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Self Realisation

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by messedup, Aug 4, 2021.

  1. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    "Our thoughts are our karma"

    Doing anything to help someone or to serve someone is not karma. What we are thinking while doing that is.

    One can feel so much proud of serving others but the pride comes with doing that with respect.

    Thinking negative and expecting positive is a mistake.

    Never see what you give and never forget that you get.

    Elders are assets, mirror of our own future. If you are not happy with your future now how will you be happy with it later.

    Realised some of my mistakes but don't know when the ego will take the feeling away.

    Just writing it down for future reference. :blush:
     
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  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Such self realisation is hard to achieve even for the very elderly! Congrats on the thoughts which will help you
    practice at least to extent possible! I'm 67, and yet working towards such positivity which is not always possible in the face of negativity from the other side.
     
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks...will try to practice. But there is always short positive duration and long negative. If we can't be negative all the time then how can we remain positive. It will keep changing. Life says keep struggling. At the end you will get nothing but you have to struggle a lot to get nothing in return.
     
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  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    I think the OP would do better with a daily dose of Panchatantra. Just a few stories a day would be the right ℞. Too many in a single day would have elephants, oxen, lions, jackals, monkeys, snakes and crocodiles all mixing it up with the Brahmins, and become a total busymela.

    As for finding it difficult to put out positive on the face of negative, you must review multiplication and divisions of negatives. Two negatives would make a positive. When this be the case, your negative give-back can be as many times negative as you receive. Prepare for the next time, and ...
    upload_2021-8-5_16-57-35.png
    The best way to do positives in family relationships, when all around you shove negativity in your face has two steps:
    1. Grind the enemy into the ground underfoot with whatever it takes -- negative, positive, imaginary or whatever
    2. When they are squirming in pain, and unable to do anything negative, positive or fractions, make them an offer of mercy.
    Intermediate namby pamby fumbles never work.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2021
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  5. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hello @messedup
    Nice post,I feel the day we realised itself is a big day,and we are reborn.karma and life coexist,our life is to get rid off all karmas,we are born to test with our karma, the early we know it's more better, else it gets carried to our next life.we often blame ourselves when any problem occurs in life,why this happens to me only?
    I started practicing to see good merits of my life,that's give positive energy to look into my demerits.This life is to purify ourselves but not amass material things.Material things are important to some extent.life demands money to live,but not money mind.
    I always measure my financial status with footwear,if we wear bigger footwear we fall,shorter footwear we can't walk.
    This life is to purify our soul,I strongly believe that,In our rebirth only body changes,the soul is carry forward with all recording of present life karmas.
    Elimination of karma can be done with good thoughts, regular practice.Here we need to observe one thing,when we learn any good thoughts, repeatedly we get so many excercise in life in form problems.If we stand by there and move forward with right intention then it's done for us.
    Regards
    Ratna
     
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  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    People show negative expression when either their expectations are different or they have been proved wrong which is not easy to digest.

    I do more and explain less but others explain more and do nothing or little bit. That's the reason I am not as good as they are.

    Whatever the situation is I too don't have any right to give them the negative reactions. It gives the wrong impression.

    I was telling the story of the king who once visited a shop and told his minister that he feels like to kill the shop owner. Which later came out that the shop person wanted the king to die so that his sandalwood will be sold. King got affected by the negative vibes. Suddenly my mil gave me the example that if you think negative about me how can I be positive for you and my sudden reaction was yes that's why I am reading Bhagavad Gita and doing other things to lower its affect.

    With her words I realized that yes I was also thinking negative. Now who will decide who started first and who reacted on it. She also feel the way I do. But she became more negative with my words and started ignoring me and showing the negative expressions. This time I didn't felt bad for that but was feeling pity on her that at this age she has to suffer because of me.

    All the time I think about changing her attitude towards me. Want to see a change everytime I do something good for her.

    But the point here is I have to improve myself irrespective of what others do. This is the main solution thats not easy to achieve. As we everytime judge ourself from others perspective.
     
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  7. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Situation of "DONE" never come in life. We just keep doing and learning more each time. But yes regular practice is required and necessary for our growth.
     
  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    The following is a typical example of not being negative enough.
    Neither you nor your MIL are negative enough to grind the adversary into the ground. You are each doing skirmishes, and allowing the adversary to escape. This isn't good for either of you. One of you has to eliminate the other in spirit and be victorious.... and then let the other barely survive, or preferably NOT. That is what your bhagavadgita should teach you. You will be doing God's work in eliminating your MIL -- the fruits of your labor go to god. So you do not have to feel bad about it at all...AT ALL. Your MIL has the same mission; to eliminate you(r spirit), if her karmayoga calls for it.
    This shows a lack of absorption of the reading of the B'Gita. You are not to expect any immediate benefits to accrue to you on the basis of your deeds. Only in training seals or dolphins, they perform well and you give them a piece of dead-fish. Mother-in-laws are more difficult to train than seals or dolphins. And besides, they are also holding a bucket of that metaphorical dead-fish hoping to feed you a piece, when you perform a trick. Can two dolphins share a fish ?<-- has been the philosophical question for the man of the house with a resident spouse and mother. Think about that.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2021
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  9. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Read your above response with interest, especially in the light of myself not being able to deal with my husbands negativity in certain situations. He bluntly disrespects or shows his displeasure to people whether friends or relatives whom i have invited home, and whom he decides to insult on the face.
    Over the years, i have time and again tried to make him understand that he need not entertain if not interested but could just stay away if possible. When this has failed, i used to argue/fight after the incidents. But, inspite of everything there is no change in attitude inspite of his advancing years! Even recently , a cousin visited from another state and he made a big issue telling her to her face that due to covid she is causing trouble to herself as well as us, by it. Her visit was for a genuine reason - to invite for her only son's wedding. I would have dealt with it in a more polished manner. There are umpteen situations but in some - not caring what i feel on the issue! As far as possible I try to avoid such situations, that automatically means my freedom is being stifled. Otherwise, there is nothing to complain about and he is a great father and husband when it comes to family responsibilities!
    Sorry OP for taking up your space. This is just to show there is no chance for me to follow the above strategy, if I have to have a peaceful family.
     
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  10. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Not your problem. Those who receive must give. You are only a facilitator, and 3rd party. It is not the scene for third parties. Your husband is doing a good deed in being nasty to select friends and relatives. He is imparting what would be a direct lesson. "Get lost" would be the gist of his actions.

    You help him in getting clients for such treatment; he ought to be grateful to you. And you concede that "he is a great father and husband". All is well. He seems to be following an exit plan.

    Many plan their exit strategy at whatever time they think it is time to do that. They want to break-off with everyone before they depart, so that, when they depart, everyone would heave a sigh of relief for losing such a nasty fellow, and all would happily go forth with their lives.

    On the other hand, if someone were to be too endearing till the end, to too many people, there'd be a huge production at the demise-departure, and everyone would make a scene. And that could get infectious too; even totally unrelated/unknown once-removed people would feel that they ought to create a scene, as if they had indeed received a significant portion of the estate, and how undeserving of that they are. And the bereaved in the family have to give them Bajji-Bisleri and so forth.
     
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