Dear, Anita,Sushma,Srama, Reshar, Sakthi, Shanvy and Spandey..sorry for not mentioning your names in the mail..thank you all dears..couldn't find this 'quick reply'mode earlier..
Looks like you have prepared a neat list of pros and cons. I guess a few visits to schools will give you a clearer picture. Best wishes.
Dear S3a, as for People's attitude towards such special children is concerned, I would suggest, staying in a foreign country is better....(I too have a special son).. Chennai has lot of schools for such children...Don't know about Bangalore. Anyway, as you have your relatives in India, you would be feeling at home....All the best to you...& yr kids..
OP, It is a tough decision...the reason I put those points out there is because day to day life is easier for someone with disabilities in places with greater regulation. When you are exposed to the benefits of one it can be difficult to give those up...one of the reasons many families struggle about the decision to move back to India. One of my former students is a young man with CP...he is quadriplegic and is wheelchair bound. His family visit the temple at Tirupati regularly. The was a discussion on accessibility (because he is carried up the steps) and his parents said that they didn't care...for them that Darshan was worth the back breaking work. That adaptability is our biggest strength and weakness-because we manage somehow or the other. But it also prevents us from forcing others to make the changes which makes our lives easier! I try to remember this because I know I will gripe about the difficulties in their place. Maybe if I hadn't had the exposure I wouldn't think twice about it...but having had the ease I do wonder if I will adapt that easily. It is not to say one is right while the other is wrong but it is definitely something to consider. For someone who has experienced the convenience and accessibility of services it can be a bit daunting, especially in the first year. As for learning in Dutch, my sister lived in the Netherlands 25 yrs ago...my niece and nephew went to the neighborhood school...and learned English along with several other languages. They are proficient in at least 3 languages. That issue usually straightens out as your children grow older. And yes, the isolation can be a bit difficult at times. As for academics, both places offer good scope. Teachers can be good or bad in both places, you will have access to good therapists in any of these places but day to day frustrations are different. One of the parents I worked with would get terribly upset when people came up with 'oh you poor thing' and another would take the time to explain to total strangers why she was not sad about her daughter's condition. As for insurance, there are programs to cover aids and adaptations...you can get Tax breaks for adapted vehicles, etc. Depending on your husband's job, you can get other therapy services reimbursed. there are more and more schemes on offer to support families...it is just a matter of getting to know what is on offer. As for jobs, there is scope for a lot of change twenty years down the road. Whether we will get to independent living is a different question though...it is not just access and monetary needs, it is also our inhibitions about independent living. I thought you we looking for inclusive schools...If you are looking at special schools they should come with the necessary pt/ot services, accessible buildings and extra curricular activities. Most places also have their own transportation services. Good luck.
Thank you Anita.. Sridevi..best wishes for you and your son too.. Teacher.. thank you for all the inputs..here, children start learning english only when they are 9 or 10..by 16-17 many boys and girls learn to speak English..but if we need to move from here due to my husband's job in two three years, it is going to be a problem..my childrem seem to show more interest in English than Dutch.. i think i belong to the second category..during these years, many people have asked me about dev''s problem, and i used to explain them what it is and how it happened..i am more worried, whether he will get friends there in his neighbourhood, other than from the school.. regarding the school..i wish to send him to a regular school as any other parent..but, i dont know whether he will be able to meet the high expectations of the teachers..we are still in a dilemma..i checked most of the websites of special schools and regular schools which claim to be ready for inclusion.. he recognizes all the alphabets..writes all of them..but it is a little bit difficult for him to write it in the four line copy due to poor fine motor skills..at the same time, he can write up to 100, though he is slow..it is legible too..he understands what we say..learns dutch and english fast..doesn't seem to show much interest in puzzles..he has a poor vision..wears glasses..very much interested in music..goes to toilet by himself in appropriate conditions( western closet, dry floor, enough space, easy trousers etc)..he can dress and undress himself..we dont have to feed him..he does it himself..but, whenever he is doing something, he should be encouraged to do so more often..for eg, if he is writing, we should tell him more often to finish it fast..if he is colouring, we must sit by his side..if he is dressing, he plays in between..we are not sure whether it has something to do with his condition..or it is just his character..but i feel, he should be showing more concentration at this age.. he is not much interested in cartoons..but my other son is also not a cartoon addict..but dev can watch a music show..(drums mainly) for an hour or so without moving from his seat!!! i just mentioned the above so that you can get a clear picture and give proper advice..i tried to send you a personal mail, but it seems that i should post 10 times to activate personal mails.. thank you..
Hi s3a, I am waiting on a response from one of my contacts..will get back to you as soon as I hear from her. In the meantime if you post in other threads of interest I can pm you the details (if she gives personal contact info).
Hi s3a, I have been reading teacher's replies and from what you have told about ur son, these are just my thoughts. In Bangalore, it will be really difficult to enroll ur son in a regular school. Maybe to fill quotas ,some schools may give but it is not going to help u in any way. It is better if u decide to come to Bangalore, to check out special schools. Teachers in regular schools are not trained enough to handle kids with slower learning. They will be put in separate classes and only few kids will be there. But if u put him in a special school, he will meet more kids of his cadre and he will be more confident. Maybe in a regular school, he might feel diffident if he is not able to pick up as the regular kids. If u would like Bangalore, and wish for a regular school, u can enquire with Prakriya (Wisdom School on Sarjapur Road). The school might not be modern and have those large infrastructure, but they are more open minded. Also there is Shibumi school. Please look through their site and U will know why I'm suggesting it.
Thank you reshar.. I have that fear in mind..i had gone through the website of prakriya earlier and it is impressive..I just had a look at the website of Shibumi..I shall try to contact them too.. thank you very much..
Dear OP, Is it possible for you to do a half move -- just come live in India for a few months with your son while you search for schools? If that is a possibility, I would really urge you to give it a try. It is best to get a first hand experience and see if you can live here before you close the door on Netherlands/Singapore and are stuck in India. India is not wheelchair friendly and you would end up carrying your child here and there. It would be fine now, but difficult 15 years down the line when your son would have become a man and you are old to carry him. So also think of long term perspective as well. Good luck!
