OP calculate what is the mortgage, credit card payments etc, and tell him that he need to contribute 50% of total expenses at least. I am sure you can find his approximate salary too. Some information may be available online for similar position. Another way is to open up a join checking account with joint credit cards , link that accounts for all mortgages and payments. Every month both of you contribute an amount to the same account. This way atleast you will know the total expenses. If his total payments are more than you, dont worry much. If he earns more he has to contribute more But rightnow working on you and your marriage is the first priority. Finance can be the next... But you need to wait till your relationship is back on track.