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salam bombay sorry mumbai

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vidyasundar, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. vidyasundar

    vidyasundar Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi All;
    For all you desi's a must read.especially the
    bombayites!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy...........

    Awesome! B_O_M_B_A_Y
    <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:eek:ffice:smarttags" /><st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bombay</st1:place></st1:City> has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay. Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
    There is no darkness in Andheri.
    Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
    No king ever stayed at <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Kings Circle</st1:address></st1:Street> .
    Nor did Queen <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Victoria</st1:place></st1:State> stay at Victoria Terminus.
    Nor is there any princess at <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Princess Street</st1:address></st1:Street> .
    <st1:place w:st="on">Lower Parel</st1:place> is at the same level as Parel
    There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
    The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
    There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
    Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
    Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
    Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
    Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
    You cannot buy coal at <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Kolsa street</st1:address></st1:Street>.
    There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
    There are no pot makers at kumbhar wada


    AMCHI MUMBAI

    A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

    Where lovers first love and then marry,
    Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and Harry
    Where telephone bills make a person ill,
    Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.
    Where carbon-dioxide is more thanoxygen,
    Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,
    Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
    Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
    Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
    Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,
    Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
    Where people first act and then think,
    Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
    Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
    Where the beggars become rich soon,
    Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,
    Where college admission means hard cash,
    Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
    This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

    THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE

    1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.

    2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi',which only Bombayites can understand.

    3. Your door has more than three locks.

    4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

    5. Train timings (9.27,10.49etc) are really important events of life.

    6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

    7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

    8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

    9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes,trainfriends, a species unique only in <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bombay</st1:place></st1:City>.

    10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Marsif you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Warden Road</st1:address></st1:Street>, Peddar  Road, <st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Altamount Road</st1:address></st1:Street> .

    11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.

    12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.

    13. You take fashion seriously.You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

    14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

    15. You compare <st1:City w:st="on">Bombay</st1:City> to <st1:State w:st="on">New York</st1:State> 's <st1:City w:st="on">Manhattan</st1:City> instead of any other cities of <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">India</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

    16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

    17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placeName w:st="on">Chatrapati</st1:placeName> <st1:placeName w:st="on">Shivaji</st1:placeName> <st1:placeName w:st="on">International</st1:placeName> <st1:placeType w:st="on">Airport</st1:placeType></st1:place>.

    18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

    19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
    20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

    21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons,and actually call it ''romantic'.

    22. Only in <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Bombay</st1:place></st1:City> , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken
     
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  2. daffodil

    daffodil Bronze IL'ite

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    Bombay...meri jaan!


    Of bhel puri and juhu chowpaty
    To Irani ki chai…bun maska and kheema patty

    From Kasa kai bara hai…kai chaal lai?
    To Circuit, Maamu and Munna bhai

    From the fish fry that hangs upside down at Sion koliwada
    To Sri Krishna’s garama garam bata vada

    Of Cusrow Baug & Freny Todiwallah
    And of food delivery men…the dabbawallas

    Of cuffe parade and sassoon docks
    To bade miyah ke lazeez kabab

    Of lazy afternoons at Leopolds and Mondegar
    To firangs on causeway leching…smoking cigar

    When Sandra and Robert need to meet chori chori
    Would it be at Church pakadi or khotachi wadi?

    Traffic signals bypassed…railway tracks we cross
    We hang with our lives from the doors of the virar fast

    From the pious steps of Mahalaxmi,
    To the morning sight of the Haji ali

    Bombay or Mumbhai whichever way you see
    Thoda spicy…thoda cool…hai yeh city

    *****************************************************************************
    Love,
    Janhavi
     
  3. kswati

    kswati New IL'ite

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    To Janhavi and Vidya,

    U made me go back to Mumbai, made me feel, eat, talk, travel everything with each mentioned lines of yours. S, amchi mumbai, missing all that. Missing the local trains , missing the train friends, missing the hawkers and mall in the train, and above all missing the rain.

    A Mumbaite all my life
    Swati

    Swati
     
  4. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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    Aih Dil, Hai Mushkil Jeena Yahaan....
    Zarah Hattke, Zarah Bachkey, Yeh Hai MUMBAI meri jaan.....
     

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