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Return Gifts for Upanayanam

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Gayathri67, Jan 17, 2014.

  1. Gayathri67

    Gayathri67 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    We are planning to celebrate our son's Upanayanam in May. What kind of return gifts can we give in Thambulam?

    We are planning on a dhoti for the men. For the ladies- sari or some gift. Our budget is around 300 for each. Can we get good grand saris for that sum in Chennai/Can you suggest a good shop for the same.
    Where can we get thambulam pies around 150 in number?
    What seer should be given by my parents?
     
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  2. swathi14

    swathi14 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi, for saris you can visit purasawalkam - saravana stores. For your budget, you can get grand luk saris.

    andal
     
  3. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    As per tradition, seer given by the parents include pudavai, veshti for their daughter,son-in-law,pattu veshti for the child,Velli poonal, Thanga Poonal available in all the shps for about Rs 300/
    Silver pancha patram, Uddharini, Silver plate and a steel vessel to hold about 10 litres for Biksha Arisi patram.
    Bakshanam include min 31 five sutru murukku, 31 laddu, one jodi paruppu thengai ( normally manoharam), and half Kg Thirattupal. Some people in Palghat have 21 ney appams.
    Saree to the child's mother need not not be pattu. Panchapatram, Uddharini may be in copper too.

    Return gifts have become an interest free loan and a non breakable thread.Unless you present useful books to real book lovers, all the Return Gift items occupy the unattended corner of Godraj shelves of the guests to be circulated and recirculated and within years, reach the ultimate salvation in Garbage boxes-unutilised by anyone in the process.Stainless steel bowls specially sold for'gifts' can be seen with edges broken.Gift shops thrive on selling small portraits of gods and Goddesses with covers more attractive than the gifts.Including oldies, no one likes to wear unmatching blouses.
    Of course sarees may be useful and not so the veshtis,except for elders.Now they are giving T shirts- not branded but ordinary quality.
    My daughter recently performed upnayanam for her son.She preferred to give Rs 200 in cash in a cover to all women and ' Vishnu saharanamam book to all men.Actually the women, though initially commented, seemed to like the idea since they could purchase a thing of their choice or spend the money usefully.The idea that the guests would keep the gifts as our rememberance is no longer vaild.
    To parents and in-laws she gave Rs 3000/ in cash, not giving a room for any compalint about the zari, colour and quality of the sarees.Precious hours were not wasted in gift shops.
    But there are people who comment" we are not here to accept donations. getting money is an insult.
    Depends on our family and circle of friends and relatives.
    As for myself, this return gift business itself is a social malady to be annihilated soon.
    Jayasala42

    For the past sixty years I am struggling to find out the connection between Poonal & murukku. Still I am not convinced.It has become a tradition & we continue.
    More than everything, the child should be encouraged to do Sandhaya Vandanam and should be made a habit.In addition to spending so many thousands on the function , we can also pay Rs 200 daily to a vedic pundit, engage him for 15 days to teach the boy daily for an hour at least for 15 days, so that the boy chants the powerful mantras automatically. Once it becomes a routine the child will get accustomed to this and he will start doing without being compelled.There are you tube video sites for Yajurveda sandhyavandanam practially demonsrating the process.
    Educated mothers can guide the children and make them mentally and spiritually strong.
     
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  4. swaran

    swaran IL Hall of Fame

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    If you have time,maybe you can collect information about our lost traditional things ,prepare a book and give it to people who attend the upanayanam :)
     
  5. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    I dont know much about this custom but I did attend one function. Below were given to me and my DH.

    1. A beautiful big plate with home made ladoos, appams, some 3 other sweets for which I do not know the name. It also contained a few fruits, dry fruits and roses. This was beautifully wrapped in some see-through sheet.
    2. In another small plate, they also gave dhoti and saree
     
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  6. vidukarth

    vidukarth Platinum IL'ite

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    Now a days people are also giving nice CD's of slokams, carnatic songs, and namasankeerthanam bhajans which kids and elders can hear to.
     
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  7. lgirish

    lgirish Platinum IL'ite

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    if possible try to visit silver jewellery shops like NAC. Recently when I visited them they showed silver god pictures enclosed in glass frames and tanjore paintings, They have different varieties to suit budgets.
     
  8. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    We conducted our son's upanayanam in Chennai in 2013 summer. The whole confusion of what to give came up. I wanted something that could be used as a pooja item, but not another swami picture. I went to tambulya.com (they have a shop in Mylapore, Chennai). We gave everybody an agarbathi stand. It was shaped like a mango leaf (in white metal) with a small Ganesha at the head of the leaf with a small Ganesha. Many people from both my side as well as husband's side came back to us a few days later and said how beautiful it was as well as how useful. Here is the link

    Aluminium Leaf Incense Holder Return Gift, Best Return gifts : Tambulya

    Congratulations on your son's upanayanam. Please stress the importance of doing daily Sandhayvandanam to him. I have seen first hand the positive influence doing it has had on my son. God bless to him
     
  9. cinderella06

    cinderella06 Platinum IL'ite

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    Apart from traditional return-gifts, You can give silver items for close relatives, but you have to spend minimum 800rs for good silver item like kunkuma chimizh. Otherwise you can give, devotional song CD's, sloka CD, or sloka books, god idols. If you find time, visit GIRI For Indian Culture and Tradition | Pooja and Temple Items | Books on Hinduism | CDs on Classical and Devotional, you will get some idea. And see if you can find something in your budget.
    Congratulations on your son's upanayanam.
     
  10. Gayathri67

    Gayathri67 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Thanks for all your suggestions and Blessings. I know return gifts has become a social unnecessity. But not giving something invites more criticisms than giving something that people turn up their noses at. So,let us go along with the current.

    I too checked at Tambulya but I am not sure about the size of the stuff we can choose online. I mean nothing like looking at things and feeling them before you buy. If its a pint sized gift,people might comment. The bigger the better,I would say.

    I guess I would have to stick with Vesthis and Saris.
     

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