sex outside marriage

hi kknew

I can relate to what you are going through. It is even painful that your wife does not seem to be truly remorseful. This aside, it could be disturbing even more if you feel you have done nothing wrong to deserve this. 42, single again, and the love for your child seems to cloud your thoughts. Give yourself some time. If the stress is unmanageable, you could try staying away from your wife for a while and see if you still feel the same way. If you feel you could put this situation behind, give a try to save your marriage. If not there is no point in continuing in a sham marriage. Do not blame yourself.
P.S: If you think 42 is late phase of life, there is may be 30 or more years for you to cross.

 

If you still love your wife Please do marriage counselling asap. That may give you and your wife some insight to fix your marriage Talk to that other man and tell him you will talk to his wife if he doesn't back off...GL

 

I said in my post It's individuals choice whether to forgive or punish. Please read my previous post carefully. My preference is always one should try to solve their problems in most sensible way.
Again don't consider I am promoting EMA's or it fits in my principles but I like to see both sides of coin, don't want to biased or one sided. People generally don't think on their own faults but only happy to blame others and that is not correct.

 

from your post what i understand is that your wife sees these things as normal while it is difficult for you to digest.and her basic nature comes from her mom who also sees EMA's as common thing.call her mom home and talk to both of them and tell them strictly that this is not acceptable.tell her that either she lives with you as faithful wife or just pack her bags and go.i guess her mom also needs a shock treatment only then your wife will come to terms.be strict and show your annoyance only then she will understand.

 

If she is willing to make amends then fine otherwise she can live her life with the man she chooses to, don't get me wrong here but the child should be brought up in a normal, happy home and this is far from it! You cannot hide her actions from the kid for very long!

 

I am personally not convinced about the authenticity of the above claim. Women having sex outside the marriage for 'fun' with other men, without emotional attachment............is an exception, not an usual stuff.

Women do develop Extra Marital Affairs with another man........but that is not surely for 'fun sex' (as the OP said in his post). It is usually for seeking more emotional fulfillment, espcially when she feels the same is grossly lacking with her husband.

 

Such things do happen in families which have loose moral values. It appears that the OPs wife belongs to the above set.Some families have a weird setup where such things are normal.
Some women are open to a relationship sans emotions like some men.
OP you should be more worried about what your kids will imbibe from mother dear. When they come to know(they will one fine day) then what will they learn?
1 Its Ok to have fun outside marrige like Mom
2 Dad is ok with it.
3 Its normal to behave like this.
Children learn values from their parents, what will your kids learn from you and wife?
You should divorce your wife on mutual grounds so that less muck is thrown around. If she disagrees then truth eg. adultery etc is there.
When family matters cross the household then no harm in airing them . Other people may be knowing about it too.
Like the wife is the last person to know about her DHs affairs , similarly the DH is the last to know.
Hopefully your track record is clean and there are no hidden skeletons which DW knows .

 

I agree with you flowerlady. "Some" Women can certainly do that.

But, I personally believe, that "some" would constitute a very very small number, when compared to the vast majority of women, to whom, the very concept of 'sex sans emotional attachment' would be just disgusting.

It may be true, the OP's wife may be one among that rare sub-group of women, who can have sex sans emotional attachment.

 

IG the issue is NOT about how many women do it vs how many men do it and whether the OPs wife is more the exception or the rule
Given OPs wife is doing it what should he do ?

 

swallow ur ego and accept the situation or man up. coming to fun sex(whatever it means), why gender discrimination?