Remarrying the same person after divorce (asking for a friend)

DrKadambari · Jul 23, 2012

One of my friend (guy) in India is divorced, his ex wife now wants to give it a 2nd shot, does this work.

Both are from middle class family (he is 34 and she 31), educated, both working in good jobs. Lived together for like 6 months, she didnt want to get married at first place but married - looks like she said it before marriage but boy took it light. his mother is ill so she stayed with a relative so that she does not disturb newly wed couple. Sister married, younger bro single, works out of town comes once in 3 to 4 months only. In these 6 months, girl used to go to her mothers house daily morning after getting ready, eat bfast there and go to work. Night go back to mom's house eat dinner and return to husband's (her) home. Her mom is extremely dominating, and vocal. Later, she moved to her mother's house and accused him of not wishing her properly for her birthday and all those were all pety. Then divorced after year. Guy didnt want to divorce as she was his first love he says, after divorce she moved out of country but kept emailing him and they used to chat :bonk. Now she is back to india and want to give it a 2nd chance. This guy never came out what happneed at all, or there was no time at all before they started speaking again.

I know this family and other family members also, they are emotional types family but forward thinking. His mother is a retired lady who managed and grew all the 3 kids single handed after her husband passed away.

I do not know the girls side of the story though, but the accusations seemed too kiddish for divorce.

CoolPie · Jul 23, 2012

If the boy is interested, they can proceed. If the girl is behaving the same way as she did before divorce and doesnt oblige to the marital vows, they can very well seperate after a few months or a year.

Tell him that the girl should behave as a wife and prove herself as a good wife. Otherwise, its better they get seperated forever.

Now she has to remember that its the guy who is offering her a chance and not her offering a chance to the guy.

introspection · Jul 23, 2012

Heart says should ......mind (brain) says should not ....

What is the guarantee that the problems will not resurface ?

Sometimes in the spur of the moment we end up doing something that we regret later and sometimes regret for a lifetime, divorce as in this case.

Whats stopping them from getting married. If you advice your friend, and then again, something goes wrong, perhaps they might come witch hunting for you .....

But if I was personally in this situation, I would have given this a second shot based on my emotional quotient, but not hurried to marry again in haste.

Would have dated the ex-wife for next 2 years and checked compatibility thoroughly , before taking the leap again. "once bitten ... thrice shy !!!!!!"

fencesitter · Jul 23, 2012

I doubt it will work. I guess she needs comfort, emotional one, it appears. But that can not be the sole reason to get marry.

aminroop · Jul 23, 2012

jab miyan biwi raazi toh kya karega kaazi.... (when a man and woman want to marry, how can the priest prevent them) !!!!

positivegal · Jul 23, 2012

I read a true story couple of days ago that came to a psychologist, where two people were again together after divorce. So, it can happen.

Nandshyam · Jul 23, 2012

I see "rebound". Beware!!!!

flowerlady · Jul 23, 2012

I wonder how the couple will forget the ugly divorce and the aftermath.
The lady seems to be a superficial one , marrying, divorcing, marrying the same man.
Maybe she went around and decided that he is still the best ,same for the guy!
Maybe they deserve each other.

ivlakshmi · Jul 23, 2012

If both are single and now matured.. It is ok to go ahead

skalluri · Jul 23, 2012

I wonder how people can forget their painful past and want to get together again, where will be the trust, respect which are basic pillars for marriage.