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Sharing my 2cents (from my own experiences)

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by tulipzz, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. Jul 8, 2010 #21
    compassionasder

    compassionasder New IL'ite

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    noting down good points
     
    compassionasder, Jul 8, 2010
    compassionasder, Jul 8, 2010
    #21
  2. Jul 8, 2010 #22
    rosegirl

    rosegirl Bronze IL'ite

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    Great tips girl .... loved each one of them
     
    rosegirl, Jul 8, 2010
    rosegirl, Jul 8, 2010
    #22
  3. Jul 8, 2010 #23
    Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Thats a rather dumb generalization from tulipz. If we extrapolate examples like the way you did, then one can easily call women as dumb too. I dont know how that helps though.

    Its more constructive to leave out generalizations and focus on positive ways to enhance the relationship. I do appreciate some of the points you have listed out in this thread, there are other points I disagree on, will elaborate later perhaps.
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2010
    Spiderman1, Jul 8, 2010
    Spiderman1, Jul 8, 2010
    #23
  4. Jul 8, 2010 #24
    iamsudha

    iamsudha Senior IL'ite

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    :) LOL.

    Same thing happens to me a lot esp around PMS time. I admire at their ability to completely tune you out! I am actually thankful that they are thick skinned in those aspects otherwise there is just too much sensitivity around!
     
    iamsudha, Jul 8, 2010
    iamsudha, Jul 8, 2010
    #24
  5. Jul 10, 2010 #25
    nebpharm

    nebpharm Bronze IL'ite

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    Men are dumb. They need time to process infomation and analyse.

    Give the dumb thing some time to think and process.

    - just loved the above points , he he he!!:biglaugh
     
    nebpharm, Jul 10, 2010
    nebpharm, Jul 10, 2010
    #25
  6. Jul 14, 2010 #26
    ChillPill

    ChillPill Junior IL'ite

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    thnks for such a useful bunch of advices dear...
    would use them and let you knw the outcome :thumbsup
     
    ChillPill, Jul 14, 2010
    ChillPill, Jul 14, 2010
    #26
  7. Aug 1, 2010 #27
    tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Here are some more points. I learnt them during my recent India trip (btw, the trip went fine except for minor things MIL tried to create)

    1. When MIL tries to create differences between u and DH, never fight with DH about it. Its gr8 if DH ignores it. If DH is dumb enough to pick up a fight or shout at you, keep quiet and act in front of MIL as though you both are madly in love with eachother and nothing else matters. DONT react.

    2. I know, I know, you feel like slappling anyone who tries to create trouble between u and DH... I found a way to do it. This time during my India trip, MIL tried to create a mess between us. DH was good enough to tell me about it. I handled it straight with MIL. I asked her directly "why are you doing this"...she was caught with no answer. So, she did the mistake I wanted her to do. Push the blame on some relative :) .She said "I didnt tell your DH, XYZ relative told him". thats it. I took it from there. I gave soo many gaalis in the name of that relative sometimes even forcing MIL to give gaalis. MIL asked me not to discuss this with XYZ relative and I said ok. I also told her that if this repeats, I am going to blast that relative. I dont think it'll happen again after all the gaalis I gave :thumbsup

    3. I've forgiven (about 90%) my inlaws for whatever crap they gave me. It made my mind feel better and I feel easy now. Lets see how it goes.

    4. One of my maamas (mom's brother) gave me a wonderful 'gyan' session when I met him. One point I particularly liked in what he told me is "if someone asks you what is the world's population, your answer should be : 3 ( Me, my DH and baby. )
    Yes, learn to be selfish. Your priority should be to be happy and make your DH and baby happy. Why should you waste the best time of your life fighting over what MIL said or did??

    If someone is giving you BULL****, best thing to do is - ignore it. React only iff necessary.
     
    tulipzz, Aug 1, 2010
    tulipzz, Aug 1, 2010
    #27
  8. Aug 2, 2010 #28
    DrKadambari

    DrKadambari Gold IL'ite

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    Welcome back... good to know that your trip went well.

    You know what, I happened to think of you today if you were back or not. Then thought might be its not yet 2 weeks that you left to India.

    Nice pointers gal...
     
    DrKadambari, Aug 2, 2010
    DrKadambari, Aug 2, 2010
    #28
  9. Aug 2, 2010 #29
    brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    Sure SHot Dear...Never ever complain about your ILs to your DH. If you do so,Thats the first step you take to Ruin your own Life...

    Also i would like to add one more point

    Dont ever think like "I was brought up like that...But my MILAW is like this...etc"

    If you cannot change your 25 year old Behaviour, you definitely cannot expect to change 50 year old MIL behaviour....

    I recently attended a session on "Power of Mind"..There the Instructor very clearly defined a person as "Someone who comes with a Baggage.Neither you can change his Baggage nor you can ask him/her to throw it out . So if you need that person you definitley need to accept the person with the Baggage and the Baggage is nothing but his Character/Brought Up/Thinking etc".So start accepting people with their Flaws...After all you are not Flawless
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2010
    brahan, Aug 2, 2010
    brahan, Aug 2, 2010
    #29
  10. Aug 6, 2010 #30
    tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Yep, the trip was better than I thought it would be. Can you believe it? MIL started creating problems even in our short trip (Dh 10 days, me 20 days)... that lady will never change. I stopped expecting her to change and my life became peaceful. Also, I dont hate her anymore. I just dont care. 'MIL' doesnt exist in 'my world'...
     
    tulipzz, Aug 6, 2010
    tulipzz, Aug 6, 2010
    #30
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