Servant Maid Issues

First of all, I don’t get it why anytime this term maid is used , people start ranting about dignity of labour .Its just a job for them too and those days are long over where maids were only meant for cleaning toilets and being treated with no respect . Barring few households , even in India , maids sit together with the family for lunch and they are treated with enough respect . Many maids have kids who go to private schools with exorbitant fees so it’s a good thing if they are employed .

Let’s face the truth that labor is damn expensive in the US although it’s becoming very common to have a maid for weekend cleaning or gardeners who take care of the yard in many American households .

This discussion has veered towards American vs Indians . When we went travelling in Asia and Middle East , we saw many American / European families employing maids and nannies in their rented place . Same with expats in Delhi who employ an army of maids and nannies . Basic principle of economics says that when the price goes down , people will not a blink an eye to avail its services .
I was reading an article on CNN money about this multi millionaire entrepreneur Robert Herjavec as to why he doesn’t mind spending money on valet parking. . As a kid ,he realized he is not a very “handy “ guy like cutting grass or cleaning the house so he decided to make sure his time is worth more than the money he would pay someone to do those things for him . For him, spending $15 on valet service is worth it, because he can use the time he saves to go out and make more money than he spent. For him and me too , the greatest resource we have is time and we want to make the best use of it .

With both partners working and weekends spent in chauffeuring kids around , it’s fair enough to employ people to do some chores . We work our a$$ off so if we can spend few extra bucks for some basic luxury like employing a maid then why not . It’s just akin to paying for services like anything else in life . It’s one thing knowing how to do everything but it’s even better to prioritize things (family , work , chores ) by employing extra help if need be . The maids are not complaining and they willing show up then why are we raising a huge fuss with this “dignity of labor “.

 

Sunburst,
Read this.
Maid in India: Three reasons why self-help is better than domestic help

Taiwan too was suffering from patriarchy, their lower class content with low wages of service industry. Manufacturing entered due to FDI and those service jobs gradually changed to factory jobs. The economic and education levels of Lower class improved drastically that they want to innovate than just manufacture. If you are suggesting that, By working in middle class homes, vast majority of the poor have raised themselves to be middle class, I would prefer statistical proof than few anecdotes.

Also I prefer a better word than ‘rant’. I am here to discuss like you or like any one here. My opinions might not match with the rest but my opinions won’t become rant just because there is disagreement. I expect that much of decency from educated members here.

 

So lame ! How are we dehumanizing by employing maids ? Like I said , maids should be treated with enough respect and I don’t endorse anyone calling their maids idiots . I don’t think maids in India are made to sit in a corner with her own plate that no one else should touch . We are just segregating our duties by employing someone based on their skillset and paying for their services . It’s what we do at work too .


And for this sweeping commment -“ No Tesla can emerge from a country whose boys have no idea and little interest in how engines work. Or how to make a better solar panel.”

“For generations, people like us have had no experience of any real physical work.Making tools, fixing things, designing things. We have no instinct for these and this is not new”.

As far as I know ( sorry no statistics here ), boys worldwide are known to have keen interest in machines and engines . We have enough skilled workers coming from lower economic strata whose bread and butter is through “making tools , fixing and designing things” so I strongly disagree to the comments above . They just lacked opportunities because of lack of education or just in general how the system works in India

Lack of innovations could be due to real problems plaguing India like rote learning , govt regulations , poor infrastructure, lack of funding for research and most importantly brain drain . That’s a separate discussion altogether ! Got nothing to do with employing maids .

 

To OP,

Revisit each day at the EOD and learn how it could be managed better and use/apply it for next day's planning.
Either for maid / household chores / plannings for next day..
This way we ourself can manage better home.
Reduce stress by skipping daily routine either for a day or for a morning /evening.. spend that time as 'me time'.

1. i used to instruct my maid , but somehow something and in someway she forgets,
I will keep that in mind and when i find free time, i will fix those things and will ask her to keep in that way how i did.

2. Good communication plays a vital role.
we can tell them - let s put in this way and see whether it helps to sort out the problem. if not working then we can change the plan... like that i used to say her - that helped me and she too dint take in offensive way.

3. If anything missed -i tell - its ok to miss. can you do it now. By that way it iwll reduce our burden and we can get it done.

these are my small tips .. lets c whether it helps

 

You have hit the nail on the head. The reason Americans do not employ maids is because it is prohibitively expensive. Yes, there are millions of Indian-Americans who do not employ maids, but these very people as soon as they return back to India immediately employ cooks, maids etc So it has nothing to do with any sort of moral superiority over Indians. It is just basic economics.

And also, It makes no sense to claim that people in a developed country like US work harder than their counterparts in a developing country working in the same "foreign" MNC. It is obvious who has to work harder and compete more.

Ofcourse I still respect @Greenbay's view about dignity of labour. If someone employing maid because they find it "undignified " work to do then that is absolutely wrong. But some people genuinely do not have the time and energy, especially in India due to longer/more difficult workdays and providing care for elderly. So let's stop comparing Americans and Indians as they are completely 2 different contexts.

,

 

@amnilakshmi
Just like any other relationships, this also require our art of balancing.

Try changing your way of communication.
- For some, clear communication works, you don't have to sound angry or masterly.
- Be clear.
- Say 'do this' n 'don't do this'.
- When they try talking about anything unrelated to their work, stop them right there and say you are busy.
- If she persists, say you don't like talking or that it's not her concern.

About hubby, ask him not to talk to them 'at all'. N if your maid tries talking to your hubby, tell him to respond with 'tell her, not me'. N you too be firm about not talking about anything to him.

Other points includes but not limited to,
- smile n be courteous.
- Be kind (it's different from being chatty with them)
- say work in a neutral tone.
- I also address them with full respect regardless of their age
- if something drops n she picks it up for me, I say thank you.
- if she's unwell or has her periods, I ask her to skip half the work.
- understand they are also just human n have their flaws n weakness, n that they will be good at one work n not in another, so it may require some adjustments n blind eye from us too
- understand their leave requirement, either stick to a weekly off or as per their requirement. It's not practical to expect 30-31 days of work from them.
- give them something (money, clothes, gifts) during their festivals.
- share food whenever their's a celebration at our home.
- help with their kids eduction.
- when you don't like something, state it. Similarly, when you like something, state that too.

I imagine our house management similar to an office management. Both has its own set of staffs, raise, perks, monthly offs, bonus, etc. I follow it n my house staff doesn't leave till I have to relocate or they relocate. I also recommend them for new work n leave them with a bonus. It doesn't have to be a lot, but even little little things can make both sides feel good.

 

Yes I don’t know you personally , thank god for that !
Stop making preposterous claims and I promise not to be feisty !

 

These same couples / families who return from US (Indians / Indian Origin) or expats (non Indians) who work here has an army of helpers around them once they move here.

There are atleast 50 US returned families in our residential society, they 'all' have helpers (maids, drivers, car cleaners, gardeners). And all of these people has never had a single helper when they were in the US.

Wonder why don't they just continue managing the same way they did when they were there instead of hiring so many helpers? After all, they did manage on their own there, hmmm.

 

Yeah, why don’t they? I am curious too that once you have managed to do your own work, why go back to rely on external help? Again, aged people, I can understand. But young couple, why?

 

Picture speaks more than 1000 words.

Even in an empty Delhi metro coach, middle-class Indians make their maids sit on the floor