Shocked!!!

Varloo · Nov 19, 2007

Dowry harrasement - to what extent?

Today's main and shocking news in the visual and print media was about a woman harassed for dowry and brought home from US in a bad physical and mental condition.

This girl was married off to a person working in the US as a software prof. It seems that the groom's side had demanded around 7 lakhs as dowry and also it was insisted tht several soveriengs of gold also be given. The girl's side has given around 2 lakhs initially and has promised to pay the remaining 5 lakhs in a time of 3 years.

But after marriage, the girl was harassed by her mil, sil and husband. The parents got an info from the groom some months back that their daughter had met with an accident and was in the hospital.They have rushed to US then and say that she was completely bruised physically and was in a comatose stage. When she regained consciousness, she told that she was pushed out from a moving car by those people.

She was brought back to Chennai in a special Ambulance air craft. She seems to be dazed and shows the V sign to the camera. And she is 7 months pregnant.

It is very pitiable that she had been treated like this in a foreign country, where she could not even get any help.Her husband and in laws should be punished, there is no doubt about this.

But I have a question - why do people proceed with a marriage alliance when the groom's side demand money and gold and other things? They could have said NO then and looked for other alliance. One can know about greedy people when one meets a person , iisn't it?

And why this craze for grooms working abroad? And many people do not reveal about a possible alliance among friends and family in the fear that it may not materialise or someone might snatch the 'catch' from them. They fix the marriage in a hurry and do not enquire enough about the family and the boy.

Why are we still greedy for the wealth of others? Can't the groom and the bride build a home together, rather than getting everything from the girl's father? The educated and modern girls should put their foot down when such alliances are brought.If a well educated girl says that she could earn well and help for the family, that is best.Taking everything from the girl's parents should be considered a shameful practice, the boy is literally bought for the girl.

Most of the parents only see the financial aspect mainly, both girls' and boys'. And everyone aspires for an alliance which is more rich and well to do that themselves - is money the only thing that matters in life?

Please do post your comments. I am much disturbed by the news and could not contain myself.

imemyself · Nov 19, 2007

Hi ILites,
The morning news that I read in today's paper gave me a rude shock!!
It was also telecast in Tamil news channels!!
A lady, 24 yrs old,terribly ill-treated by her hubby and inlaws landed in the chennai airport yday with a paralysed tongue and a paralysed body and the painful part is that ,she is 6 mths pregnant!!!

She got married on Aug 2006 and the so called inhuman husband who works for a major IT firm took her along on his onsite deputation.Later his mother and sister joined him in U.S and then started the worst encounter for that lady.They harrassed her to the extent that when she was 6 months pregnant they pushed her out of a running car!! And she was in coma for 60 days in U.S and her dad had to go and get her back!!
They showed her marriage snap in which she looked so pretty and the recent photo which shows out her hollow cheeks and her eyes looking terrrified!!!

How can ppl be so inhumane!!? I was wondering that when they cld do so much...wldnt she have raised her voice or atleast...when they threw her (with the baby) outside the car and when she was admitted...the police wld have taken her statement right??? But Y is it that those ppl went scot-free???? Does'nt the law there take action against such cases of attempt murder??? I am ignorant abt the law and order there!!!
Or God knows..what situation she was in...that mayb she cldnt even give a statement!!
My heart pained reading that!! Could a mother-in-law and sister-in-law be so bad!? Oh my God,..they are also woman for heaven sake!!!

Sujimallige · Nov 19, 2007

Hello friend,
reading this post makes me v sad.
But I can believe that such people do exist.
But even i am surprised that the culprits have gone scot free.
Because here the law is v strict.If any patient comes in the nurses check her to see if there r any injury marks or anything on the woman's or child's body.
So dont know what has really happened there.
I know,even i feel how can a woman do this to another woman.And these for what reason...just because she married one's son and the others brother.Dont they get married to somebody's son and brothers.

Sriniketan · Nov 19, 2007

Hi,
it is indeed a shocking scene and news.
No idea why these people are like that and to what an extent they could go?

I am thankful for the soul who helped her get out of these people and inform their parents.
this is just like a cinema story.
Truth is stranger than fiction!

sriniketan

Nivedi · Nov 19, 2007

Cruel, barbaric and inhuman people exist in this world wearing the garb of an educated professional. The good samaritan who helped the girl is a Pakistani. He called her parents in India to inform them about the plight of their daughter.

Parents in India have to be very careful when they get their daughters married to someone outside India. They should keep in touch with their daughters constantly. They should give an assurance to their girls that their homes will always be open to them, no matter what. Every parent hopes for the best, but they should prepare their daughters for the worst too.

Always let the girls have a good contact (even a distant relative) in the country where they go to. Give them a list of organisations that they can turn to for help. They should be aware of the addresses and phone numbers of Indian Consulates. Also give them some money for emergency. If there are Indian families around, these young girls should pass on the phone numbers of atleast one such family. More than anything else, marriage can happen anytime. Even with good education and careers, our girls are taught to believe that marriage is everything. The life of our daughters is more valuable and important than a marriage. One does not have to rush to get their girls married. Marriages where money and dowry play the central role are not really safe marriages. But inspite of all the precautions, the sad thing is bad things do happen.

imemyself · Nov 19, 2007

Hi,
Very true Nivedi! When you send a daughter to another country then they should find or establish contacts with ppl or organisations so that if any problem crops up then she gets help!
I thank the Pakistani who informed the girl's parent's on time else I just cannot imagine the plight of the girl!

I hope they book a case against the ppl who have comitted this inhumane act and they shld be paid for the barbaric act they had done!!

Sriniketan · Nov 19, 2007

Thanks Nivedi for the advice you had given in the last para., which everybody should remember, in case if anything happens.

:hatsoffto the Pakistany man, still in this world, good and bad live side by side!

sriniketan

chocolate · Nov 20, 2007

imemyself said: ↑

Hi ILites,
The morning news that I read in today's paper gave me a rude shock!!
It was also telecast in Tamil news channels!!
A lady, 24 yrs old,terribly ill-treated by her hubby and inlaws landed in the chennai airport yday with a paralysed tongue and a paralysed body and the painful part is that ,she is 6 mths pregnant!!!

She got married on Aug 2007 and the so called inhuman husband who works for a major IT firm took her along on his onsite deputation.Later his mother and sister joined him in U.S and then started the worst encounter for that lady.They harrassed her to the extent that when she was 6 months pregnant they pushed her out of a running car!! And she was in coma for 60 days in U.S and her dad had to go and get her back!!
They showed her marriage snap in which she looked so pretty and the recent photo which shows out her hollow cheeks and her eyes looking terrrified!!!

How can ppl be so inhumane!!? I was wondering that when they cld do so much...wldnt she have raised her voice or atleast...when they threw her (with the baby) outside the car and when she was admitted...the police wld have taken her statement right??? But Y is it that those ppl went scot-free???? Does'nt the law there take action against such cases of attempt murder??? I am ignorant abt the law and order there!!!
Or God knows..what situation she was in...that mayb she cldnt even give a statement!!
My heart pained reading that!! Could a mother-in-law and sister-in-law be so bad!? Oh my God,..they are also woman for heaven sake!!!
Click to expand...

Its really really sad. What was the husband doing when his sister and mother were harassing the poor woman. MIL and SIL acting like that is not new. But the husband of all people should be punished for this. And even SIL and MIL. Some legal action should be taken to stop this abuse. in laws should be punished for their deeds. How is the woman now?Is she in Chennai?

Sujimallige · Nov 20, 2007

Choclate,
If u visit timesof india on line there they have a small article on this issue in the section of indians abroad.But it does not give any details as to how she is now or what legal action is being taken against her in laws.
Hope she gets justice.

Tamildownunder · Nov 20, 2007

It is shocking to read such stories. My sympathies with the girl and pray to God that those who are responsible for her plight should be brought to book so that it will serve as a lesson to others.

One thing is puzzling. You have mentioned that they got married in August 2007 and she is 6 months pregnant. How is it possible unless they had pre-marital sex?.