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Seeking Advice... Issue With Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Prabh, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. Prabh

    Prabh New IL'ite

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    Hi all
    Hi all
    This is in reagrds to my mil specifically..
    As my fil is better then her till my mil brain wash her. We live in US. And they are in India.

    Not going into the history in short can say
    My mil has following problems or issue
    1. Money minded i.e super duper trait in her... She ll nt spend any money on us in any terms if she gives anyhow 1000 rs for eg she ll take 2000 back anyhow.

    2. She is inscure as most mil
    Ab her son... So she keeps on interfering in between me and my husband... Even if we are not talking to her.

    3. She wana come to USA desperately
    And keeps on taunting me regarding lavish life we are living there( she cant see oir struggle there just 3 years we are there)
    This year they are planning to come. That's final

    So now i am seeking some advice on following issues

    1.how to forget thinking ab her whatever she has done with me in terms of taunting, misbehaving...

    2. As i lived with her when we visit india or earlier when we were having joint family.. I knw she is very stubborn and egoistic lady but at the same time she is very clever in terms of gossips.. She will talk so sweetly only in front of my husband with me..

    Issue is am always comparing her with my mom dad like i am still pampered at my home... eg. My parents understands me that i am tired so ll not ask me t o fo household work etc as am with small baby.. But she will as soon as she ll see me I made my baby sleep she ll come and say do dis work in kitchen... She ll nt understand while baby is sleeping mom also needs rest or have some other work
    .i know i shd answer her that i am busy or any other excuse. That i will but i am unable to forget that how she can do tht
    ...y cant she see my pain


    3. Most common issue she very Cleverly says something to my husband when i am not around like i am in kitchen or washroom.. i dont have any idea regarding what when how..... And as soon as i will talk to my husband we will have a fight... Or argument... I tried asking him what
    Happened and that ll only escalate the things and he will not tell... So I wait until he becomes normal with me.

    4. And lastly they are going to come to US
    Now Wana ask the ladies who all are living in US how do u guys stay calm and composed when they are there and u remain happy with your husband and baby.

    And how to answer them on the spot when they taunt or trying something clever without getting bad in eyes of husband as he doesn't like I disrespect his parents nor do I do it....

    Please guide thanks in advance
     
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  2. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    What part of USA do you live in ? In cold climate ? or warm ?
    When are they coming to USA ?
    What language you expect to speak to your MIL and FIL ?
    Who will drive them around ? Do you drive a car ?
    How old are they ? Are they vegetarians ?
    Do you often go to other indian people's houses for parties during weekends ?
    How old is your baby ?

    Do you see any positive aspects to the visit of your PIL's ? [like free babysitting, chores in the house, keeping son occupied, etc..]

    Write answers, and you will get tons of good, culturally appropriate advice.
     

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