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scared and depressed..plz say something..

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by sknaaz, Jan 5, 2010.

  1. sknaaz

    sknaaz New IL'ite

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    hi frnds..
    i have been happily married for 5 yrs and have 2 lovely kids aged 3 yrs and 3 months resp.today i came to know that one of my frnd lost her husband.he expired yesterday of sudden heart attack,he was just in his 40's.they have 4 lil kids.his husband had a jewellery store.my frnd dint know much about his work or insurance or anything,she is a housewife and now she is struggling to wind up everything including store and go back to her country.
    iam very depressed thinking how life changes all of a sudden.i was thinking that god forbid if similar situation arrives in one's life what they have to do?i mean we should be mentally and practically prepared for any situation so that we can manage our family after any crisis.so please ladies share your thoughts about how we all should get details of everything including winding up everything from this country or staying here and managing our family if we have do it all alone by ourselves.what are the most important things we all should know to survive here.if you are in your country,although the pain is the same if something happens but atleast you have support of your loved ones to overcome your pain and handle your life.although everybody thinks of these things quite often but today iam too worried and scared .i pray to almighty that my frnd and all others like her overcomes their pain and take care of their life with all their strength.
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Naaz

    I dont want to sound sarcastic or rude, but you know the underlying cause and problem here. Not only this lady lost her husband and emotional support and strength she has, now she also has to deal with the responsiblities and support her kids and herself.

    I beleive only husbands can do anything in such scenarios. Husbands must and should let the wives know about their financial situation, how things work, and give basic financial education to wives (those who have totally no knowledge or idea) this way they make things easier. Forget about loosing a spouse, what if tomorrow he meets with an accident and suddenly the wife has to run for money and she doesnt know where the money is in which bank how much, where is the chque book etc.

    Not only about the finances, spouses should know about the insurances, beneficiaries and if someone doesnt have insurance they should atleast open their eyes and start enrolling for one.

    This is a very sensitive topic and I beleive westerners handle it more practically than we Indians. The moment you tell a husband this doubt of what if something happens to him tomorrow, the husbands feel as if the wives are running away with the money.

    This rule not only applies to the husbands, also to the wives too if the wife is also earning.

    Finally whatever happens, either the husband/wife has to deal with the trauma and responsiblities, no one else would want to involve or share a helping hand, even if they do, how much can anyone involve?? there is a limit to everyones capabilities isnt it??
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2010
  3. ansh12

    ansh12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    Again Srividhya is right.

    Every individual should try to make self strong enough to face odds. Not only spouse, even parents should share financial matters after a certain age with the children. Children should be taught how to handle money.

    Agreed money is not everything but it is something very important for subsistence. I have myself seen women saying why should I bother about financial matters as he is good at it and he doesn't bother me at all.

    I am of the view that husband wife are two wheels moving on the same axle therefore, they should know each other strengths and weakness(sounds bit idealistic). Financial matters should be discussed openly with each other, so that the situation like this do not arise.

    Regards
    Ansh



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  4. sknaaz

    sknaaz New IL'ite

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    hi friends..
    you are right guys.both partners should have knowledge of their financial matters.yesteday i went to see this lady and saw her condition.Although she is trying hard to calm down and manage her kids,but its really difficult,again and again she was saying "he had knowledge of everything...where are my kids?...how and from where i have to start".its really sad.
    truly said that sometimes its hard to ask a husband about financial matter.but husband's should get practical and share every matter with his wife.dont think that iam here,so why she should worry.its good to participate in every paper work your husband does .be it be applying for any visa or travel docs or any financial matter.so that the whole process is known to every lady.matters like transfering money or the simple task of booking a ticket to their country,they should try to do all these simple task by themselves ,rather dumping every work on their husband.
    please ladies who are doing all this very well and keep doing it and who had never bothered about involving,please get started.
     
  5. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with SriVidya, she is totally right in everything said.

    Also, I think it is a good idea for you to have life insurance for yourself and husband. It gives you peace of mind. Should anything happen to your dh, life insurance could cover unexpected costs and help you to get on your feet. If anything were to happen to you, life insurance would enable your dh to hire a nanny to look after your kids at least until he figured out what to do. Life insurance is very important, especially when children are involved, or when one spouse is a stay-at-home-parent. Just my two cents.
     
  6. danielmanu

    danielmanu New IL'ite

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    Hi
    I am financial advisor for bharathi axa , i have licence code from irda you can contact me regarding your life insurance queiries and insurance products
     

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