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sex outside marriage

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by kknew4, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    OP what is stopping u from talking to the wife of the other guy? Get this thing out in the open...
     
  2. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    I read ur post clearly. Mr kknew, Lets consider to forget whatever happened in the past whose fault it is etc. Let us talk about future I feel ur child is 12 yrs old he is attached to both of you. Do u think if u will start living separately ur child will be happy to stay away from you and what do you think what ur wife will do Will she marry that man or she will just carry the status of 'keep' woman. If she will be happy to carry that status then what morals she can teach to ur child if you will leave ur child to stay with her and again what do u think can ur child stay happily with her and without you? If u will bring ur child with you after separation then atleast ur child will have bright future and will raise in good moral values but for this if u are thinking of separation can u able to get custody of child and can ur child be able to stay without his mom? Please think on all of this points.
    If you and ur child both will stay together then it is the best decision to take divorce but if not then think do you really want to go away from both ur wife and ur child ? Will u be able to stay away from them happily?
    I think Mr kknew you should try to convince her that this relationship is not acceptable to me as well as to society. Talk to best marriage counselor and then take her too. First best step from ur child's point of view and for you also that she should stop doing this and that too she should understand that what she is doing is not at all good for her family.
    One more thing if u will file report in police station for adultery case against that man then police will arrest him according to law tell this to both of them that man and ur wife also that if they are not going to end this relationship and if u will ever catch them involved in any contact physical or general chatting on phone etc then I will file report against that man in police station and you can do this whether u will win the case or not thats not the issue but for reputation they both will stop doing this and it will be good for you and ur child then. After that whether to keep distance with her in one roof or should start new fresh life will be ur wish.

    For ur convenience I am posting the following information :
    In Indian law, adultery is defined as sex between a man and a woman without the consent of the woman's husband. The man is prosecutable and can be sentenced for up to five years (even if he himself was unmarried) whereas the married woman cannot be jailed.

    Law of Adultery as it stands in India.

    In India the law of adultery is punishable under section 497 of the IPC, but originally the framers of the code did not make adultery an offence punishable under the Code, it was the Second law commission which after giving mature consideration to the subject, came to the conclusion that it was not advisable to exclude this offence from the Code.
    Section 497 provides : “Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person who is and whom he known or has reason to believe to be the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery, and shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to five years or with fine, or with both. In such a case the wife shall not be punishable as an abettor.
     
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    come on your entire post makes sense....but this is not the way it is supposed to end....

    I mean the wives endure the EMA to see if he changes..but OP has already waited for this long right?

    I would suggest OP to stay away from hsi wife....and even get checked for any STDs.....

    last but not least..just because she hit herself with astone...doesnt mean OP has to do it too i.e EMA real/fake.....eye for an eye is never a solution...

    OP
    Pls consider seeing a therapist so that atleast your anger/pain/insecurity can be addressed...that way you may see more sense and future action plan.....you got to talk to a person face to face, who is ceritified and can help manage pain and insecurity.../(consider your kids future....am sure you dont want your kid to have insecurities of any kind...)
     
    2 people like this.
  4. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    yes u r correct Sri
    I was about to say the same that her post makes sense but this is not the way it is supposed to end.
    You said perfect. I agree with u.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2012
  5. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    Nobody said this is the way it's supposed to end. But given Kknew's lack of interest in fighting back, am suggesting the most practical and easy solution. If you don't like it, that's not my problem.
     
  6. Pranjjal

    Pranjjal Gold IL'ite

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    Why u are cheesed off by our comment? Chill yaar!!!!!!!!! We r not attacking you or ur post. As we already said ur post make sense but felt that like movies it should be sweet end. I feel It's better not to comment on anyone's post some people can't take it +ve ly. :frown:
     
  7. kknew4

    kknew4 New IL'ite

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    you guys helping a lot :) thanks!!
     
  8. indus2

    indus2 Senior IL'ite

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    I am sorry about your situation but do believe that sex and marriage are two different things. If you are religious, read the scriptures etc. and you will notice that EMAs always existed. EMAs dont necessary constitute 'adharma' as per religion. What you really believe you should do to evolve as a human at any point in time, is your dharma. If you really believe that ensuring that your child grows up under both parents is your dharma, it is perfectly ok to not seek a divorce under these circumstances. If I were you, this would be an extremely difficult situation but I wouldnt divorce my wife.

    At the risk of making this sound unreasonable, I think if I were you, I wouldnt have opted for divorce but got into an EMA myself, similar to the one she is having - still stay committed to the marriage, do everything for the home, kid and spouse but find your opportunities to have fun and shamelessly claim to your wife that you will keep doing this.

    If you dont do this and also dont get divorced, your burden of sorrow will keep multiplying over time because it is unbearable to have a cheating wife when you have lived a completely faithful life with the expectation that sexual exclusivity is the be all and end all of marriage.
     
  9. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes JAG, I got the point. It is with reference to his individual unique situation:).
     
  10. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Can u please back that up ?Either quotations or verses from either the epics or the Upanishads which accept EMA as NOT Adharma.

    EMA and polygamy(polyandry) are different.
     

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