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Sad Prejudices That Indian Moms Face At The Workplace

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by Needtobestrong, Jan 19, 2017.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I am a housewife as of now so it's not personal experience.. but have noticed sad prejudices happening with many known friends and acquaintances who are working moms with kids...when I was working I noticed many of my colleagues facing such issue so wanted to share.

    I'm sure many of u have faced prejudices at the workplace.

    Examples:
    1. My friend was pregnant and her project ended..she applied for internal job postings but all managers rejected her as "they didn't want to waste time training a person who was anyway going to go on maternity leave."
    2. One more friend who was in 8th month of pregnancy and working in MNC requested for laptop and wfh as office location was shifted 15 km away from her home during pregnancy..they refused and after begging senior people they managed to give wfh just for 2 days a week.
    3. One co worker went on maternity leave ..that time it was 3 months..after three months ended her manager started calling and asking when she z returning to work..she was Exclusively BFing her baby so she requested 3 months leave without pay..after that she requested just 1 month of work from home so she could feed her baby, wean her baby and introduce solid foods And arrange for proper help to look after her baby before rejoining work..her manager and team lead refused even though they had the capacity to grant wfh to her..she was otherwise a sincere resource..they insisted her to work 9-6.30 everyday without flexibility and take up extra responsibilities as well..as a new mom of 5 or 6 months baby it was difficult for her to commit to it hence they kicked her out of the project.
    4. One lady couple of years senior to me used to come to office at sharp 9 am, finish all the work given to her and leave at 6pm ..she would not waste single minute and just take ten minutes for lunch and five minutes for coffee break..her male counterparts who would walk into office slowly around noon, waste 1 hour for lunch and 1 hour on coffee tea and smoke breaks and unaccounted time on casual net surfing used to make silly remarks on how she got to "leave early from office just because she is a lady" and how " ladies have it easy". They resented the fact that she was allowed to take certain late evening calls from home..

    I feel many working mothers are unable to work and reach senior position because of pathetic attitude of managers and leads and co workers towards them.

    Courtesy:
    I came across the following blog while surfing online...
    Really Sad Prejudices Only Indian Working Moms Face At The Workplace
    I found this to be 99% true at Indian workplaces..
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2017
    sindmani, AnooSA, blindpup10 and 3 others like this.
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  2. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    I think these Indian managers have no idea what it takes to taking care of baby, and the post delivery stress, and how they are managing home, kid and office work. Most of them don't know as they don't know how it all happens in their homes, as they going late at night from work. Mornings they would be sleeping when wife is juggling.

    Even if they know they use this as a chance to discriminate, criticize their work, as everywhere it happens outside work too to woman in India society / home.
    my American mgr, in previous job is so understanding to the needs of baby/kids, and there were 3 Indian women delivered in different years and he used to assign their work to other members in team and it all used to go very smoothly related to office work. No hiccups in it.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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  4. curiousgals78

    curiousgals78 Gold IL'ite

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    i can corelate with this post. i have had the same thing happen though my manager is american and a lady. she had no kids and none other in the team had. they were not married and no responsibilities for them. i used to come in by 9 and leave by 6. i had to drop my kids of to school and another one to daycare before i came in. the morning meeting was always by 9 sharp. if i was late by 2 min i will miss the meeting and i was accused for it.
    i could not leave even if there was an emergency with the kids. i had to beg my husband to come and pick up the kid though i was only 5 min away from there. no wfh. i cannot even leave before 10 min early. it was so suffocating. i changed work now. the boss here is bit better but the work here is tedious. got lot of stuff to learn and get myself upto speed with. By Babas grace i have to get my self going. hoping this will be better eventually.
     
    Needtobestrong and KashmirFlower like this.
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    This somehow reminds me of an Indian MIL rearranging and assigning household chores to the other DILs when some DILs are expecting or new mothers. And the household proceeding without hiccups.

    Snarky-ness aside, if the manager was assigning the women's work to others when the women were on maternity leave, he was doing his job which is to manage. If he did it when they were not on leave, just to lighten their load, then, it is a sure recipe to breed resentment.
     
  6. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    A tricky situation. I doubt they could openly state that as the reason in a place with stricter anti-discrimination laws in place. That being said, applying for internal job postings is a combination of science, art, luck, timing, connections, and both the managers (current and potential) being willing. Facing a challenge in internal transfer was not unique to her. If an employee is going on a planned company approved sabbatical in a few months or weeks, and applies for internal job posting or transfer, he will also get rejected, most likely.

    While her difficulty is understandable, from the company's POV, office moved 15 km for all employees with many family responsibilities and commitments. If they make accommodations for one, they have to be prepared to make those for more. Maybe, this company was not set up or not in favor of widespread WFH. Getting WFH for 2 days a week is not a bad deal at all.

    Again, no doubt giving birth to a child is one of the most beautiful acts and events, but, it is up to the woman to be aware of her company's requirements and policies and make arrangements ahead of time, presenting a plan to management that shows her commitment and planning for the future. BFing is beautiful (no sarcasm), but, there are breast pumps and I hate to say this - sometimes exclusively breastfeeding does not go with fulltime work. Some formula supplementing is not a bad option for such cases.

    If the management didn't see through such workers who were less productive, then, there is something more wrong with the company. This resentment at parents or mothers being allowed to leave early or have flex timings is everywhere. No doubt flex timings help the employee perform better and increase loyalty, but from the management POV, it becomes harder to coordinate things that ideally need people present in the office. Even with all the technology, an in-person conversation make a difference. Each company has some generally accepted work timings. An employee who does not follow those can be (not will be) an inconvenience.

    In Indian scenario, I would say it is more due to unsupportive husband and unrealistic expectations from family, in particular, if living in a joint-family or with in-laws. And due to lack of reliable daycare.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2017
    sbonigala, yellowmango and SunPa like this.
  7. blissofmylife

    blissofmylife Silver IL'ite

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    I would disagree to the last point..even though the woman may worked out her personal life arrangements, we cannot deny the fact that every manager would view her actions with a microscope.. not so much in the case of a man.. even though he may be much less committed to work..
     
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  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    And we cannot deny the fact that no matter how dedicated a woman is, pregnancy does slow her down, esp in later months, and the first few weeks or even months back to work after birth, the woman is not at her peak work performance. Marissa Meyer being an exception.

    I have been through practically every possible situation - working, pregnant while working, wfh, back to work after delivery, flex timing, part-time, interviewing a pregnant candidate ( we were told we have to hire her, if we reject have to give really strong reasons, we hired her, she took it easy for 1.5 months, went on leave, and effectively started serious work only after maternity leave).

    One cannot deny that a parent (male or female) who leaves work early for whatever reason or who has availed of more flexibility than others, or who does more WFH than others, is sometimes (often?) viewed unfavorably. I agree this is unfair.
     
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  9. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    May be, but We in our team were very eager to take others project too, we thought always that others project is interesting, ex: one was doing mobile related development, we were like who will he assign? It was competitive spirit.
     
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  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    So was it to lighten their load when they are pregnant and working or to reassign their work when they went on leave?
     

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