Dear ILITES... Let's share our jokes here... Here it goes.. A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for admission. The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, "Name the famous ship that was sunk by an iceberg?" "Phew, that one's easy," says the teacher, "The Titanic." "Alright," said St. Peter, "you may pass." Then the thief got his question: "How many died on the Titanic?" The thief replied, "That's a toughie, but fortunately I saw the movie. The answer is 1500 people." And so he passed through. Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his question: "Name them". Deepali
next one... Low self-esteem A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
Sardarji in Cybercafe Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait .As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched. The man typed his password and was waiting when sardarji cried out "Yes yes I know your password. I can read your mails now. "Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it". Sardarji replied " Five stars."
That was nice... one more.. Saddam Hussein visits God and asks him: " God, When shall I see the defeat of USA? " God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussein starts crying and goes away. Gen. Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: " God, when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan." God replies:" Son, you will not see it in your lifetime". Hearing this, Gen. Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away. Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:" God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state ?" Hearing this, God starts crying. Laloo is astounded and asks:" God, why are you crying? " God replies:" Son, I will not see it in my lifetime." Another one-- An Interview with Banta Singh ( a happy sardar) *Interview with Banta Singh Interviewer : Give me the opposite words. Banta Singh : Ok Interviewer : Made in India Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up Banta Singh : Bad.... Put it Down Interviewer : Maxi Mum Banta Singh : Mini Dad Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat Banta Singh : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat Interviewer : I say you get out! Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in Interviewer : I reject you! Banta Singh : You Appoint me Interviewer : ....!!! Enjoy and keep sharing.. Deepali
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, 'Ryan, you be Jesus !':rotfl
dear girls, the jokes are very nice.Big Laugh:rotfl. for my part i want to write one. The teacher was distributing the answer papers to the students, scolding them for their poor perfomance. he took a paper and called the student,"You got only 8 marks, the student asked "Out of, came the reply,"Pity' WITH LOVE PAD.
From my side "We Haven't Had Any" A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." The manager then drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. "Now, what was it she wanted?" The clerk answered, "Snow." thanks
Hi friends, Your jokes are funny.. Next one - The CEO of a large company was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. A few days later when the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." bonk Enjoy.....
Hi Friends,, Joke for today.... Two men met at a bar and struck up a conversation. After a while one of them said " you think you have family problem? Just listen to mine.... A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson! Also my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. THEN the daughter of my wife, my stepmother had a son. This boy was my half brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half brother! THIS WAS nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also the grandmother! This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife. I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather. AND you think you have family problems??? ". i wldnt wanna be a part of this family,.... for sure. Enjoy... Deepali
Joke for today...... A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time." "That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!'? It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!" The clerk replied, "Your mother said that you would pay for her." Hope you enjoyed....
