Resources For Young Adult With Special Needs

I want suggestions or idea or any resources for special needs adult in India.


Here is the situation-- I have a cousin lets call him A, who is considered as a special needs adult. He is not physically challenged, nor does he need an adult supervision on a day to day work. He is able to take care of his daily needs and even do few household work-- the thing where my cousin fails is to co-mingle in a society, communicate in an effective fashion ( apart from his wants and needs) he can't communicate his feelings or think, measure if the situation is good, bad or worse. I think he couldn't cope up with school work and didn't get basic 10th-grade schooling.

Nobody can tell A has special needs until he starts to talk he has a good speech or communicative skills just that his logic doesn't add up. He will be considered as a half-wit or “Pedda” in Kannada pedda - Meaning in Kannada - pedda in Kannada - Shabdkosh | ನಿಘಂಟು : English Kannada Dictionary and Translation


A is several years younger to me- so I only know few itty bitty things about him or the situation and most of them have been witnessed by myself or things I have heard is from my mom or trusted cousin.

1.My aunt seems to have completely forgotten about her son and is devoted to her grandson. My aunt’s 200% attention is on her grandchild, apart from cooking for her son she doesn't really know what to do with him. My uncle works in different part of the state 5 days a week and doesn't live with my aunt 80% of the time and he has never really been the fatherly kind either.

2. My aunt and her daughter ( my cousin) take 'A" for granted and make him do all their errands, without giving him any monetary reward. There is a strong co-dependancy issue with A and his mother.

3. The family treats him as a ‘child’ in a certain aspect and as an ‘adult’ in few aspects. Identifying him in different roles is confusing for a 3rd person like me. It must be more irritating for him.
The things that I have seen where he is considered as a child-- he is not allowed to make a choice. He is expected to get approval from his mother before he does anything. Like this instance--- I think A made a choice of choosing a ringtone to his cellphone and paid Rs 50 and his mother went into a rage of slapping him in front of me. I was shocked to see this and consoled my cousin not to take things seriously and consoled my aunt too later.

On occasion, when he is considered as an adult- when he locks up the bathroom for more than 45 mins... everyone knows what he is doing there. Apparently, he isn't allowed to talk to girls and all his friends should meet in the presence of his mother. My aunt works 9-5, she won't let him go meet friends or his friends to come home on workdays nor be on the internet, coz my aunt is afraid he will watch ****- She apparently carries the modem to work. He doesn't have a cellphone.

4. A is almost 25- 26-year-old special need young adult, who sits all day at home. He tried few odd jobs like selling shoes in Adidas or Nike and door to door marketing jobs. Again he is too dumb to understand the concept of money, to tackle different situation and scenarios. He worked for maybe 2-3 months and either they send him away or people at work figure out he is dumb and make him spend all his salary or take advantage of him to make their profit. So now all he does is just sit at home with no internet and watches TV all day.

5. Few other aunts suggested to send him to work as a bank sub staff( who cleans) or a watchman or peon in a govt office but A’s family think it's a very low position for him to accept.
6. A's family isn't financially safe. They live in a rented house, no prospects of owning a house or building one. My cousin is married and lives with her husband and his family. The sister helping him when the parents are no more is out of the question at least (for now). Seeing the trajectory of things being co-dependent on his sister fincially is not a good idea or good move.



I feel super bad for this kid. Although I didn't grow up with him, it hurts me to see this kid just be in a hopeless position. I want to know if there are any resources for young adults with special needs that can be utilized. Is there anything that the family can do for him?

Any suggestion is welcome- I just want this kid to have some sort of monetary security for himeself in the future.

 

No response ?

 

JAG thanks for your response. I can understand this is not a common situation.Although there are many people like him I believe the society is just clueless how to go about helping people with special needs. Hopefully there is a life skill or anything helpful for this kid to lead a life without being dependent on his sister.

 

Momsky-thanks for your input. I think my cousin has the problem of understanding the concept easily and concentration. Again, its a hearsay-- so don't really know what the real issue is.

I really like the idea of woodwork and carpentry. I will suggest this. Again not entirely sold on photography or painting as he is the kind where people will take advantage of and he lets them.
Once he lost his cellphone to a stranger- the stranger asked him to give his phone to make a call and then the stranger ran away with my cousin phone.
So I think his parents are hesitant to purchase or indulge him in expensive items.

 

Thanks Amica for your input. I will definitely do my research.
My aunt has been in denial from the time my cousin was a toddler. She has refused to listen and even acknowledge something is wrong. She has not yet diagnosed the real issue with her son.I think it started out as a small behavioral problem when my cousin was younger, without actually addressing it. The problem has just taken many heads and now nobody in the family want to address the issue and easier for everyone to ignore it.

I think in few month the whole family ( my aunts/ uncle) are planning on an intervention. I am collecting ideas and any kind of resources to get him the help that could make his life a bit better.

I know it is not hard to see our offsprings not being "normal". But whatever the child is- as parents we are obligated to enhance the child's opportunities to lead a better life.

Thanks for the compliment. I dint march, but I wish I had.

 

Laks- Thanks so much again.

The whole family my aunt's sisters, brother, and uncles are having a sit-down and trying to have an intervention kind of a thing. So, my aunt is fully aware where her son actually stands and what are the options are there for her and her son.

I completely agree, my cousin has been so neglected that he doesn't even know who he is. I doubt the parents will have time for him to take him to the psychologist now. But again as a concerned family member, I can add to the resources and possibility out there for her child.

Yes, this is what my cousins and other aunts spoke about-- ignoring/ sheltering him isn't helping him or the family.
Him watching p*** was the hot topic. My aunt feels he shouldn't see p***.
But come on he is 25 years old guy even with his behavioral issues he can't become a child because my aunts want him to be. I don't know why she doesn't understand that. He is not given internet coz of this reason. I

Everyone grew up by making mistakes and learning from it. Hell 70-year-olds make mistakes, lose money or make bad choices. But somehow this kid is put under so much pressure that he should get things right- is ridiculous.

This is the thing my aunt and her husband don't get. They see that he isn't physically challenged, understands and follows their requests, demands but fails in school work or to make friends and they think "he talks like a duck and MUST walk like a duck" if he isn't he is just lazy or whatever they tell themselves.

I don't know what to call my aunt and her husband negligent/ illiterate/ careless/ not exploring what's out there for their child...??

My parents once suggested my aunt enroll the kid in mountaineering school- where there is the need of physical activity. Both the parents just brushed it aside and never even did anything.

All my other cousins have a life- go to work, run business, party, have a life, go out with gf's, bf's, shop. This kid is so disconnected when we all meet- he has nothing to talk with us except for family drama that he gets to hear from his mom and other aunts/ grandma. The last time I saw him he was so curiously seeing my other cousins leather jacket and asking questions like how much it costs. It was so heartbreaking.

I will make sure to mention this. If you know any psychiatrist please suggest. I will make sure my aunt gets all the info.