htms
http://www.sawnet.org/orgns/pcvc.html
Crime Prevention and Victim Care. Its an NGO based in Chennai - dealin wid counsellin and revivn lives of women who r victims of brutal marriages...

cummon - we r al literate - we can think so much and discuss soo much before buyin a salwar or chosin a brand of lipstick.. wer does our discretion go wen it comes to choosin a groom?
r we dat desperate for money and status of an NRI (parens included) dat how many ever stories like dese doesn drive d point into our heads?????
i am still havin girls around me who somehow aspire to settle abroad - and - so wanna marry someone abroad... won u ever THINK, ladies??????????shakehead

 

Dear jayalskshmi,
You are extremely right.You gave a valuable and strong suggestion.There are many detective agencies that have come up.we can approach them if we are in a dilemma on proceeding any marriage alliance.Beyond that as you said it happens that we may not judge the boy's behavior on seeing at once.For people those who are seeking mariage proposals abroad should be more cautious on deciding .Never worry for any delay in marriage alliance as deciding a life partner is deciding one's life.

Good and matured reply.Keep up.