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shameless sister-in-law

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ayeshanaaz, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. hemchi

    hemchi Silver IL'ite

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    Well said Diana.
    With you giving the whole picture, I agree with what Ria says and also to Diana.
    A Bahu has to make the environment good...but not at the cost of being exploited. Here its a clear indication that the sil is exploiting the good nature of her brother and bhabhi.

    Do take care and keep us updated!
     
  2. rr99

    rr99 Senior IL'ite

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    Dont know if my post will yield a solution, but how about, ignoring your SIL, Just be indifferent to her, look at her & her kid like a piece of junk furniture, be extremely business like with her, If you're running errands & she needs something, Make sure she reimburses you before hand, Or else immediately after, other wise, make it a point to indicate she's free loading ( nastier if done in the presence of a 3rd person)

    if your MIL tries to intervene shrug yr shoulders, ignore her needs & those of her kid, make sure you buy stuff ONLY for your husband, kid & MILs needs, maybe that will send a message?? Dunno...
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2009
  3. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear rr99,


    What sort of an advice is this ??? I am sorry but I was really appalled to read your statement "look at her & her kid like a piece of junk furniture,". I can understand ayeshanaaz anger towards her SIL but why punish the innocent child. I am really appalled by your attitude. We should never bring children into family politics. That is the worst example you can set to your own child. Before being a good wife, DIL, daughter etc its important to first learn to be a good human being. That is the fundamental basis for building a strong home.

    Thanks,
    Kavya
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2009
  4. ennaye

    ennaye Silver IL'ite

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    This is a situation where you have to make use of a surrogate.

    Obviously , you or your husband have a delicate relationship with your unwanted guests.

    Have a mutually known person who is close to your family suggest to them that they should stay in their own house ,as tactfully as possible.

    This way you do not get any blame and your work gets done through someone else.
     
  5. reshmirn

    reshmirn Bronze IL'ite

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    I see Ayesha's post was dated 2007. Guess whats happening at present.. :spin
    Hope everything is alright with her family and don't need any more advises in this regard.
     
  6. infinitehopes

    infinitehopes Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey Reshmi,
    I was about to write ditto ! :)
     
  7. diya123

    diya123 New IL'ite

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    I have a sil just like yours only difference is she stays at my in-laws place 24/7, she had came here for her first delivery and now she settled next road from my in-laws place itself. My mil packs her breakfast, lunch, dinner every single day, my sil does not even look after her son , she locks him on balcony so my mil takes care or her son as well. Now my sil even has second child. She is just like your sil , shameless creature on earth and does not even give bath to her kids. Her husband does not earn and everything is taken care by my hubby. And on top of it she picks up topics to fight with me, thats the only job she does.
     
  8. Malyatha

    Malyatha Gold IL'ite

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    I can understand your anger at your husband having to pay for her family. I also understand your irritation at her trying to pick fight with you all the time - that would PISS me off, too!

    But I really fail to see why you have a problem with your MIL helping your SIL in any way possible, including helping her with her kids. I just don't. It's none of your business, really. Mothers and daughters are USUALLY close - it is how it is, and who are we to say our MILs should have nothing do with their daughters? After all, aren't you close to your own mother and wouldn't you welcome her assistance as much as possible?

    I also object to someone else's posting, urging the OP to treat her SIL's child as 'junk furniture'. Please, ladies, let's not victimize innocent children due to our own issues with their parents. Leave kids out of it - I wouldn't want my children being picked on by my SILs and I wouldn't pick on theirs. I am sure that you wouldn't want your SILs being mean to your own children, would you?

    Just my humble request and $0.02.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  9. rr99

    rr99 Senior IL'ite

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    Kavya,
    Thanks for the FB:

    Perhaps, the words were not well chosen... But the gist of what I meant was not to have it imagined like it wd play out in some trashy Sun TV soap, (as I can imagine it may have sounded like that... EEPS, Sorry:eek:mg:)
    Let me rephrase that :
    Go about your own tasks around the house imagining that pestilential SIL & family is not around, After all you are not obliged to provide for her especially when she has outgrown her welcome. If she expects you to provide, find a way to get it across to her that services dont come free.. Dont interfere with your kids interactions with them, (maybe shd have this clarified earlier),
    Hopefully she has soem dignity to get the message sooner rather than later.
    Remember: It is the duty of the host to make the guest feel at home ( we're all familiar with this half), AND it is the duty of the guest to remember that they are NOT


    ENNAYE:
    Nice suggestion, A surrogate relative, hopefully neutral wd be a great idea!
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  10. diya123

    diya123 New IL'ite

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    My mil praises her daughter after all that she is doing to her, how can you praise a lady who was married and stayed with her in-laws in different city for only 4 months after marriage , moved in with her parents along with her hubby, my co-sister (hubby's brother's wife) cooks and my mil packs food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, including yogurt) and sends to her daughters house, my mil takes care of her childern 24/7 , my sil is 10th std fail does nothing at home,, when she does not cook cant she at least look after her kids and on top of that her hubby shouts at my fil and they just listen to all that.. Would you cook 24/7 and pack and send it to you sil's home ? :idea and when i go there whatever i cook will be packed and top of it we get remarks on salt and spice used in it. My mil tries to give me advice on how many days i should stay at my mom's place, though i dont listen to it. Would you put your kid on open balcony saying he messes up at home ? what kind of mom is she ?

    If you know every detail going on you would realise, the situation better.
     

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