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removed thali by mistake

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vidgopal, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. vidgopal

    vidgopal Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    i am an brahmin iyer from tamil.nadu. Currenly in hong kong with husband..today we were in the pool swimming and by mistake( i have no idea how) my thirumagalya thali came off my neck and fel down. I was shocked n could.not move.my husband tool it quickly and put it on me again.. Im disturbed now..came home quickly and lit the lamp in front of my kamtchi..i am so scared and worried..i am very careful about my thali usually n maintain it carefully..i don knw what happened today..should i be worried..please advice:-(
     
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  2. Coffeelover

    Coffeelover Platinum IL'ite

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    Common Young lady, don't worry about it. Nothing will happen. By the way, as far as i know even non Brahminswear Thali. It is not only for Brahmins. I am not hte person into Tahli, Metti and Kukuma etc. I love it, but if you don't have it, does not mean you are bad or crazy or something.

    Don't get mad at me fo asking you this. Going to swimming pool in public wearing swimming dress, is it really ok according to Tamil Brahmin tradion? I am curious. We change according to the time. If you will strongly that the thali chain should be worn all the time, it is good. But taking it out, never bring you bad luck. Your Kamakshi will take care of you.

    CL
     
  3. vidgopal

    vidgopal Bronze IL'ite

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    I had to mention thay coz from most of the other forums i understood that north indians are cool with the whole.concept of mangalsutra..so just wanted to be more specific.. Thanks though :).
     
  4. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    Dont worry ..pray god tht ur husband be safe all the time..
     
  5. jennysrik

    jennysrik Gold IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    Hi vidgopal

    All is well! Don't worry! Read any slokas so that you get rid of the ill-feeling. Usually, in times of distress, I read 'pasurapadi ramayanam'. I am not sure if you have heard it!

    Love,
    Jenny
     
  6. Pragadha

    Pragadha Senior IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    hi vidya,

    i am also a brahmin from tamilnadu and staying in sharjah. Dont worry about it the same thing happened to me thrice:bonkeven 2 days back ( i removed it unknowingly while removing my night dress and once during facial they kept it on my head but unexpectedly it came down and once that knot came out). I was also much worried and i use to pray god for my husband. But then i use to think about people who doesnt wear thali. For malayalees they have thali but there is no need to wear it. They too have functions for tieing up thali.

    It hurt us because it is a compulsion for us to wear. Dont worry everything is in our heart and not in our jewels. Think it is also a jewel.
     
  7. inlovewithmylyf

    inlovewithmylyf Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    Vidgopal,

    Don't worry dear... Nothing bad is gonna happen to ur husband... It fell off by mistake... God knows everything... He will take care of u and ur husband...

    Pragadha,

    Even m a malayalee, n we have no such thali tying function and all... N there is no where written in this world, tht mallus need not wear the thali or only brahmins need to wear it all the time... People with thaali sentiments wear it all the time irrespective of any religion, caste or creed... I know so many Tamil Iyers who don't wear thaali at all, n mallus who wear it everyday... BTW, I don't wear my thaali everyday 'coz I don't believe in such sentiments n have not removed it 'coz m a mallu...

    Take care...

    Regards
     
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  8. antiquesrinivas

    antiquesrinivas New IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    You have no reason to worry. Your husband has nothing to do with the thali. In the olden days it was different. Women were usually not educated and they had a rough time in their husband's house. If the husband happend to loose his job start drinking and selling everything for his habit, then the only thing the wife had to secure her future was the thali. So they made a rule that it should never be taken off. But today it has no reason for that. Even in the hindu marriage ceremony the sapta pati is most important. Only in South india they had a mangalya dharanam. The rituals are different all over india and therefore not to worry. I have not worn my thali in 37 yrs. and we are fine and dandy. Take care.
     
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  9. simply_doubtful

    simply_doubtful Gold IL'ite

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    even in north india they wear mangalsutra. unlike southindians theirs is a gold pendant with black beads. almost all married women get to wear mangalsutra be it black beads or thali.
     
  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: removed thali by mistake :-(

    Wearing the thali is essentially a matter of sentiment that varies from person to person. No woman can increase or decrease the longevity of her husband just by wearing a mangalsutra or removing it. That is only for God to decide.

    All over the world, there is no requirement that the wife has to wear a thali. Still there are couples who live happily for years and years. Don't get me wrong - I am not saying everyone should remove it or that it is worthless/meaningless. All I am saying is that if the well being of a husband is assured by wearing a thali, there should have been no widows in India at all.

    Just think of this for a moment. Let us assume that the mangalsutra must be worn for a husband to live long. Think of the women who are tortured and harassed by their husbands. They could remove the mangalsutra and be freed of their agony. Would that get them freedom from the brutes their husbands were?

    I think that itself should make it clear to anyone, that the mangalsutra and the husband's life have nothing to do with each other.

    The thali or the mangalsutra at the end of the day is a symbol of the marital status of the woman and so that she should not take it off, women in earlier times were threatened with dire consequences if they did. As someone else said here, it was also the one gold possession which was entirely hers and no one could take it away from her.

    Fine, if you feel sentimental about the thali, wear it by all means - but don't agonize over it and live your life in fear.
     

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