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Romance Means....

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by malspie, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

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    :mad:
    What does romance mean to you??

    Often people complain about their spouse or lovers being unromantic.:-( Romance is always painted with moon light walks and candle light dinners. To all the teenagers out there, I am sure I have missed the beach walk too. :)

    Many grow up with only these two components as the only stipulation for romance. How many relationships are flushed down the drain due to this fallacy :bangcomp: ? It’s very sad to see few good relationships fading out.

    Let’s see romance from a different perception.

    Can we consider the following points for the definition of a romantic person (for both sex):

    • Remembering your birthday, anniversary, first date..
    • O.k. lets trap this too, a beach walk on a full moon day, candle lit dinner
    • Remembering your likes and dislikes and getting gifts for you.
    • Remembering your wants and gifting you with it. (Its not necessary that a person can immediately buy things for you).

    Now comes the real cake…….

    • Reading your mind before your speak.
    • Realizing you are in trouble or worried (without you broaching the topic)
    • Calling to cheer you up ,knowing it would not be a great day for you (some superfluous visitor, sullied chores you have to do).
    • Suddenly joining you for lunch without informing you
    • Wiping your unseen tears
    • Standing tall as an Oak tree behind you
    • Holding you, loving you unconditionally, being with you from far and near
    • Working hard to drive away your fears
    • Working hard to match your taste (not compulsory, rather not required, both of you can have your individuality but still working hard)
    • Sending e-cards, emails, sms’s saying “love you”, “miss you”, etc… even when in office or far away…
    • Wearing your favourite colour shirt or blouse
    • Hugging and kissing when there is a chance
    • Being with you during all trials
    • Accepting you unconditionally
    • Takes you by surprise by booking air / rail / road tickets to spend some cozy time with you.
    • Helping in your daily chores
    • Not ridiculing you for your short comings rather helping you to achieve your goals.
    • Not saying, partaking or sharing anything with you but still being there for you at all times.
    • Not in good terms with you but still cannot live without you.
    (Hey!! the last two cannot be for romance. It has to be love. But still let’s consider it).

    By the way, what is romance to you?? Let’s hear from you!!:wink:

     
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  2. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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  3. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi

    I agree with Sunkan.... Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.... What we feel romantic need not have to be taken in the same way by the other person......

    Classic example, I went with my friends in UAE for shopping... just like that... My friend's wife likes to shop a lot.... We were in a jewellery store and looking at the traditional Diamond stud.... I liked one piece which was a real beauty (ofcourse the price too INR100K)...... My friends wife who realy came for shopping left it as it was beyond her budget.... Since I liked it very much I asked my wife whether she will take it. First she thought I was joking. When I said I am real serious.....then I got a ear full....:bangcomp: I thought my wife will be really happy ..... But it is not the case..... It is not she didnt like that.... :idontgetit: ...

    In my opinion Romance is not in giving cards/having candle light dinner/helping you in crisis or whatever.......

    When you are in true love.... You need not have to talk.... go out to special places... give gift etc... etc.... The feelings will speak.... she/he will know what you want without even uttering any words.... Even adjusting the curls falling on your face will look romantic........

    This is what my wife tells me..... That is what we are following.......

    Veda
     
  4. Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Simple pleasures,
    stolen glances,
    holding hands,
    ice cream in the rain,
    messaging when not expected,
    being there alaways,
    saying it with silence,
    loving you without words and forever,
    worrying about you when you are late,
    caring when sick,
    correcting you when wrong.
    Hey, Mals I can go on, but I have jotted down what came to my mind first.
    Love is that magic four letter word with myriad definitons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Janani,
    The idea of this thread to explore the meaning of romance for all those hearts who are floating in the clouds.......................
     
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi mals a nice thread,

    For me romance means,
    Well you have already listed everything....:yes: , along with it,
    saying i love you a hundred times, when i least expect. just bringing me a gajra, taking me on a long ride on the bike, just keeping me warm with a hug when i am cold...rubbing my legs when i have a cramp....eating and praising my cooking ..trying to make a cup of hot coffee (which is cold by the time i drink)...talking to me through eyes even in a big group.... oh... enjoyng it for the last 13+years.... the list is endless......
     
  7. 10shwetha

    10shwetha New IL'ite

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    Interesting topic indeed!

    Hey according to me romance is everything that expresses love...

    Unexpected hug / kiss outdoors
    Gazing at you when you are deeply involved in work
    Admiring you speak - right / wrong
    Cuddling when watching TV
    Dedicating special songs for each other
    Dancing to a romantic tune
    Jus holding hands
    hands around your waist when you roam around
    Giving a massage
    Looking at your hubby enjoying your cooking
    Those surprise hugs from behind when u r in the kitchen
    Even amidst 100s of people, relating some event / song to our past life
    Kissing on the forehead
    Wiping your tears when you cry
    Crying when you cry
    Any kind of suprise
    Having a pet name for each other
    Writing poems for him/her
    ...
    ...
    ..
    .
    .

    The list can go on...
     
  8. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    What does romance mean to you??

    Often people complain about their spouse or lovers being unromantic.:-( Romance is always painted with moon light walks and candle light dinners. To all the teenagers out there, I am sure I have missed the beach walk too. :)

    Many grow up with only these two components as the only stipulation for romance. How many relationships are flushed down the drain due to this fallacy :bangcomp: ? It’s very sad to see few good relationships fading out.

    Let’s see romance from a different perception.

    Can we consider the following points for the definition of a romantic person (for both sex):

    • Remembering your birthday, anniversary, first date..
    • O.k. lets trap this too, a beach walk on a full moon day, candle lit dinner
    • Remembering your likes and dislikes and getting gifts for you.
    • Remembering your wants and gifting you with it. (Its not necessary that a person can immediately buy things for you).
    Hi Mals,
    True this is what every other woman want for and long for not just all the above just for personal pleasure or just like that but I had wanted all this from my spouse or just one simple thing that I want to show off to all that my husband is a romantic person. :bangcomp: But it has never happened all these 10 years. Obviously I fight with him for not giving me these pleasures.

    Now comes the real cake…….

    But here is all it happens:

    • Reading your mind before your speak.
    Yes he reads my mind in whatever be the situation. When during fights he counters me with apt answers and when I am happy he joins the happiness with words.
    • Realizing you are in trouble or worried (without you broaching the topic)
    He sees my face and lends me his shoulders to lean on.
    • Calling to cheer you up ,knowing it would not be a great day for you (some superfluous visitor, sullied chores you have to do).
    Does this on all days whenever we have had a fight in the morning before he is off to office.
    • Suddenly joining you for lunch without informing you
    This happens very often
    • Wiping your unseen tears

    • Standing tall as an Oak tree behind you
    • Holding you, loving you unconditionally, being with you from far and near
    • Working hard to drive away your fears
    All these he does it as he is my best friend.
    • Working hard to match your taste (not compulsory, rather not required, both of you can have your individuality but still working hard)
    He never objects or criticises my tastes in cooking or in decorating for that matter be it anything and he gives small suggestions that help me make the best.
    • Sending e-cards, emails, sms’s saying “love you”, “miss you”, etc… even when in office or far away…
    He never does that but it is me who does that (he will not reciprocate which I am used to)
    • Wearing your favourite colour shirt or blouse
    I do that too wearing his favourite colour dress (as most of the dress he gets me are of the shades of his favourite colours)
    • Being with you during all trials
    • Accepting you unconditionally
    These two are true to the core
    • Takes you by surprise by booking air / rail / road tickets to spend some cozy time with you.
    No way
    • Helping in your daily chores
    What is the meaning of that was his question but now after these years of marriage he has accepted the fact that the house will be in harmony iff he also helps
    • Not ridiculing you for your short comings rather helping you to achieve your goals.
    • Not saying, partaking or sharing anything with you but still being there for you at all times.
    He helps me realize where I have gone wrong and help me correct myownself.
    • Not in good terms with you but still cannot live without you.
    I will change that a bit "Fight a lot with you but still cannot live without you"

    We fight a lot but still we cannot live without each other.


    Accoding to me romance is something which you give and you get.
     
  9. malspie

    malspie Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh Raj,

    You have read my thread so minutely and have really taken pain to answer each notes...

    According to me you are a sweet, simple, lovable, cute, romantic person who always feels why cannot be the other person be like me... Oh, I am not asking for the moon, but, simple pleasures and am denied .... Such men should have women with dogmatic nature and unrealistic demands...
    I am sorry to interrupt it that way......

    Love you for being so sweet to me also:2thumbsup:
     
  10. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Mals,

    I was dogmatic, I was demanding, I was complaining and compelling. But time and his sheer love for me and for the kids changed my attitude but still a bit of such remains in me I think.

    Infact the fight we had today morning too had all these. I want him to help me clean the kitchen table in the night as both my kids need me to put them to sleep. They just play and play with him if he takes them to sleep. I tell them a story or at least lie with them with a book in my hand, they hug me and then go to sleep. After that, that is after lying in bed for close to 20 mins or so I just have the energy to change to my nightee and it has been for close to 6 months I have been asking him to do that particular help for me. You know what he will say the everyother morning that he will do that, that night, but till date it has never happened and I clean it in the mornings before starting to boil the milk (so irritating to see the kitchen table like that every morning), or after putting the kids to sleep when I see that he is also fast asleep I clean the kitchen table.

    Ha ha ha that was the main reason for today morning's fight. I told him that unless and untill he is helping me around he cannot and shouldnot expect me to keep the house clean(though I keep it clean as I am a work from home woman).
     

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