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Selfish Friends

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 23, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Selfish Friends​

    I love making friends.A lot of them are friends since childhood.We used to go to school together,play marbles,outdoor games,study together,see movies.They are still good friends,because we knew each other before we knew the meaning of Money.


    Then I made friends in my business circle.The Tailors,cloth suppliers, the printers,some of them from good decent families.With other exporters, they are made to sit outside,and deal with the managers, who generally treat them like cattle.In my office, I dont keep managers,my office door is open,and I am accessible to everyone.Tea is being made all the time,and I drink in the same quality cups as we offer them.


    A few of them, really became good friends.And most wanted to become exporters.Since I was one of the few accessible exporters,they confided in me their wish.I guided them to the persons who helped them in getting the export registrations, and other formalities of the customs.



    Now came the question of finding buyers.A FAbricator (owner of a stitching Unit) ,had worked with me for two years,gave good quality at reasonable rates,and we became good friends.I told him to get buyers, participate in the Delhi Garment Fair, where Hundreds of Exporters take part,from all over India,and buyers from all parts of the world come to place orders.Since he was short of Samples to display,I parted with many Samples to him to display at the fair,and return to me later.I introduced him to a few other suppliers whose samples I got him on approval .



    He received very good orders,and his Exports started to flourish.And soon he was doing better than me.We kept meeting,if I was going his side of town,I would drop in for a cup of tea and a chat.I was very happy to see him doing so well for himself.He had a hard time in his life,and now with God's Grace, he was just raking in the money.
    Once I was at his place,and liked a few samples of his, which i thought would be useful for my buyer,and asked him to give me for a few days to make counter samples for my buyer.And I was shocked when he refused me.I cajoled him,but to no effect.And I had begun to notice that when i used to go to his office,he used to remove the files from his table,and his manager used to take away whatever samples were lying around.



    That was the day I knew Money had gone to his head.I told him on his face,that I did not like what he did,and to please not to meet me again.Its been 10 years this December, that I have last seen him.I have no contact with him.I hear from common suppliers, that from a scooter he know has a Top of the line Car,made a huge factory,his lovely bunglow ,doing well for himself.I feel happy for him,and happy for myself, that I am away from one more Bloodsucker friend,who just know how to take,umpteen times,and when it is their turn once,they turn their back.



    So's been the case with a few other guys,with whom I have gone out of my way to help them,when I was not obliged to do.But when I realised that they are biting the hand that feeds,I decided to withdraw my hand.



    It used to hurt initially,but no more.With age I realise, that I am better off without such people,they could have caused me much more harm later on.These days I dont much go into people's problems.Let each find their way in life,without using me as a ladder and discarding me.This way I will be always happy for their success with not feeling hurt ever.



    Kamal Mahtani
     
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  2. So Sure

    So Sure Senior IL'ite

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    hi Kamal,

    Looks like this person really hurt you. It is a fact that we share this earth with a few very ungrateful people. They do not deserve to be mentioned by you.

    I think that the hand that gives is always above the hand that takes... literally and symbolically! Your intentions were good. So, your so-called friend succeeded in making some money. But, he can never-ever be above you. In fact, he made it sure by himself. So, cheer up! :thumbsup

    Regards,
    Sharada
     
  3. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi KAMALJI,
    I am happy that the realisatiom came before it was too late. People are basically insecure.They think by helping another person their success will be affected. But they dont realise that one cannot take away another persons luck. I am sure you are better off without having such leeches in your life.
     
  4. naazneen

    naazneen Junior IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,
    so sorry your friend choose to let go of your friendship. Ironically as you say your friend is doing well. I know this is naive but sometimes I wonder why our parents let us read Aesop fables etc-wherein "bad stuff ultimately happens to the bad guy". It is so not true in real life. I really wonder how to explain about the realities of life to my daughter(just now she is 18 months old, so there is still time) I don't want her to be naive.
    Atleast since this was a business friend you were able to break contact with him. Selfishness like this takes place in families all the time. As we read amongst the marriage and family forums. It is sad.
    ~ Naazneen
     
  5. Abha

    Abha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Kamal ji

    I can completely understand how you feel, cos i have myself been ditched or to say used as a ladder to climb up, by the people i thought as friends. But then i realised quite early in the process that its better to keep out of other's problems and life... and I have learnt not to call everybody a friend... People just think that they'll get as much out from us as they can and then move on easily... i mean if somebody does a tiny little thing for me, I feel obliged and sort of get a feel that i owe this person... but then mostly people behave as if its our duty to help them or something... But still i feel good about myself at least that i have only done good and not harm anyone or at least i dint take advantage of anyone...

    well i really cant express these feelings as well, as i feel them inside.

    ~Abha
     
  6. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,

    Mein aap ke saath bhilkul sahamath hoon. Matlabi logon se dhoor rehana acha hai. Tamil mein ek kahavath hai,

    " Kuch kamake laaya tho baap hai
    kamaya nahi kamaya phir bhi maa hai
    sridhan laaya tho behan hai
    pathni ka barosa nahi hai lekin
    jeevan ki raksha karnevala dost hai'.

    The only ship that does not go down is friendship.

    Aap ka dost,

    TDU
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sharada,

    You have rightly said the giving hand is above the receivers.So true.

    But this year we made up, he called me onnew year's and we are good friends now.But yes it did hurt, when u go out of yr way fior someone,but well, we have to take these in our strides.Thanks for yr kind words.Kamal


    Priya au,

    Yes i am better off.But hemade up with me this year, and we are good friends once again.But i am watchful now.thanks.kamal

    Nazneen

    Yes it was easier for me to break off bcs it was a business friendship.But with relatives u have to suffer thm as u keep meeting them at family functions etc.I guess we have towatch our own backs from such guys.Thanks.kamal


    Abha,

    You have expressed yr feeling very well Abha.At least u have done no harm, may be too much good than required but defintly no harm to anyone.

    And yes many people take u for granted, and wehn we want something, theyy turn their back to us, that hurts.But i guess we learn along the way of life for sure.Thanks.kamal


    TNU

    So true and damn good one TNU.God bless u and yr family.Regards.kamal
     
  8. suminanda

    suminanda New IL'ite

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    dear kamalji,gratitude is the scarse thing today. we can't even expect the minimum courtesy from people who receive favours from us...........This world has become so self-centred and egoistic.............what to do? Bitter experiences become good teachers..aren't they?but to forgive is really great! you are adorable..........regards.............suminanda
     
  9. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sumi,

    You rightly say, we do not receive even the minimum courtesy from friends whome we have done favours to.

    But we have to carry on.These days i avoid going out of my way, when i am not required to do so.Each to their own.

    Thanks for yr kind words.Regards.kamal
     

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