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Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sriniketan,

    Yes true.But we should call them for courtesy sake i suppose.Thanks.kamal


    Lata,

    God bless yr family.What we teach our children, that is what they will learn when they grow up.Thanks and regards.kamal

    Krish,

    Yes i agree.Weddings are held in exotic places,away from hometown, so less people come, and only those whome we want.Recently i attended an NRI weddign where the boy was from Germany, and girl from USA, and only 150 people were called to Jaipur for the wedding, where none of them had relatives.
    Thats thje way these days i suppose.Regards.kamal
     
  2. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Puni,

    Yes people have turned matlabis.If u are in use to them today, they will remember u, otherwise discard u.Regards.kamal


    Meeta,

    HAHA.Yes Rupaiya counts more than anything these days.What has the world come to,Meeta.Thanks and regards.kamal



    Jaishree,

    How true.The real fun is when relatives meet.We have so many memories of the olden days.Yes they may be poor, or not upto our status, but how can we forget them.In this busy world, this is the time to get back to reality and call our near and dear ones,irrespective we like them or not these days.

    I may be wrong, but this is the way i feel about these things.

    There was a wedding of NRI;s in jaipur.The couple did the pheras wearing shoes,they kissed lip to ip for a full minute, and the photographer asked for a retake, as he was not ready, and again they did.The parents of both were clapping thinking what a great thing their children have done, but my ears were red Jaishree.I was very embarassed, my wife and daughter were watching, and we turned away our faces.Is this what the world has come to ?I am still the old fashioned person till date.

    Thanks and regards.kamal
     
  3. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    Kamalji,
    I assume these are the same people you mentioned in the earlier post in this thread. You have to understand that both the groom and bride have grown up out side of india with western influences but still were obliging enough to their parents to have the wedding in india. And the parents do are aware of the fact that the kids are considerate of their wishes by getting married in india. Now can they not make a small allowance and let them kiss after the exchange of the sacred vows?? Yes it is another thing that it would have been nice if everyone involved were aware of local customs and sensibilities:-D

    Yes the parents are right in thinking that their children have done a great thing. I.e getting married in india (i am sure that is what they were cheering and being thankful for)

    Imagine this.... the biggest day in your life you want to be surrounded with the people whom you grew up with, are friends with and who are your kith and kin and celebrate it in a way that you see your peers do. The bride and groom have already sacrificed the presence of their friends and peers can they not be given a small allowance when they kiss?? you need to be embarassed when it becomes a shilpa shetty and richard gere wrestle:-(

    As per the wearing shoes in the mandap what was the priest thinking?? couldn't he speak up ?? Or were there no priest (used tapes for the ritual) present. If the learned ones cannot enlighten the lesser knowledgeable who can be blamed. Looks like we should be thankful that the priest didn't turn up wearing a black suit and shoes (bride and groom sure wouldn't know a difference)
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Blondie,

    looking at it from yr perswpective, thigs look different.Yes they have missed out on friends, and their own country,.The priest told them to remove the shoes, but they requested him and he agreed.The priest said half the marriages these days of indians also, they wear shoes while doing pheras.


    Thanks for yr great views, regards.kamal
     
  5. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Dear blondie
    Ur right in ur views if one think from other angle.But I still feel that "Jesa desh vaisa bhesh " If u want to have a private wedding no problem have a court marrige & have the day as u want. But if one want to have wedding according to our religious rituals than one shudnt do the" Ghalmail" Of cultures.
    As the open kissing in our culture is not yet accepted & so there shud be line between freddom & Maryada of the occassion.
    The rituals of marrige & marrige vows in our culture shud be performed with all purity as we believe marrige is not only apersonal ,family or social affair but is also a religious function whicch unite two souls for 7 janam. Sadly now adays most of us overlook it.
     
  6. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    I totally agree with Jaishree's views. These were the exact thoughts that went through my mind when reading the posts.

    sriniketan
     
  7. Blondie

    Blondie Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Jaishree,

    I agree with you hundred percent personally because i am fortunate enough to have extended family ( a huge one) here in US and my kids have imbibed our culture and when i take pains to explain further about our rituals, and practices it makes sense to them with out further discussion. But it is not the case for many of the expat indians. The kids grow with western influences and the very idea of touching elders feet to get their blessing seem alien to many of them and also unhygeinic. This is a ritual which is like a involuntary habit for us when we recieve elders. So what are the parents to do other than be very happy when their kids say 'hai how are you' out of their own motivation (with out being prompted ). Should the elders expect that these kids be scolded right then and there.

    What you have said holds hundred percent true for people living in india and will be living in india. If they want a religious wedding then have to stick with the proper way. This will eliminate all the music being blasted of the PA system while the priest is chanting the hymns and the bride and groom learn the correct meaning & pronounciation of the hymns that they need to repeat after the priest. I see from Kamalji's response that the kids born and brought up and who will be living in india are also wearing shoes in the mandap. Now what do you say of aping of the western culture by people who have not lived a day outside of india? I see a lot of people walking with house slippers (footwear) even into their puja rooms where as it is instilled into us to be bare feet in gods abode.

    All these western born kids of indian heritage have done is take it to a bit further extreme our south indian ritual of eating husbands left over (this has become a part of the ritual that is done before they get off of the mandap since 5 day weddings have been shrunk to few hours):)

    In a Hindu marriage, the bride's father tells the groom:

    "Dharmecha, Arthecha, Kaamecha, Mokshecha twayaisha naati charitavyaa."

    It means "in matters of Dharma(duty), Artha(money) , Kaama (desire), Moksha(spirituality) you should not be unjust to her".

    In reply, the bridegroom says:

    "Naati charaami" (I shall not transgress).
    Naaticharami - na-atichara-mi
    I will not overstep the normal bounds of human behaviour with regards to Dharma (duty), Kaama(desires) and Artha (money) and Moksha.

    here the groom has practically demonstrated in front of a modest 'crowd' the desire part:-( (since kissing in public has become normal human behaviour in the western culture that they grew up in.

    I had also mentioned that it would have been nice if they were more sensitive to the local culture in my first post (might have gotten lost in translation).
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2007
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Blondie,Sri,Jaishree,

    I have been enjoying all yr views in the comments, and it is interesting.So i will not comment, but it sure makes it for interesting reading.Carry on.And thanks for yr kind comments.

    Regards.kamal
     
  9. subbutr

    subbutr Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks for refreshing those moments of agony from the relatives of Big B...my dear kamalji...

    That's the part and parcel of the elites for whom only fame and prestige are first and foremost than the close relatives love and blessings.

    Like a building, a relationship does not crash suddenly. It weakens over time. Periodic check up can stop this such incidents for a greater bonding between them.

    Therefore try and note the smallest change in every area of relationship and take care.

    subbu
     
  10. naazneen

    naazneen Junior IL'ite

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    Hey Blondie,
    Logging on after a long time and once again your post both amuses and enlightens me. Very true about understanding different sentiments. You know what is soo good is that inspite of having children who follow through with Indian custom, you are still so sensitive to the feelings of NRI's who are not with alot of family support here or who may have inspite of efforts not been able to bring up their children in a strictly traditional form. Frankly people love to boast such stuff and rub it in.
    Really like how you always seem to speak your mind.
    ~ Naazneen.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2007

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