Yes you are right. I have the patience but not as much as your generation had. I do ignore many things but still get hyper in some. I did suffer a lot with his attitude. We have two kids with only one and half year difference. I managed their upbringing with other house works with very less support from him. Still I managed. Used to cry lots of times but never left any responsibility. In that condition too if I said something that became his ego issues and told me that I am showing disrespect. I don't want the argument but still many times it happens as I get so much irritated. Don't know how to avoid it more and to handle everything without getting worried about his behaviour. How you used to do this?
Hi Monika, happy new year to you. This is such a nice thread. I don't know if I have learnt my lessons correctly. That's why didn't reply. Anyways if I have to mention I would say 1) we need not react to everything and sometimes closure is not possible for all the things, trying to reason out why things turn out the way they did despite our best intentions and efforts may not turn futile always. It only drains us mentally and in turn physically. 2) forgive only when you want to and not when you need to. Sometimes forgiving some people will be the worst decision of our life. They only get more power to hurt us again that too very badly. That time we would be so angry on ourselves that how can we be such fools. Sometimes I get confused what to apply to whom. There are no concrete lessons for every situation. A very happy new year to all the ilites.
Happy New Year to you too. Thanks for your reply. You said very great things that we always forget to follow. I too many times feel while posting am I saying right or wrong. But then I feel let it be anywhere where else in this world will I ever get chance to speak up so much to so many people. I let my feelings flow without concerning much about other persons like or dislike about it. That is the freedom given by virtual world. May be that's why people becoming more addicted to it.
Hi Mounika As a newly married girl i dont know what to advise . But in my experience One day out of frustation i posted my problem in this thread and have heard really valuable suggestions . I was crying badly that day but now things have improved and i am very normal with my husband. I understood sometimes it is very difficult to bare a small issue but trust me things will improve as time passes . I expected a caring husband but now i am some kind of ok with husband who has some anger issues. Every woman and every family has issues. It is not only me having issues. I think being patient is the best answer to marital problems. I am not that patient in my life but when i spoke to my aunt about this she said ignoring such things and being nice to husband will definitely help in future.
Happy New Year to you too. Thanks for your reply. You said very great things that we always forget to follow. I too many times feel while posting am I saying right or wrong. But then I feel let it be anywhere where else in this world will I ever get chance to speak up so much to so many people. I let my feelings flow without concerning much about other persons like or dislike about it. That is the freedom given by virtual world. May be that's why people becoming more addicted to it. Very true. Old generation had lots of patience. Don't know how they managed so much. I too have it but it came after lots of disturbances. I too had anger issues and used to get mad with anger. But slowly I worked on it as I myself wanted to come out of it. Anger destroys many things and after sometime you are left with guilty of showing it and ego of not accepting it. Nothing fruitful comes out.
Thanks dear for sharing your experience to us. Why you don't worth it. You only said believe in yourself. You have learned and following many things that helped you to live a more peaceful life. It will help us too if we are able to adopt some. Thank you happy new year.
@Thyagarajan ji no one can hide behind after liking this thread. We all are looking forward for your valuable feedback. You must have many please share some of the experiences to us. Waiting for your reply.
Of course you are right. Let me try to say something about sharing experiences before I attempt to share my experience in certain spheres. There are three categories: one you can never share with anyone including your spouse 2. you can share your experience only with select few when they are receptive indeed. 3. you can share with all including in public domain. sharing experience in public domain sometimes leads to skirmishes. sharing experience with confidants are useful and they may immediately come with parallel fables which may or may not influence you. 4. some of my threads posted under non fiction snippet category themselves are nothing less than sharing my bitter or rejoicing experience. I have covered life threatening situation and how every time I was saved by either skin of my teeth or Providence. While sharing experience with others especially acquaintances , it is better to go slow as in journeys with fellow passengers and as in family circles kins. It is better to open up buttons slowly one by one. 5. numerous experiences published or told in media during great deluges, tsunami gives hope to humanity that humans survive despite sever blows and anguish unleashed by Mother Nature when the humans involve in plundering her. 6. In the name of sharing experience, we can not put the listener who may be pretending, into boredom and he may decide not to meet. sometime by listening to parallel anecdotes would lead one to curse himself or herself for the way he or she was caught in. 7. from cradle to grave every one has to struggle. even those born with silver spoon in their mouth too would have some kind of struggle. 8. My mother suggested to another lady who during her every visit complaint about her DIL, that she should daily keep aside a moment only to worry and finish with worrying during that time and afterwards seek happiness. indiscriminate worrying affects health. 9. you can enlarge your friend's circle by sharing experience but done in discreet manner. Happiness is only state of mind and if you are determined to be happy none can spoil it. There is always some learning in listening to elders and even to young ones. since you insisted, I had come out with my views although I am razing with high intermittent temperature. Regards.
Thank you for your response. You are a great writer and have so much experience of life still no ego and so down to earth. How you manage to be like this. Please share your daily menu so that everyone of us can follow and become a little like you. Thank you very much. I really like the way you present yourself and feel lots of respect for you.
