OP. I still dont understand what your mother did to you. She didnt abuse you. Your only complaint is -"She was never there for us emotionally". What do you mean by that ?what else she could have done. She always took care of you. May be she dont know what else do other than doing her duty (you are looking at what is missing. Not on her positives). People can use detachment as a method to survive an unhappy life. I have seen many women who dont have any capability as a home maker . Its not their fault. May be they lack the capacity to do it. But their husbands support them. But there are also women who can do multitasking like a being a good mom or professional. Think in her shoes.. She was married to a person who dont support her or love her(if so he might have supported her - a loveless marriage?. Its can be a reason for resentment towards your DAD . Have you read a post on divorce after 25 years due to PILs issue? Its tough to face that.) Second she suffered a lot in your dads home -worst MIL , SIL situation.. Your dad and grandma did more damage to your brother not her. Leaving kids to grandma is not an uncommon situation in India. But grandma should be blamed for the negativity she build in your brothers mind. May be your mother dont have any voice there. I think she didn't have any choice. She suffered silently and became numb . But I appreciate that she had the motivation to work and save for kids.May be an escape from the home. She did most of the things a mother generally do in India. Took care of you.. If she had a loving home with a supporting husband, your and mothers experience would have been different . EMA is wrong. No doubt. But its the issue between your DAD and mom. You only know a few things.. May be there are so many other things you dont know about your DAD or mom. I think you should blame your DAD for creating this mess. He was never there emotionally. Your mom was abused like anything and she found solace in EMA i think (may be revenge).. But these are our guess. Only your mom know the truth on how much she suffered or what was in her mind. Why dont you take your mom out and share your feelings. Talk positively. Share your sorrows. May be she will open up.. Try to see the positives and blessings. She is old. Try to build a good relationship and enjoy the rest of the time with her. Past is done. Try to forgive and move on else you will suffer. I think this is the impact of abusive marriage/environment on children. This is the reason why its important to be a strong woman and stand up for yourself &kids and be a good role model for your kids. That's why Ilites suggest that very often. But all are not super women. Only a few can do it. Thats the mistake your mom did-She didnt stand up for herself . May be fearing society. She was a victim in many ways.