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Sequel To This Thread "jealous Friends!!!"..

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Jul 26, 2016.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Jealous Friends!!!

    A very good thread..

    Everything she had written happened to me too!Infact to the level that I started questioning myself that"If everyone has friends and close and happy,why can't i?"

    My dh has lots of friends and is very social.Infact,we had a minor tiff today regarding friendship.he said"why don't you go and ake your own friends instead of questioning how and why I have so many friends?you want to enjoy,take the bad with the good"
    Isn' t that a big problem with sensitive people?:)

    One example..
    I have a neighbor..the situation with her is weird.
    Day 1 she wanted to become very friendly with me.I take time to warm up and am not toooo social like her rightaway.Hence,she got mad at me and showed me faces when I go for a walk,turns her face and rolls her eyes etc.it hurt a lot.Then to please her,i called her once in a while and went to her home and smiled and made small talk everytime I meet her out.I thought it will make the situation better but she started laughing sarcastically and showed faces yet again.One time she talks well,next time she bitches.Infact,we have a small watsapp group and she forgot i was also there and made a small remark about me in it!every thing i say,she blows it out of propotion.she gets moody one time,next time she is happy,it is too tiring.I get very very annoyed with her but suck it up coz she is a neighbor and everyone seems to like her!(?) It always makes me think how comes the other neighbors are so close to each other?or I feel they are close?

    One thing i have noticed it,in every group there is always some tiff or the other..atleast in most groups but how any woman manage that and tolerate and still have fun?
     
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  2. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Ignore. Avoid. She is never going to consider you as a friend. She will always make fun/ talk sarcastically.
    For some reason, I am a potential candidate for this kind of experience- This has happened to me more than once.

    After analyzing myself and asking my friends what they think. I came to a concluded that- Your neighbor kind of person considers you to be "Hot", "beautiful" or whatever is appealing to them... more or less they seek your friendship to prove that you are their friend.

    When their enthusiasm/ friendship doesn't go as they had expected...

    They can't take it. They are the types with attitude- either have to have it or mock it.

    According to your neighbor- She made an effort to be your friend... You rejected her. (instead of being matured that everyone aren't exactly like her.. people need time to warm up) she has declared a fatwa on you and your friendship-- At least, so were the women who acted like this around me.

    My problem with friend making is-
    I need to make new friends all the time, I am the kind who doesn't share much with new people. I have a good old bunch of college/school friends who know me for a long time. With all new friends, I keep it to the minium... Current topics/ movies/ weather, time pass topics. Never serious things.

    I feel bored actually with new friends. Maybe I have to change it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
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  3. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika, when people meet , tiffs and conflicts are bound to happen....that's how human nature is....now some people cant live with out other people's company,most of the time they are less sensitive and they are better conflict handler at the same time conflict creater too....they enjoy all this drama all along....they dont find it putting off but spicy.....

    now making lots of friend requires lot of time and effort .....every body is not able to put so much of time and effort because every body doesnt need so many friends.....every person is different in nature....but we live in a society where if you genuinely like being alone or want to have just 1-2 friends, is not appreciated.....somehow soceity look down such people as if something is wrong with these people or they are not nice people hence dont want to mingle with others.....
    so people who are introvert in nature are not comfortable with their nature and always wanted to be like people who are having more friends and are popular.....while in reality they dont feel the need of having so many friends hence not able to put the effort and then not able to make many friends. ....then thinking whats wrong with me....
     
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

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    Op, Each person shud be given a chance to warm up to friends. Not rush it becoz the said is impatient. You are not like others and others are not like you. Your neighbor sounds to be the impatient type and wants to fast forward groundwork for friendship. Not to mention the fact that she is a regular troublemaker. Every group has one. Some tolerate it and some oust such people in common circle. Either way you are looking at many such small remarks in future. Don't take it to your heart. If you have very good friends in that friend circle, they will know her small mindedness. Its worth neglecting her behavior. If you are not having good friends in the circle, you can reduce contact gradually and cut that lady off. Either way you need to toughen up to such people. Good Luck.
     

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