I have come across a few people who talk indirectly to us. Though we are in the middle of a conversation, they do tend to ask some indirect questions. Something like, they want to know where a particular item is available and they would just throw a simple statement in the air as " I don't know where it is available in this city" or "This is what I have bought for the festival." etc etc. But their actual intentions would be "do you know where this is available in the city" or "I bought this for the festival. What did you get for yourself?". Those direct questions are all missed out, purposely. And these are all situations with various persons. And let me tell you they are not the hesitant types. I, usually, stay mum during those situations. I, personally, feel that if they are talking to me, then why even talk so indirectly? Is it their ego that is stopping them from asking such questions or is it that they do not want others to underestimate them? Whatever be the reason, I feel this is not a decent way of conversation.
Your reaction and your response to these situations is completely accurate. Continue to do what you are doing. Do not encourage indirect conversations and do not respond to them. The reasons could be umpteen number of them to simple introvertedness or shyness to directly ask through ego issues to extreme cases of triangulation (as in narcissistic relationships where people always communicate through a third person and do not directly communicate with one another). Whatever be the reasons, you are correct in that these modes of communication are neither healthy nor respectful. Encourage people to make eye contact and say or ask you directly for something so they do not have any inhibitions or complexes in doing so.
There's nothing indecent about it. There could many reasons, including cultural or psychological conditioning, that discourage direct communication about certain issues. Why attribute malice when there isn't any evidence of it? Perhaps the individuals are shy, or awkward, or perhaps they are uncomfortable expressing vulnerability. It is not easy to ask for help. We all worry about being turned down and feeling foolish. Some people might be genuinely curious but feel odd asking anything remotely personal. In such situations I always give the person the benefit of the doubt and try to put them at ease by explicitly addressing the issue, and making it the focus of the conversation. So if someone says, "I don't know where it is available in this city", I'd say, "Were you looking for some help finding it?" If I wanted to avoid answering a personal question, depending on my comfort level with the individual, a gentle "we haven't thought about that yet" or a more direct "I'm not comfortable answering that", always work. By acknowledging their question, I open an avenue for them to be more forthright about what they are asking. Now it is up to them to pursue that thread of conversation or drop it. Either way, I lose nothing by simultaneously being considerate yet straight-forward.
Generally speaking, I am helpful with information or opinion or advice, one can say over-helpful. And don't might providing info to even indirect question if the indirectness is unintentional. But, if the person is not the hesitant type, is obviously fishing for info while not wanting to explicitly say so, I clam up. There are few such in my acquaintance circle, and I deal with them accordingly. Like this mom I will run into at Walgreens, who will very very indirectly ask what summer camps I am looking at for next summer.
