returning to bangalore with a handicapped child

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by s3a, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. s3a

    s3a New IL'ite

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    Dear friends,

    This is my first visit and first post in Indusladies.
    I went through many of the threads and is very impressed by the way you encourage each other.

    My husband works for a European company (semiconductor).We have two boys aged 5 and 6. We moved to Netherlands over an year ago. Before that we, were in Singapore. One of my children have diplegic cerebral palsy which doesn't let him walk. He has other minor problems with fine motor skills; but he is able to write alphabets and numbers upto 100. Now he goes to a special school with dutch medium.His brother also goes to a Dutch school, since we dont have an international school in the neighbourhood.
    We have always wished to relocate to india..now we have enough reasons to do so, like, old aged parents, pressure from them and siblings, english medium schools etc.
    .Our main concern is the education of my son with special needs. He seems to have average intelligence; talks like any other child of his age. Is it possible for him to get admission in a regular school? what are the other options? how does the other children(neighbours or friends) treat a handicapped boy in wheelchair? Here, he gets equal respect as any other child, and all the children in our village love to play with him. Should I expect the same in Bangalore? Is there any regular school which includes disabled children?Are bangalore roads good/safe enough to go with a wheelchair?
    We have an option to return to Singapore as well. But singapore is an expensive choice for education as well as healthcare. My son needs atleast 2 to three appointments everymonth. I am not sure whether any isurance would cover up this because his is a birth defect.

    Is there anyone with a similar experience? I am eagerly waiting for your response..

    Feeling so depressed..:(
     
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  2. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    About school admission in india, better to call a few schools before you relocate.

    My personal choice would be Singapore rather than India. As such indians still have to go a long way when it comes to being sensitive or minding their own business.

    Don't take decisions for parents or siblings. Do it only for the benefit of your child.(just my 2 cents).

    Good luck. :)
     
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  3. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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  4. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Your main concern certainly is your child! While you might get a much needed support in India with family and friends, you might want to do a little more research - please consult some friends and family in Bangalore and gather as much information as you can.

    Here are a couple of online links I found -

    Special Schools in Bangalore for Special Children with Special needs

    Special Educational School | SEN Bangalore | Trio World School - contacting some one at this school might give you better leads.

    Best wishes and I am sure you will get more help in this forum.
     
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  5. reshar

    reshar New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    You can check out with Aurinko Academy which deals with kids with learning difficulties. You can contact by email.Maybe u can mail British International School also. Samarthanam is an upcoming school with new construction, but do check out.Their website may not reflect the true state of the school. If u have someone in Bangalore, then do check out with them.

    Other than that not sure about how other schools will treat them equal. Though schools in Bangalore advertise in their websites, 99% are not friendly towards disabilities. How would they go up to a library eg? Teachers may not be strict in some schools but they definetly lack insight into a child's emotional feelings, be it a big or small school in Bangalore.

    Better check out Singapore, than India. Monetary drain is better than a emotinal drain. And that too children should be mentally prepared to rough it out.
     
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  6. Saisakthi

    Saisakthi IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sister,

    Welcome to IL family,

    Singapore is a better choice, Money should not be a matter, when it comes to health care, Teacher (user name) if she stumbles this post she will have better resources than us to help you.

    May baba bless you with all the facilities to take care of children with utmost care, you should feel proud that the almighty has selected you to give a special child to serve him, Best wishes...
     
  7. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi there,
    Here is some information to think about...
    You've been in Netherlands only for a year...so in terms of language your son is still a better English learner/speaker than dutch? If that is so, language should not be too much of a barrier...he can make that switch easier than if he was a native dutch speaker.

    As far as schools are concerned, you have to consider mobility, socialization, individualization of academic goals.
    Most regular schools in India do not follow access codes for children with disabilities. This will impact how he gets to his classroom, uses the toilet facilities, etc. It means he will be dependent on an aide. There are regular schools which allow aides (they call them shadow teachers here) but that can be tricky sometimes. Also, you will have to pay out of your pocket for the aide. While living wages may be considerably less in India, it is better to employ someone who is capable of understanding educational and social needs of your child. This is the person who is going to execute your child's educational program.

    As far as integration into society is concerned...it can go either way. It depends partly on what efforts parents are able to put in and how those around the child respond. You can have a plan for your input but can't predict how the others will respond. Some people will be mean and others will be patronizing-Not very different from other places but this is more 'in your face'. That can be unsettling.

    On a day to day level, some things are tough-transportation (are you talking about driving him around while he is seated in his wheelchair or are you talking about your son steering his wheelchair and getting around while you walk beside him?) to school can be painful, some of the basic safety measures taken elsewhere may be missing. You may find yourself butting your head against a wall because there is very limited legal obligation. Quite often schools say 'take it or leave it' (unless you know a powerful politician).


    On the other hand there is a vibrant community of adults and parents of children with disabilities who are very involved in advocacy. They meet with a tremendous amount of misinformation, bureaucracy, indifference and a tendency to glorify anything which is done for them as being good. In spite of all this, these groups work on developing better guidelines on inclusion, access and intervention. You will have an opportunity to be part of this:)

    Singapore comes with a regulated system where you know there are guidelines which have to be followed.

    I am out of town for a few days...can pass you some contact information once I get back home and access the files. Good luck...

    Sakthi???thanks for the vote of confidence but it means I have more work to do:)
     
  8. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    S3a,

    I personally feel india is walking up to children with PD. and though we are yet to grow, we are just taking baby steps.

    i still remember there was a case of a child with a disablity who was not allowed on a flight and the case was taken up by a group of like minded people, and infact it was discussed and i have heard a very positive impact of that on the community as such.

    I may sound offkey, but people who ask these questions are going to be everywhere.. well in india some ask it polish (like asking your neighbour and get named nosy) while some ask the son who maybe your younger son's classmate/schoolmate or some may ask you the mother..so it is all the way they ask.

    but, all said, as teacher says, our legal system does not have any binding over the haves and the must in providing facilities to special children.

    You can definitely check out Association for Physical disablity , they run a school in bangalore, do join the forums there, and get in touch with parents who face the challenges of mobility and other things.

    singapore is a fall back option that you can exercise anytime??if so, how about giving bangalore a visit and checking out the options before deciding..nothing like visiting and checking out things personally than going by hearsay..

    Work out your finances, the medical expenses and everything that your elder son needs and also plan your younger ones education, his future.

    APD

    Helping them rediscover life - Times Of India

    Hugs to you and be positive.

    do read the story of another mom with a cp here in il you can get in touch with her..http://www.indusladies.com/forums/s...0-do-you-have-special-needs-5.html#post869719
     
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  9. spandey747

    spandey747 New IL'ite

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    <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> hi

    i will just put across my opinion, u can weigh in and take decision.

    1. To begin with, depression on ur part is not gonna help the kid, if anything that would be is a disaster. so be positive. that would in itself transmit positive energy to the child.

    2. Have lived both in india and abroad, people in India do sympathize a lot but when it comes to acceptance they simply don't. regarding training for special kids, apart from one school in delhi have not heard good things for others. On an average, schools run by diff organizations are no good in catering to the needs of these kids. They do enroll them however the facilities are not equipped for their needs (leave aside being well equipped). If the learning ability of your kid is normal then it’s very encouraging otherwise one may face trouble in the way children r taught in regular schools since there would be no special effort on their part to walk that extra mile with this special kid. School authorities would simply access the ability of the kid, have him enrolled and would expect the parents to do most of the training and teaching thereafter.
    So all i am saying is they won't put in any great effort to make him learn, will guide the kid 2-3 times, if he doesn't get it- they won't be persistent in their efforts. still try connecting with parents of kids with similar problems in banglore itself through forums.


    3. Abroad: i have been to north america, people are more accepting, challenges r there too but the training is far-far better. Since your son is young, it would be better if the focus is on training him/skills (this would help him live a decent life on his own). It’s very imp that at this stage this child and his needs should be the priority in every decision you make.


    Wish you all the best
    (you might wanna watch one video of Satyamev Jayate- tv show hosted by aamir khan/aired sometime between june-august 2012/ that would give you a great insight on this subject catering to conditions in indian schools n training centres/ can be accessed-downloaded on any of the websites for indian tv shows/ HIGHLY RECOMMENDED)
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  10. s3a

    s3a New IL'ite

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    dear all..
    Thank you for the quick and useful replies..they mean a lot to me..

    I am proud to have a special child..We lead a very happy life.. take him with us everywhere..his disability has not stopped us from going to a party, a cruise or even mountain climbing !!beliveve me, i have never shed tears thinking about him..we are blessed with many other things..i have never prayed to cure Dev and would never ask Dev to do so..he is a happy child..My only depression is about taking a decision on settling down in Bangalore :)I feel better after reading all your replies..

    I saw the show 'Satyameva Jayate'..it was really inspiring..read the article too..

    I shall tell any of my friends or family to enquire about the schools..but, i would prefer to visit them personally, because none of them are aware of Dev's real capabilities and incapabilities..we are the only people who see him that close..i had already googled and found all those schools mentioned by you...anyways, thank you for the support..i am considering 'spastic society of karnataka'and aurinko academy..i also read about áshakiran'somewhere..

    I wish to hear from a bangalore parent who face a similar situation..it would be crucial in making a decision..

    Teacher, thank you for the elaborate reply..
    The option of going back to Singapore is only for another year..We can't go back after that..

    Personally both of us wish to settle down in India..but the only problem that blocks us from taking this decision, is the education of my son.There are some positive and negative things about all the three countries in our consideration.

    Netherlands
    positives
    people are friendly..
    friendly school and transportation(everything free) for Dev
    Husband is happy with the job
    relaxed life
    insurance covers all of Dev's walking aids and hospital expenses
    government helps the people with disability to settle down
    negatives
    Children should go to a dutch school
    my younger son's education is not going well
    Dev's therapy sessions are not going well
    i met an indian for the last time during our last vaccation to India!! it is not a big deal..but often i feel lonely without anyone who shares the same mentality..( ih ave some dutch friends)
    we can't offer any physical help to parents when they need it.
    parents and siblings are not happy..
    if a situation comes later in life, it would be difficult to go back because of the children's education..

    Singapore
    positives
    both of us love Singapore( we have lived there for some time)
    we have friends there.
    all the places are disabled friendly
    English schools
    easy to travel to india..
    we can bring the parents often to our place..

    negatives
    therapy sessions and walking aids are very expensive( not sure about the insurance, we never had one)
    schools are also expensive..
    husband's job has no security there..
    there is nothing called retired life..
    not sure how disabled friendly are the schools..
    disabled persons have no opportunity to work as far as we know
    India
    postives
    we like it..and all our families like it( that is not an excuse)
    we dont have to worry about my younger one's education.
    we have friends and family there..
    money is not going to be a problem..
    good therapy sessions..
    can help and visit the parents..they can also come to stay with us ..
    children get more close to families..
    negatives
    worried about Dev's school..
    moving around with him( we dont want to leave him at home)
    not sure whether my husband will be happy with the job
    not sure whether we will regret our decision after going back to india..
    bangalore is not a familiar city for us..

    Sometimes I think..what I would have done if I had no other choice like Netherlands or singapore? just go and settle down as if i had no other choice..
     

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