Romance Means....

Dear MaLs

It's very interesting and nice one

regards

 

Hey Mals,

You just took all of us on cloud 9.

So far we were in joint family so never had the opportunity to flaunt your emotions.

Also, he has long working hours...but a warm hug and a peck is always there.

And whenever at home we try to spend quality time together.

Roopa.

 

Hi Malu Dear,
Being a girl who used to think that marriages are fairy tale......during the first year of my marriage, I always nagged my hubby dear for not being romantic and blah blah things......you won't believe that I used to behave like that.....but then after seeing the many of my friends.....their relationship, now I used to thank God for giving me the best gift in form of my DH....For me, your mentioned points may not hold good but still I feel that we are real romantic couples who care for each other (it is always him, who does all the caring.....)

• 1. Remembering my B'Day....our Anniversary....or any event which I like the most....
• Yes, my DH does all this for me, even taking care of my interest so much that he will always remind me about my Sherlock Holmes and Sarabhai vs Sarabhai Episodes.....
• 2. About buying surprise gifts for me.....
• No, my dear, he is not good at that as he tried once...brought one diamond stud for me on our first Anniversary and that was so small for so much money spent, and being a carefree bindaas girl it is tough for me to take care of that stud... (my thoughts)...so whatever we buy for each other, we used to discuss...go together......be it grocery.....electronics.....clothings...what ever....
• 3. Walking in the moonlight......
• Yes, my dear, both of us love that....Almost every evening after dinner, we go for a walk for an hour or so......we both love this time a lot....holding hands (he likes, but I used to hold his arms tightly and he hinks his blood circulation will stop...)....
• 4. Getting a peck.... is always there whenever I want...or he feels......
• 5. For me the most romantic thing is getting an early morning back massage when I feel hard to sacrifice my sleep to get ready for work.....it is something like a heavenly feeling.....
• 6. Working together in the kitchen.....I love it when he is around me in the kitchen helping me out (rather I should say, doing most of the work when I loitter around)...
• 6. Taking care of all my indoor plants.......for me, a small plant is the best gift which my DH always get for me.....yes, he used to get plants for me without asking him.....and then planting it to a big pot.......taking care of them....we both do it together....and I love these moments most (don't think that he is all lovey dovey that time....mostly he used to yell at me when I caresses the leaves....).....
• 7. After every fight, he will come to me.....hug me.......and for him, fight should be resolved soon.....so, he is the first to apologise in not all but most of the fights......and you know, at the end, we don't even remember the topic for which we fought for so long.......
• 8. Him talking to me......telling me all he knows about the wild life.....evolution...society...., I used to tease him saying that if he loose his job, he can be a famous BABA.......
• 9. My dear, the most romantic moment for me is sitting very close to him.....holding hands......watching a horror movie......and switching off the TV when the final sequence comes.......(you should see my DH face and reaction....).
• 10. Tasting all my culinary experiments......when we have a party at home (and by the launch/dinner time, he is full).......

My dear Malu, my list is endless.......so, I muct stop here.... I think every small or big thing which we do together, we enjoy that because for us one thing matters and that is we are together.....and this feeling itself is romantic....when you think that there is one person who is totally devoted to you and loves you the most after your parents and with whom you are all secure ...... and who will listen to all your absurd (me often talks) blabbering......and who will be there in all your thick and thin.......and sufferings.......for me this feeling is what I call romance.......
Love.

 

hi Malaspie, Before i was married i had such a different defition of romance..it was the typical things..flowers, long walks, long talks and just being together...Now that i have been married for 6 long...yrs, my defination is VERY different, today i would say that i would feel happy if my husb would not fight with me, if the 2 of us could have peace for even one month ...today my defintion of romance has nothing to do with holding hands or talking long walks....I think it has more to do with what is he willing to do for me, and what i am willing to do him...Marriage is alot of give and take, but being a dil with unhapy ils, i feel like i am always giving, alwyas stepping back.

sash

 

Hi Mals.....I am not sure if i can do justice to your hard work by listing all these as most will be irelevant to my hubby, I will still try (mainly as it is soo intresting and )might help me put things in perspective too as i have been going thru some very bad times in my marriage. We had a love marriage just one and a half years old.

What does romance mean to you??

• Remembering your birthday, anniversary, first date..

He sems to remember all those...atleast the birthdays, and anniversaries and makes sure to give me something valuable and make my day even when we re going thru a tough time financially

• O.k. lets trap this too, a beach walk on a full moon day, candle lit dinner

yes he does love to do that and we have done it some times though not exactly on beach

• Remembering your likes and dislikes and getting gifts for you.

I dont know if he knows what i like.......gifts yes

• Remembering your wants and gifting you with it. (Its not necessary that a person can immediately buy things for you).

dunno if he knows what i want or need.....


Now comes the real cake…….

• Reading your mind before your speak.

not unless we re on any of his pet subjects and fighting

• Realizing you are in trouble or worried (without you broaching the topic)

yes he does but most of the times rather than helping he criticises me which puts me more on the offensive than helping me think rationally

• Calling to cheer you up ,knowing it would not be a great day for you (some superfluous visitor, sullied chores you have to do).

sometimes he does that . more often no.

Suddenly joining you for lunch without informing you

noways..

• Wiping your unseen tears

hmmm...........dont know he has done it when i cry but not unseen..my hubby cannot be calssified and intutionally sensitive bonk

• Standing tall as an Oak tree behind you

hmmmm not yet needed..but once or twice ..i donot know if he was supporting me of pushing me to supportmyself....:idontgetit:

• Holding you, loving you unconditionally, being with you from far and near

no im yet to feel that, though i hv felt it b4 marriage ( that sy i marrie dhim as i needed a lot of support..but now)

• Working hard to drive away your fears

not really, under the ruse of making me strong he does not make my life easy or put me at ease on anything. moreover tries to increase my tension , his explanation - u need to face realitites. my anser - i f i needed to then y the hell did i marry???

• Working hard to match your taste (not compulsory, rather not required, both of you can have your individuality but still working hard)

no...he has ssaid its his way or high way for me. i have to bide by his tastes or i go my way and he go his way

• Sending e-cards, emails, sms’s saying “love you”, “miss you”, etc… even when in office or far away…

mg: NO WAY ( though he has done it b4 marriage)

• Wearing your favourite colour shirt or blouse

yes sometimes when i do ask he does it

• Hugging and kissing when there is a chance

yes when hes in the mood

• Being with you during all trials

i guess so despite cirtisising me to an extend tht i feel Oh god why me!!!!!!!!!!!

• Accepting you unconditionally

no ways boss, its his way , his needs all the way

• Takes you by surprise by booking air / rail / road tickets to spend some cozy time with you.

yes he might have done it if we were better off ( i leart tht from my honemoon)

• Helping in your daily chores

"Whats That' chores" !!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Not ridiculing you for your short comings rather helping you to achieve your goals.

may not reidicule but his criticisim it self is enuf to wither u

• Not saying, partaking or sharing anything with you but still being there for you at all times.

yes

• Not in good terms with you but still cannot live without you.

i guess so - he says or esle he wud not be here now.............

now pleas help me understand if im wrong in staying and fighting for this marriage? He asks me if i find so much of faults - esepcally his criticism is terrible, y am i still here with him and fighting for this.............but some how i feel he loves me and that make me stay as i belive its always better to be with some who loves u than goin behind one whom u love but donot love u......am i crazy??bonk

S