Shall I celebrate the functions?

Discussion in 'Queries on Religion & Spirituality' started by aparnareplies, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. aparnareplies

    aparnareplies New IL'ite

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    Hi ILs

    I have a query. My husband's Grandmother passed away in this year. As per our custom we dont celebrate any function at home for one year (till varushabtheekam). But my MIL says we can celebrate all functions as the grandmother has lived till 89 years and we (Myself & my husband) are only second generation . I celebrated only Varalakshmi Viratham this year. I am still confused if I can celebrate Ganesh Chathurthi, Navarathri etc...

    I love to keep navarathri golu. But these customs are strictly followed in my mother's house and I was brought up like that. So I am hesitant about celebrating it.

    Please give your inputs so that I get convinced to decide on one side.

    Aparna
     
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  2. Carolina

    Carolina New IL'ite

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    Hi aparna,

    Iam in the same situation.We were asked not to celebrate any such festivals for an year and not to visit temples for an year.
     
  3. rsk11584

    rsk11584 Silver IL'ite

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    Usually there is lot of mythology regarding the celebration of festivals and mourning. Like in short look now you have married your husband so your husbands family is your main family. Their sorrow is yours. Another thing is that there is a belief that certain deaths need not be felt sad / or cried upon too much, they mythology behind this is that your grandmother died at a very appropriate age. 89 years, like we have an age for school, college, marriage there comes an age for death too and 89 years is a really good age. Many people see this a a good sign, that instead of living more old and suffering and depending much on others your grandmother passed away quietly to heaven. So many people take this type of death as good. Or it is normal to ACCEPT such deaths and move on in life. So for such deaths which are of time, and natural there is not much restriction on celebration of festivals. But if the death is at very young age, sudden death, accident etc. then its unexpected death, and for such death cases its shock and real mourning is there. But nowaday people even dont care for such deaths.

    So your grandmothers death was all natural and timed death. That is why your mother in law must have asked you to celebrate the festivals, still if you dont feel comfortable then you can refrain from celebrating.
     
  4. radsahana

    radsahana Silver IL'ite

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    hi

    even i agree with RSK, since ur DHs grandma died at old age, you can go ahead and celebrate.

    MY mil infact celebrated all festival same year when my DHs uncle died, (he died arund 74), saying i am new bride, its ok.
     
  5. nityakalyani

    nityakalyani Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Aparna,
    i was also in the same situation as yours. my father did not have sons and i did the karma. through IL - astrological predictions - the consultant told me that we should not observe any rituals/festivals for an year.if we did so then our 3 generations next will have problems. you can visit the temple if you have completed 6 month there also no offerings must be done. you cannot light lamps in the house nor do any colourful rangoli.Hence i would advise wait for an year and follow things in normal way

    nityakalyani
     
  6. nityakalyani

    nityakalyani Gold IL'ite

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    Please remember Aparna- at the end of the day it is your pick/choice
     
  7. shantisubra

    shantisubra Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Aparna

    In my understanding, you should not if it is the same gothra viz., your fil's mother means same gothra and if Mil's mother means different gothra. That means, your DH must have also done the obeisance or oblation on the 10th day, (I am understanding you are a brahmin) for the departed.

    You can visit temple, attend wedding, draw kolams at the altar and in the home entrance, light lamps etc. as these formalities have been done on the 13day subha sweekaram day. But you should not do any archanai or any other type of vows completed at this time.

    But in my understanding, you should observe grief irrespective of the age of the departed, by not observing the festivals. You can do Pillayar poojai with Betel leaves, nut and banana, but not do modhagam etc. on that day, but on a later day. Also should not take oil bath on Diwali day and not wear new clothes on that day, but previous day you can wear. Also for Navrathri, you should not do, but you can do Saraswati poojai again with books, betal leaves, nut and prasad.

    I would suggest you check with your pandit, once again on this. Or if your MiL insists then it is your option.

    Best Regards





     
  8. shantisubra

    shantisubra Gold IL'ite

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    Double post
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2010

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