Separation Anxiety?

Ramya,

I think yes, I am in the same position. Have to go back to office in a couple of days, so i started leaving LO with the baby sitter along with MIL. He is not at all going to them and always searching me here and there and crying aloud. The moment he see me, he is a happy boy coming to me and playing normally, but not with anyone else. He used to be so good with FIL and MIL, but not now.
Thats y i sent you an email sterday to get some tips from you on this.

 

Ramya, hugs, you are not alone, even am going through this now, its frequent travel in my case. I had been to my parents', in-laws' and BILs' all within 45days. Frequent change of place and new faces has made him a wriggle worm at nights. I co-sleep, hug him tight, very often he wants me to pick him, keep him in my lap or pat him in my shoulders, he dozes off, but i hear him mumbling something and everything starts all over again. DS searches for me even if DH is there.
I believe this is a phase, carry her more often when you are at home, whatever that would sooth her - skin to skin contact-wise, like back rubbing, massage, hugging, holding tight and singing all would comfort them. Slowly they would out grow this too.
Am all ears, write more mommies

PS: Padmini, Ramya, IMO, Every child would go through this phase, irrespective of whether the mom is SAHM or WOHM ) Its the mother's guilt feel, which makes things worse ) This too shall pass.:thumbsup

 

Padmini/Ramya
How about working out something like coming home for lunch till the babies turn 1 year? not sure if its possible with you P. but i assume it should be possible for R. i did talk it out with my management when i got this setup working for my elder one. it could be tedious, but worth it, if possible.

this sleep issue Ramya.. is she overtired? is she able to have her usual naps even without you around?

with both of you, i dont know if its a separation anxiety for the baby or mommy .. in either case, an afternoon lunch together could help.

PS: Ramya - waiting for your reply to my question in 'question on cereals' thread.

 

Asha,

Thanks for your reply. But the problem is i work from OMR and my house is at Kodambakkam, so travelling 13 kms i dont think it is possible. I am trying all ways to get a project in a near by location. But dont know whats going to happen.
Poor LO is always seeing me with sad face and always wants me to be with him.
sometimes i feel like resigning the job and be with him and DH supports me on this. But with ILs i dont think i can make up, thats y i have to go back to work.

 

exactly the same phase I saw until 1.3 yrs back.. yes it happens for many LOs but with working moms, it is always blamed on that fact.. even my mom said, it is because I am away from him all day and in the night he needs my attention.. yes Pon, DS was exactly like V.. he will sleep in my lap or shoulders, then I put him down in few min or 1 hr he will wriggle like a worm and be up for me to carry.. I carry him, pat, sing to him, etc etc.. then he will sleep for another few mins or an hour then the same cycle.. he never used to get tired.. most of the times whe DH turns or opens his eyes, I used to be sitting up trying to make DS sleep.. when I stayed over at mom's house, cousin's place, they used to get alarmed seeing me sit thru the night.. ramya not meaning to scare you.. you already are thru it, so it is only getting worse with you being away.. dont worry while at work because you already plan to spend every single min with her when you are back until next morning.. so all the guilt trip we go thru takes a toll on us, but cannot change our situation.. AND this is worse on Monday mornings ( hugs to you dear.

 

Arthi,

You have picturized exactly the same night schedule that happens at our home. DD is clingy and does not want to sleep during night. More than others I blame myself for being out for work during the day time. She just wants to play the whole night. I try hard to make her sleep on my lap and she finally doses for a while. The moment I put her on the bed/crib, she is fully awake. Sometimes my legs go numb as I sit in the same position for minutes (hours???) together. But to shoo away the guilt trip atleast, I feel it is ok to sit with her all night. Hoping that this goes away as she grows.

 

hahhahah i cant stop laughing at the posts mommas, and i thought I WAS ALONE,and that only Z was weird.

Arthi, yesbee,Pon... it is DItto here...
Arthi,just like how u were,everytime DH opens his eyes i am patting her in my lap

earlier she used to pacify her with suckling thumb,now nope,she wants the real deal,she wants her momma ONLY.

and ramya,i have not even started working yet,so i am wondering whether it really is to do with ur not being during the day.

our babe,will sleep nicely from 8-11 pm, after which the horror starts, every 1-2 hours she is up,not for feed,but only for me to put her in my lap.these days i am even sleeping sitting up.lol

see,DH even wrote it about her sleep regression a day or 2 before

Papa , papa life of zoey madeleine

earlier i was trying to find out wat was bothering her,the AC?the fan? her romper?the bedsheet?????but nope..its just how she is at the moment....

yesterday night i went out to finish some kitchen chores, madam realised momma not in the room, she came crawling towards the door,and wailing
(yes we finally have our mattress on the ground after her infinite episodes of falling fromthe bed)...falling all over the place coz she was so sleepy...i quickly came and picked her up,put her back,she slept off...

this has become my fav fav phrase since mommyhood, THIS TOO SHALL PASS

 

Ramya, not a working mom. But I have had to leave home for the sake of sanity after being attached by the breast and by the mei tai to my child. Separation anxiety is a way the child understands she and mom are different people, that she is an independent being and that she enjoys the time she spends with this separate being who is there for her all the time. So look at it as a good thing and not feel guilty. It is a developmental milestone and does not occur only because you work. I guess it is a lot more difficult for working moms. Hugs to you.
Separation Anxiety in Young Children -
I am using some of it now to prepare my 3.5 year old to go to school. There is no solution, at least not immediate. But you can really work on it and make lil A feel a lot more secure.