When you go to a restaurant with friends/family , (family is extended like siblings,cousins etc ,not with spouse and kids) Do you 1) Share the bill amount equally? 2) Do you only pay for what you eat ? 3) if others take alcohol and non vegetarian food and you are a non alcoholic person and take only veg food, do you share the bill equally in this case too or insist on paying for what you ate? Just trying to understand what IL friends do. Didn't have a very pleasant experience recently. What I do is : Whether I take alcohol or not I'm ready to share the bill amount equally and always insist on the same unless the person who takes alcohol insists specifically that he will pay for his drink. If you choose to not pay do you intimate the group before? Or wait until someone in the group sends you your share of the bill and you tell "since I didn't take alcohol or non vegetarian food, I'm not paying for it ".
With relatives..we go out rarely so usually my husband offers and pays and they refuse but we still go ahead. Sometimes they pay or we Dutch.since it is not so often I don’t care.plus I don’t mingle with them too much anymore.
With my brother it’s always a fight for who can grab the check first. He usually won’t let me pay. For our parents we always pay. Most of my cousins are quite a bit older than me so on the rare occasions we meet and go out they insist on paying. We don’t go out much these days but with close friends we either split the check evenly or take turns picking up the tab. For large groups I ask for a separate check and at bars we will open our own tabs. That way I don’t have to worry about over or underpaying.
With friends that we meet regularly, we take turns or split the bill equally when we sit and order, dine. On occasion, one will remark that they ordered more and should pay more, but we end up splitting the cost equally anyway. If I feel that we ordered way more, then I say that I will take care of the tip, and I do that with cash. If it is a place where we order at a counter, each pays for what they order. Sometimes we ended up feeling that we paid more than we should have. In such case, it was not the money that mattered, more that the other person had not even offered to pay more. The rankling lasts till only a few minutes after we say bye. : ) One thing I have learned is to settle all accounts at the table itself or maximum in the parking lot. The most annoying experience I have is with friends who even it is just two of meeting, they will tell the waiter at the start itself that we will be paying separately. It sucks the very joy out of eating for me. If we order desserts at the end, she will again make it clear which item goes on which bill. It will be just her and me, but she will want to pay exactly for what she has. : ) Another irritating one is who insists on tipping only 10%, maximum 15%. I tip higher. With her, I leave some cash on the table while leaving without her seeing it.
If the meetings are more often with friends then we share.With family and siblings(this occurs rarely) I like to pay fully.
I often go out to eat with close family relatives like my siblings & their family. So, some of us offer to pay, but never shared the bill. It is either me or my brother or sister. But mostly between myself & brother as we are the ones who initiate the eat-out plan, and chose the restaurant. It just happens spontaneously! With friends, of course of special occasions like birthday parties, or treats, then the person who invites or initiates offers to pay the bill. I would offer to share the cost, but mostly they reject the idea and pay it. But, some do accept. With friends/colleagues on casual eating out, like non-planned ones, we share the bill. Just share the cost equally without looking into the items, unless someone has ordered something super expensive while the other one just had a cup of tea. Then, of course the one who took the expensive item would offer to pay for all, or at least for his share. I have never experienced problems with eating out with different folks.
It is never a problem if they are “really friends”. We usually divide equally no matter what we eat.Sometimes one person eats more other times it is less..but we are okay with it. Sometimes we also treat each other without expectations.
Just perfect same with my brother too.We fight over who pays.Good siblings and relationships are a blessing.
With his family, DH always pays... With my parents and brothers, dad or brothers pay if DH is not present or fighting over it.... With DH's classmates/friends, we meet as a family, so the guys take over and fight to pay and we ladies don't need to bother our "pretty little heads" about the bills... It is only when us girls meet, then we just divide it up into equal parts, no counting who ate what! I do have rare lunches (once in 8-10 months) with close friends who order hard drinks - I have been shocked at the amounts when hard drinks are involved - but have paid up my share without commenting - but if it was a more regular affair, I might suggest the meetings at home (they could bring their own drinks) HR
