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Self Realisation...

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by girvani, Sep 27, 2018.

  1. girvani

    girvani Platinum IL'ite

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    Recently my life is in full swing. I am a mother of two and a full-time postgraduate student. With my research commitments, kids activities/homework, beavers leading responsibilities, and home chores/responsibilities, I felt that I am overwhelmed. Then I have taken two days of break to see through my self and analyze my thoughts and emotions.

    My first analysis is to understand what I want as a person, a wife, and a mother? Obviously, like all, I want to be the best I can be at each role. I have realized that I do not want to compromise my dreams to achieve what I want in life because I am a mother or a wife. At the same, time I want to be there to guide, support and pour my love to my kids and husband. And also, I would like to contribute a little bit to the society from which we as a family gain so much. It made me think how can I sort my self so that I do not drain my energy without a purpose and how can I conserve energy.

    As soon as you realize the gaps and area to improve then the next step is how to fix them. I have realized that each and every chore whether it is a household chore or any other, the chore itself takes only a small amount of time. But the thought of doing it makes you feel drained. I have learned to prioritize the activities and put a good time management plan so that the work is spread over the time and it comes periodically.

    The next step is about the thought management. As I mentioned in the above, our thoughts can be more strenuous and make you sick more than any physical work associated with it. My worst enemy was the ruminating thoughts. When I looked into it, I discovered insecurities and anxieties buried in me. I have accumulated these since my younger age due to the war I lived through and due to the comments, I received from some of my relatives and friends. With Swami's blessings, I am able to see this and able to understand the source of the cause. I started doing some positive affirmations and meditation and I gradually started to feel better and I am able to divert or stop the rumination thoughts.

    Finally, I have realized that the direct proportional behavior between the mindfulness and calmness. I started observing, at times I am saying I am busy/stressed/hectic while I am in a group conversation to be part of that group but in reality, I wasn't. It brought me into the realization that unnecessary word applications can draw you into negativity too. I became more a listener and speak only if necessary and that made me more peaceful.

    I am becoming more calmer by each day. There are some random things happens sometimes to test my oath. Sometimes I pass those challenges and sometimes I fail. I have a lot more hurdles to pass but I strongly feel that I am in a right path. I have learned so much in this IL forum and I have or trying to implement many of the suggestions and guidance are given by the elites here.

    My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. Maya Angelou
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    :cheer: To more women like yourself !! Take care of yourself . You are doing a good job :clap2:
     
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  3. peddadas

    peddadas Platinum IL'ite

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    This is an indeed a great attempt! Good luck with it!
     
  4. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Girvani,
    We all go through the phases you mentioned.
    Yes, thoughts of doing a chore creates more stress than doing the chore. Leave out the daily mundane things. But for doing something serious with full concentration thoughts are the foundation. We need them.
    To aim to be a perfectionist creates a lot of stress. Try our level best. It may not be 100% perfect. Perfectionism is a very debatable aspect. Who is a perfectionist? We set a standard and if we are not able to reach it frustration comes. So, relax..... Do your best. Nobody is completely perfect. You have very noble thoughts. Wish you all the best.
    Syamala
     
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  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Madam,
    A great job!This type of self assessment definitely helps.I fully agree with you. Thoughts about doing something take a longer time and it is but natural. Everywhere preparations or planning do take a long time. Actual wedding takes only two minutes.But thoughts about the wedding of oneself, daughter and son are deep in our minds ,stay there for long. Though we may say that thoughts take longer hours than actions,
    thoughts,either in the form of planning or anxious moments act as the force behind to take action.Thoughts may be in the form of reading books, listening to elders ,advising children etc etc should be considered a part of action plan and not a waste of time.Dr. Abdul Kalam advised youngsters to dream good things so that they can make attempt to achieve them.There is a planning dept in every house, every institution, every corporate and that is the foundation which builds up energy for action.
    It is just like nature's plan to have seeds inside the fruit, so that each seed can grow into a tree.

    Jayasala 42
     
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  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    My Dear Vani,

    First of all, congratulations for writing your thoughts clearly and concisely in your first attempt to write a snippet. This is a delight to read.

    It is true when you play so many roles in your life as a wife, mother and research scholar, there comes a time to review how well you are doing. Your ability to understand your emotions, emotions of people around you and the emotions of the community play a prominent role in how you define the world around you. As your emotional intelligence quotient (EIQ) improves, the life becomes meaningful.

    By keeping yourself healthy physically and emotionally, you help yourself and the family simultaneously. Your positive contributions to the community allows you to expand your conscience beyond a close circle of influence. When you closely observe your personal development, you would notice that your family's well-being and the communities well-being are closely associated with it.

    Our life gets defined by how well we did more than how much we did in life. There is no question that we all set ourselves a lot of goals personally, for the family and for serving the community. Some are achievable and some are far-fetched. We should be able to introspect and reconcile that it wasn't our failure but our focus to do things well. Quality of living life happy in the company of family, friends and the community brings out our being, make it more aware and experience bliss.

    Doing everything we do skillfully, lovingly and selflessly is the key to happiness. Sometimes, time will be limiting factors and other times, it could be some other element. If we keep our thoughts regulated and mind healthy, that would significantly improve the health of ourselves, our family and the community through positive energy.

    Lastly listening improves our ability to learn more. It improves our ability to be aware all the time. It is not just the chatter in the mind but also our excessive talking that limits our ability to learn. Past is history, future is mystery and only the present is a gift and that is why it is called present.

    Your analysis indicates that you are on the right track. Focus on the quality of life, it would become invaluable.

    Viswa
     
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  7. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vani,

    I enjoyed reading your process of self realization, especially the way your thoughts seamlessly originate from the preceding step and logically flow into the next. Very well analyzed and written. You make it seem simple but such clarity is not easily achieved. Loved the quote you shared. It perfectly expresses my own feelings. You should write more often!
     
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  8. girvani

    girvani Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you for your kind encouragement.
     
  9. girvani

    girvani Platinum IL'ite

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    Thank you so much.
     
  10. girvani

    girvani Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Shyamala,

    Much appreciated. Indeed I understand that I cannot be perfect. You are right, I didn't think in the view that the concentration thoughts are the foundation for activities too. Thank you.
    Vani
     

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