In a ladies Whatsapp group, one woman asked about wearing a saree to her kid's college graduation. It’s a Texas college, not California. The silk saree with solid somber color and tiny bootas was very dignified and elegant. But in a U.S. setting, it could draw attention and compliments, possibly taking away from the grad’s big day. So I said - the saree is beautiful and elegant, but I wouldn't wear it to a graduation unless I am the one graduating. I thought I was just offering an honest opinion. This lady has lived in the U.S. for decades and is quite comfortable in western wear, so my opinion stands. If someone only wears sarees, then of course they’d wear that to graduation. But if you’re equally at ease in western wear, then maybe choose that for this occasion. I'm all for wearing what you like, but more important (to me) is not taking the spotlight away from the grad on his day. Turns out... I might have been too honest? She stopped posting in the group and started talking 1-on-1 with others about accessories. So now I’m wondering: 1) What is your opinion about a mom wearing a saree to a Texas college graduation? 2) Was I wrong to share my honest opinion? Should I have been more tactful? Graduation ceremony is indoors, so Texas heat is not a factor.
Tagging a few people: @jskls @Laks09 @Thoughtful @gamma50g @anika987 @SGBV @ProudIndian @chanchitra @lavani @Viswamitra @Mistt @nayidulhan @MalStrom
I showed better half the chat. He said I was right in that mom on kid's graduation day should blend into the background, not stand out. But the second part of my response was snarky it seems: "the saree is beautiful and elegant, but I wouldn't wear it to a graduation unless I am the one graduating."
Dear Rihana, I have seen photos of moms wearing sarees on graduation day and taking pictures with family. I think these moms consider it a photo-op to be shared with friends and family (on social media), and could be tradition/saree enthusiasts too. I have paused to stare at the photos, pondering the whole picture, the grad, the mom in a saree and shades, and wondered, mostly on the lines of if I would do it, and the answer for me is a clear no - even in California I personally like to respect the tradition of the place and the occasion and dress appropriately/suitably. That said, as you know, college graduations are a huge affair, so I doubt that it will take away 'the moment' from the child graduating, especially if the family doesn't care how the mom dresses. But you are not wrong in offering your opinion; perhaps you could have worded it differently? It is for the mom to decide how to take it, and she seems to have decided, for now! PS: This response is a perspective from a person who doesn't ask for others' opinions, especially in such matters
I had seen a couple of Indian ladies wearing saree in college graduation and I didn’t feel any odd in their presence. It is okay to wear saree or whatever as long as her daughter/ son (graduating person) feels comfortable with her attire. In the graduation, All are busy with their own stuff and it is completely personal choice. .[/QUOTE]
Take this response with a pinch of salt because I have never asked anyone about an opinion about my attire ever... If your friend is comfortable in western clothes and is only is an occasional saree wearer (for special occasions and temples), her kid's graduation ceremony does not constitute a saree wearing type of special occasion, whether it is Texas or California (unless someone is always wearing a saree like the grandmother). When parents of other graduating kids see this lady who they are used to seeing in western outfits, suddenly decked up in a saree, she - or more specifically her outfit - would be the center of spotlight and would be stealing her kids thunder. But that's my personal opinion. Maybe she felt that it is an occasion worthy of dressing up in a saree and clicking pictures to remember for a long time and wanted to look like the proud mumma, whose kid is graduating in the pics. IMHO, she seemed to have made up her mind to wear that saree to the graduation even before she asked for your opinion. She just wanted a validation of her decision from you guys and you just became a bali ka bakra by offering your honest opinion. Like @Srama said, even though i also am in California, I would never dress to stand out. I would only dress to blend in, depending on what the ocassion demands.
i do not mind wearing saree. but i guess that is just me. post award ceremony it will be photos with family and he might again socialize with friends. when my daughter graduated her high school, i wore a saree. honestly may be 1 or 2 women would have commented on it. rest were busy takings photos . this is nj . my dd spent 10 mins with and then ran away to be with her friends. she did not bother either. what really bothered was sitting . since it was done in a sports stadium . there was very less space next to each other. i did not feel comfortable setting in that location. that personally is a valid reason for me to not wear saree again next time in such occasions.
Honestly No one cares what one wears in such big events. If the graduating kid is ok with the mom wearing a saree then she should go for it. Hardly family spends few minutes together and be it for a photo opportunity or a memory to remember why not dress up nice with whatever it suits them not stealing the show from the graduating kid. If the program has a dress code then yes follow the same if not it can be an elegant saree if one wishes for it. No you were not wrong to share your opinion either. If it was me I would have told I still like to go in saree as it’s a celebration and want to feel festive. I agree with Lavani though that seating in big stadiums or navigating those spaces is hard when you’re in Saree. I would still do it
You didn’t say anything wrong at all.It was a very normal comment according to me. Saree is fine like a mysore silk or even something not too grand or Colorful..coz as u said it’s the day for the kid not the parent. Couple of days in the mall..I met this sweet lady in the mall who actually felt she was a bit overweight to wear a particular dress which was a high end brand to her son’s graduation and damn it was so glamorous but the lady was too sweet and i encouraged her so much that she is going to wear the same to a couple More parties Am sure she is going to steal the spotlight I know am contradicting my previous advice lol
