Separate Bedroom Issues

What he feel is not wrong. You can try other methods to improve your relationship. Like show him your support and understanding in other aspects. Fix some time separately to talk to him and always say good night nicely with a warm hug or anything you like. Its not necessary to change the sleeping habits if you compensate it with other things.

 

@Tryinghard2013 I was going through your earlier posts and it seems like besides intimacy your marriage has other issues too. Sleeping apart might not have been the only issue . Your husband’s temper issues might be to blame too ? Are you feeling the pressure to hold on to this marriage because it is the second time ? Or is it because you think this marriage can still be salvaged ?

 

Very few marriages can survive seperate bedrooms.
Seperate bedrooms is not just lack of sex...but the lack of need for each other.

Op...you have twins. You could have put them in separate room a few years back . The fact that you both did not feel the need to put them in a seperate room speaks how little you both worked on keeping the bond.
Husband disturbs sleep?....it is almost like you were looking for an excuse.
May be it was hormones or something else but four years of neglect takes a toll.

Try to get things back to normal.
Put the girls in one room ...make it their room. Decorate it for them and start by putting them there in the day time.
In a few days,they will get used to it.
Put a night light in their room .

Then move into husband's bedroom.It may feel ackward but do it. If he objects, tell him the kids are grown up and need their room....or tell him kids disturb you and you want to sleep in your bed again.
Sleep there even if you only sleep.
It will take time but get used to sleeping in the same room,same bed.

That is where you should start.

 

The issue may not be due to just separate bedrooms, but there may be other misunderstandings between the couple..these have to be addressed along with sleeping in same room...it is very well possible for a married Couple to have regular intimacy even if they routinely sleep in different rooms, especially in nuclear families..they just have to work on it.

 

While that may be true for some....it is not for most .

Many men see it as a rejection.Not all people are same. Some are practical like you,others may be emotional.

If my spouse decided to sleep in seperate room for whatever reason, I would be devastated. I would feel hurt and rejected.

You may not like what I wrote but sleeping seperately is not good for any marriage.

In fragile marriages,sleeping separately makes things worse.

I am assuming this thread is not just about physical intimacy but more than that.
For some men too....emotional intimacy is important to initiate physical intimacy .

 

I absolutely agree with yellowmango.....Even if there is a fight, a couple should always sleep together.....Sleeping separately causes hurt and rejection which is detrimental to a marriage.....Children after a certain age need to sleep separately.....OP ,first thing pls take initiative to sleep with your H in your Master Bed room.....This is the ultimate private space for a married couple.....Pls respect your relationship with H or else you will hardly realise when things go out of your hand....pls take control.....Sleeping separately is just not the solution