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Second child!

Discussion in 'Post Pregnancy Care' started by vaidehi, Apr 5, 2007.

  1. vaidehi

    vaidehi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi IL ladies!

    i am in fix these days, mine is not a very rare situation. i think many of the ladies would have gone thru the same situation like i am.

    The thing is i am 29 yr old, and a mother of 2.8 yr old kid. There is tremendous amount of pressure on me from my relatives as well as parents to go for a second child, even my husband wants us to have a kid.
    i personally feel i should give more care towards my growing child and i want to be there for him in all his needs and feel i can wait for one or two year .

    But the thing is people keep saying that as ladies tend to age or cross 30's the delivery becomes all the more difficult. Is it so ? Can u all pls help me with your suggestion regarding the same.

    vaidehi
     
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  2. sihi

    sihi Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Vaidehi,

    I don't think it is true that after 30 delivery will be difficult.....nowadays lot of women get married late and don't want any children even after they are 30. In your case, its for a second child, I dont think it should be any problem. Most of people I know have had their second child around 32-33yrs. Only thing I have read is after 30yrs, the chances of conceiving every month decreases by 15% and after 35yrs its even lower. Best would be to consult your gynec and ask their advise.

    I would say, plan for the child whenever you as a mother feel ready for it.

    Regards and Take Care,
    Sihi
     
  3. happyreading

    happyreading New IL'ite

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    Hi Vaidehi,

    Its true that its not the same to have a second kid after 30. But thats not a show stopper at all. I know a lot of people who had kids after they crossed 30.
    Its more of a case by case than a common issue.

    The Most Important thing to keep in mind is to make sure you are healthy and fit and not over weigh. Generally women tend to ignore themselves as they have their family, work and kids to take care of. After 30, that really shows on their health. This could lead to common problems like gestational diabetes or Hight BP during pregnancy. Women who become pregnant after 34 have to go through couple of additional tests during pregnancy to ensure good health of the baby. Consulting your gynec will give you more information about becoming pregnant after 30.

    Otherthan that, Having a second child with 3-4 years of difference has its own advantages and disadvantages. Advantage is that they will grow together which will bond them more and will be good companions. To get to some micro details - Parents can be a bit free after 6-7 years to pursue other things. The kids for sometime will go to same school, same place for extracurricular activities etc. Even while going out on trips, it will be easy to handle kids of almost same group as they can visit attractions together.

    On the other hand, the common problem faced by couples living abroad is that they cannot get help from their families to take care of the kids. Having a second child before the first one can be on his/her own (to an extent) could be a problem. Both the husband and wife have to work it out so that they do not stress themselves too much.


    Regards,
    Radha
     
  4. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello,
    Not all women will have difficulties during pregnancy and delivery after 30yrs. It depends on their previous history also.
    There is nothing to be worried.
    Take care,
    Punitha
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2007
  5. workingmom

    workingmom New IL'ite

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    When to plan 2nd baby?

    Hi there,

    Am a new member to this forum looking for some advise.

    I have 7 months old son and I am working.

    I would liketo know what is the best time to plan your 2nd baby practically.:oops:

    Well, few says it better u plan 2nd baby soon say after a year or so as u can take care of two babies easily. Also i have heard that if you plan ur 2nd baby say a gap of 3-4 years then u are not used to small babies any more and their crying and all makes ur irritated parent:bangcomp: and that baby has to suffer:icon_frown:

    I am really quite surprised by all these opinions as I am very possessive parent and want to give my kids the best of everything and make them gud human beings.

    Of course, as of now am not thinking to plan my baby before 2 years but do u think I should wait more...

    Many of u working ladies would agree that pregnancy keeps u away from many ambitious projects at office then materinity leaves makes u further out of office picture. U really need to start from scratch once u are back from leave so.....its really tough to plan baby soon actually. I am also not sure that if I would be able to continue my job full time once i have two kids as leaving them with inlaws be too much for them....:tongue

    Please share your experiences and suggestions as am really confused.

    Take care,
     
  6. vaidehi

    vaidehi Silver IL'ite

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    Re: When to plan 2nd baby?

    Hi

    i think one should ideally start palnning for the 2nd baby only after the first kid is 2 yrs old, i know i am not saying anything new but my justification is we should give the same amount of care,comfort and love as this will be very helpful for the kid to grow as a good humanbeing in future.

    my son is now 2.8 yrs old and am still not ready to go for the second baby inspite of all pressure from the family and realtives. i want to give all sort of attention and care what is required at this stage of his life and so that he can totally depend on me or family for whatever demands arises in his latter part of his life.

    AS u said u would have to make some scarifice or adjustment in ur life for this, but it would be worthit down the line.

    cheers
    vaidehi
     
  7. msquare

    msquare Senior IL'ite

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    good topic. i dont know if i should post a new thread on this. whats the ideal time gap to go for a second baby? what do you all ladies think?
     
  8. mjsaroj

    mjsaroj Senior IL'ite

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    After 4 years it will good for mother and first baby
     

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